


The Boy Who Grew Up Touched and Chose a Family With His Own Hands

by Mooshbabii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Autism Spectrum, BUT LIKE SOCIOLOGY I GOTTA, Child Abuse, Drug Use, I'll add more tags as i go, M/M, Miscarriage, Rape/Non-con Elements, This fic is really weird for me to write, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-28 08:45:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 24
Words: 48,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8439022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mooshbabii/pseuds/Mooshbabii
Summary: The boy didn’t know what to do as he watched the woman seize. His head was throbbing and he was crying, screaming through the pain as blood trickled down his face. Matting in his hair. The boy strained and gnawed at the seat holding him in. The car was going to fall. The car was going to fall. It was all he thought as the sirens wailed and got closer to the car. The car was going to fall. Bright lights looming nearer. The car was going to fall. Noise and lights so loud and so bright. The car was going to fall. The door to the car was opened.





	1. Car seats

**Author's Note:**

> This is....super fucked up.

“Koutarou, you need to sit still while mommies driving. I can’t focus when you wiggle that much.” The small boy tried to hold himself still. But it was hard to do so when the car was swerving. The man and woman in the front had dark bags under their eyes, the veins in their arms were bright purple and you could see them clearly as small droplets of blood dribbled down them and onto the syringes between the seats. They didn’t look like they could sit up straight, eyes glazed over. The small boy held in a cry as the car swerved sharply towards the fence. There were tons of trees on either side of the road. A drop on the left. The fence between the road and the drop sparked and strained, it moaned when the woman pressed harder on the gas. The car stopped. The small boy was now screaming as the car groaned pushing the fence out. The woman began to convulse violently in the front seat. The man hadn’t said a word since they passed a small gas station while speeding. The boy didn’t know what to do as he watched the woman seize. His head was throbbing and he was crying, screaming through the pain as blood trickled down his face. Matting in his hair. The boy strained and gnawed at the seat holding him in. The car was going to fall. The car was going to fall. It was all he thought as the sirens wailed and got closer to the car. The car was going to fall. Bright lights looming nearer. The car was going to fall. Noise and lights so loud and so bright. The car was going to fall. The door to the car was opened.

-oOo-

“….I know that now isn’t the best time. I know. But you both are the only ones in the system that don’t have another pup right now. We don’t think he’d be able to handle that. He’s practically catatonic.” Hana looked at the file nervously. She didn’t want to send him to a crowded home that they did with the rest of the pups. All of these houses looked rundown and hoarded. The voice on the other end of the receiver sighed.

“Hana, I don’t know. It really isn’t the best time for me. And Keishin.” Hana knew what had happened. Knew what sort of tragedy it was for him, knew how he had been isolated from his friends because of it. But she just couldn’t let the pup be victim to another unqualified family in an overcrowded and underfunded system.

“I know what you went through is really hard. I’m not trying to tell you to get over that Ittetsu. But this boy is in a really bad state. He needs to be cared for and not shoved into another one of those homes. Please, do this for me?” A long sigh was let out on the other side of the receiver. “We’re getting him treated at the hospital right now. He’s going to need someone who administer the stuff he needs and I know you can do that. If you don’t want to do it for me, do it for him.” A small strained sob was let out on the other end. Hana braced herself for the ‘no’ she was almost 100% sure she would receive.

A shaky inhale of breath before he spoke again. “I just don’t know if I can anymore,” The voice quivered, and after a long silence the conversation was finally picked back up again. “What happened to him?”

“You know I can’t tell you that unless you plan to be picking him up,” Another sob. Hana sighed and pressed her palm to her forehead. It was still cold from the night air. The hospital was annoyingly cold and she didn’t understand why. “You know that crash out on 80?” an ‘mmhmm’ was given. Hana rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall of the hospital. “Meth heads. Look if you can just take him for the night I can find another home it’s just that I know you guys and I know you’d be good for him and I know that he won’t be treated well in those shit holes. He’s an Omega, Ittetsu. And you yourself should know how people treat people like him. He’s not been treated well already, can’t we just give him one place where he can be safe? He’s just a pup.” She was begging now and she knew it. She’d grown up in this system herself and it was no place for anyone else but girl omegas and boy alphas. If you break that you’re bound for the worst.

“How old?” Was all he said.

“Six,” Just turned six at that. The day before. Not a real good birthday present to have your parents die.

“Okay. Keishin says okay, too,” Hana tried to contain her cry of relief. “We’ll be over shortly. Keishin’s starting the car,” A beat of silence before… “You know how hard this is right?”

“I’m sorry Ittetsu. I don’t like putting you in this position, either. I just know he needs someone like you.”

“Oh stop, Hana, you like doing this to me and you know it.” The laugh was forced but kind. Hana smiled in return.

“It’s what I live for, putting you in uncomfortable positions. What else are friends for?” Another laughed. She folded her arms. “still want me round for dinner knowing I’m out get you?”

“Of course. I gotta go. But I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon.” Hana hung up the call with a smile on her face. She walked back into the room where the pup slept. He’d need a lot of patience, she hoped Ittetsu could give it to him.


	2. Rubberduckies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takeda and Ukai take the pup in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOO FUCKED UP

 

Ittetsu had read the medical file. Bile rising in his throat as he did so. Testing for STD’s on a six year old is just something that should never ever happen. Rectal tearing, anal fissures. A cracked rib. A broken ring finger. A mild concussion. Swelling in his face from strangulation. A split lip. As Ittetsu took in the sight of the pup in front of him he began to cry. There were visible hand marks around his neck, purple. Bruises littered every inch of him. A large scrape above his brow looked like it stung badly. His finger was in a brace and taped to the middle finger. His feet had blisters and cuts on them. The pup was looking down at his lap, he looked dazed, his eyes were red and puffy from crying. He quickly regained his composer and carefully strode forward towards the pup. The pup quickly looked up, his eyes wide and his lip quivering, he drew himself back into his pillow. “It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. My name is Takeda Ittetsu, I’ve come to make sure you have a safe place to stay,” The pup pulled the blankets up higher to his face. Ittetsu could smell the fear radiating off of him. It made him slightly sick. It was intense, full of sadness and so thick. He made sure to counter it with his own calm scent. Keishin followed behind him releasing his own scent. “You’re name is Bokuto Koutarou, right?” Ittetsu asked as he sat in the chair next to the hospital bed. Keishin stayed a few steps away with a gentle smile. The pup nodded and drew back. Ittetsu smiled as kindly as he could. The fear was overwhelming, he commended the nurses that probably had to smell this scent all day. “We have some clothes for you to wear. Would you like to change?” The pup let the blanket down slightly and looked between Keishin and him. The pup nodded. He handed him a pair of grey sweatpants and a white shirt. That’s what the hospital had. They would have to go and get things for him tomorrow. The pup didn’t make a move to put them on, instead choosing to rub them against his face. “Do you need help to get them on?” The pup looked at him worriedly. Holding the clothes tight, he didn’t provide an answer. “Here, I’ll help you,” He reached out for Koutarou’s hand. The pup flinched away, but let him pull him out of the hospital bed. Quickly getting him changed turned into tears from the pup. Who, afterward, went back under the covers of the hospital bed to hide from them both. Hana came in shortly afterward trying to help them calm the pup down. Once Koutarou was able to stop crying Hana gave them the rundown.

“After this week we’ll send someone over to check on him. He’ll need to take these medications, he needs a lot of rest in the state he has. So we have provided you with the medication. The system recommends therapy with the situation he’s been through. We also suggest not admitting him into school right away. He needs some time to adjust. Um…. Last thing, he’ll have to come in at the end of the week to have a check up.” Hana looked up from her clipboard and gave them both a smile. “Thank you for coming and getting him, I was worried.” Koutarou wiped his eyes, sitting cross legged on the end of the bed. Ittetsu stood next to him.

“I’m glad we came.” Keishin said. Keishin had been nervous the moment he set foot in the hospital. Scared of how Ittetsu would react most likely. Ittetsu was just trying to get out of their as fast as he could. Hana was trying to as well. She knew how he was around hospital since then.

“So with that, I can get you all out of here then.” They all nodded in relief. Koutarou whimpered as he tried to get off of the bed. They all looked toward him.

“I can carry you to the car Koutarou.” The pup whimpered again as he put his whole weight on his legs. He took a step and began to cry again, falling forward into Ittetsu’s arms. His whole body stiffened. Ittetsu decided that even if he didn’t want to be touched by anybody right now he was going to have to be carried to the car. He couldn’t walk straight with his injuries. Hana looked at them sadly. Ittetsu lifted the pup up in his arms. It felt strange. He’d never gotten the chance to hold his child. His breasts were still enlarged his stomach a bit puffy from before. It felt right to him. Holding Koutarou against his chest. Something in him warmed and he held on a little tighter, a little more secure. Koutarou’s tears lessened. His instincts were in overdrive to protect the pup as much as he could. Still high on his from pregnancy it was like a wave washed over him. The grief was still there, but his restlessness to nurture was like a wave of relief passing over him. He pressed his head against the pups and let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. The pup stopped squirming, but still hiccupped. But instead of doing it away from him, he was actively holding on to Ittetsu, letting his tears fall and his hiccups come into his chest. Ittetsu looked up to Hana’s soft smiling features, and Keishin’s awkward stare. “Okay, let’s go.”

-oOo-

Koutarou hadn’t let go of Ittetsu since he was first picked up. Keishin had ended up sleeping alone because of Ittetsu letting Koutarou cling to him as he slept. It was good for the both of them. Keishin realized. He had been with Ittetsu when it happened. In fact it was at volleyball practice. They were seven months into his pregnancy when he miscarried. It had been so easy up until then. So happy. Everything had happened like it was supposed to and then he miscarried. The scar on his stomach from when they had to take their child away was still healing, still bandaged. Keishin had to wake up in the middle of the night to hold him as he cried. It was hard. Mourning the loss of a pup you never got to meet. It hurt. But he had seen the way Ittetsu had taken to Koutarou, He could smell the omegan nurturing scent throughout the entire house. It hadn’t smelled this sweet and calm since before.

When Keishin woke up the next morning he found Koutarou nested in on the couch. Ittetsu was cooking in the kitchen. It made him smile. The pup was fast asleep on the couch, dozens of pillows and blankets. His tiny hands were under his face and his mouth was open. Keishin had to look away to contain his joy, the pup was adorable. He walked toward the kitchen to find his husband. He wandered up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and scenting him. Ittetsu hummed and melted into the touch. “You’ve been nesting.” He said.

“Maybe.” He said back, his cheeks flushing. “I just wanted him to feel safe, I thought the blankets would be a good idea.”

“They are. He’s really adorable isn’t he?” Keishin said, letting go of his husband and walking over to the table. Ittetsu smiled and nodded.

“I think- I -  I thought it would be hard but I feel like what I’ve lost has come back to me. I- I don’t know. It’s silly, it doesn’t replace our pup, but I don’t feel so sad. It’s like that warmth I never got to hold finally came,” Keishin nodded. “H-How about you?”

“I don’t know. It’s been harder for you it seems. Not to say it hasn’t been hard. But, I guess I just didn’t know what to do after. I like having a pup around, I think it’s good. I think it’s what we need. I think it’s what you need,” They paused briefly, Ittetsu sniffled a little, his eyes watery. “That begs the question if we’re going to keep him.”

“It’s too early for me to think about that. We’ve had him for a night. Let’s just see how things go. Hana wants him to be safe. He can be safe with us,” And at that Ittetsu’s entire body stiffened at the wail that came from the living room. Ittetsu dropped the spatula on the counter and rushed to the living room. Koutarou was sitting up on the couch looking around desperately. His eyes were red and streaming with tears. Once he caught site of Ittetsu he lifted his arms up for him. Keishin guessed he must have been confused to where he was. And where was the omega he had bonded with. Ittetsu sat next to him on the couch, and helped adjust him so he could scent Ittetsu if he needed. He was gripping at the clothes on his back. He must be in pain, Ittetsu was being very careful every time he moved him. “You’re alright. I’m here, you’re here. We are all alright.” He said softly. Keishin peeked around the corner. He had been briefed about the pups distress around alpha’s and he didn’t want to make his panic worse right now. He didn’t blame the pup. With the stuff they had found out he could understand. His father was a terrible man. Ittetsu came out from the living room with Koutarou swaddled up in his arms. He went back to cooking breakfast while Koutarou clung to him for dear life.

“Is he okay?” Keishin asked.

“Just shaken up. You’ll be okay, right Koutarou?” The pup didn’t respond, but gripped tighter to Ittetsu. “Bad dream.” Ittetsu explained. “The doctor said he could only eat soft things for now, right?” Keishin nodded. “Okay. I’ll make something different for him then.”

-oOo-

After breakfast they took Koutarou out to get some clothes and toys and a tooth brush. Which went well for the first five minutes. But after a while of being carried around he began to cry from the pain. Ittetsu noticed the blood soaking through his pants and decided to have Keishin pay while they waited in the car. They at least got some clothes. They could save the toy shopping for later. When they got back to the house Keishin had to go to the school and to afternoon practice. He could get away with canceling morning practice but afternoon as well would cause him to have a gang of angry and intense teenagers knocking on the door to his house. So he left not much later. Ittetsu was left alone with Koutarou. They nested themselves on the couch. Koutarou had taken a liking to a fuzzy grey blanket that Ittetsu had swaddled him in. Koutarou held his hand as they watched a Disney movie. Ittetsu thought it would held him calm down after going to the store. “How are doing, Koutarou? Does anything hurt?” They had informed him that he could give him some pain extra pain killers if he said he needed them.

It was a small voice, raspy and high pitched. “yes, sir,” He didn’t know where the ‘sir’ came from but he seemed scared.

“Where do you hurt?” Ittetsu asked. Trying to get the pup to speak again.

“My butt.” He whispered even quieter.

“Does it hurt really bad?”

“Yes, sir.” Ittetsu nodded. And got up from the blankets. Koutarou whined as he did so.

“I’m just going to get something that will make the pain stop, I’ll be right back okay?” Koutarou nodded and snuggled under the blankets more. He smiled and quickly got the pain killers from the bag they came in. “Okay, I need you to swallow this, but don’t chew it. Can you do that?” Koutarou nodded and took the sippy cup from Ittetsu’s hands. “Put the pill in your mouth, and then take a drink of water.” Koutarou did so. But he kept drinking the water. He must have been thirsty. He thought he would have said something if he was that thirsty. The thought occurred to him. “Are you hungry?” He asked. Koutarou nodded and tucked himself under the blankets more. “Do you need to go to the bathroom?” He asked again. Another nod. “Okay. I’ll help you up then.” Koutarou nuzzled into the touch.

“I like you.” He whispered. Ittetsu’s heart swelled and a huge grin spread across his face. He was liked by a pup.


	3. Shoelaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koutarou goes out and gets a bath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short but it was ready to be posted so here!

Ittetsu had brought Koutarou to work. Snuggling him up in an unused office chair. Blankets and a pillow and a stuffed animal. If he wanted to nap he could. But instead Koutarou spent the first two hours hugging onto him in his lap. Ittetsu guessed that it was all of the alphas. The school was understanding enough, letting Ittetsu miss so much work after his miscarriage, they also said Koutarou could come in with him as much as he needed. After Keishin had come in and shared lunch with them both, he went into the office chair. Hiding most of his body under the blanket. He flapped his hands and hummed quietly, looking around the room. Just observing. Ittetsu had brought crayons and a coloring book. Which after he settled into being on his own, he happily colored in. All blue. It was not thirty minutes later that Koutarou had shown him a picture of a fat cat in a garden where he had made the entire page blue. The pup looked at him with a sloppy grin and giggled. Pride. That was all Ittetsu was able to see on his face. Koutarou pushed it towards him. Ittetsu took it, looked at it with a face that said scholar, joking of course, and then smiled approvingly at the pup.

 

Koutarou hid his face in his hands and giggled, his cheeks flushing a wild cherry color. Sweet. Ittetsu thought. “Takeda? You’re back at work?” Ittetsu swiveled in his chair and looked at the puzzled expression of Asahi.

 

“Oh,” Ittetsu set the drawing down on the desk. Koutarou was cowering under his blanket. “Hello, Asahi! Yes. I’ve come back.” He smiled. Asahi looked between the pup and the Omega. Oh yeah. Ittetsu thought. “This is Bokuto Koutarou, Koutarou, Azumane Asahi.”

 

Asahi waved, his puzzled grin replaced with a kindly one. Koutarou’s eyes teared and he hid underneath the blanket. He hadn’t shown this much of a reaction to alpha’s. maybe it was Asahi’s scent. Or stature. Something Ittetsu hadn’t noticed? Asahi stepped back at the scent of fear. “Sorry!” Asahi quickly said.

 

“No! No, it’s alright. Koutarou just came out of a very bad situation. It’s not your fault. Keishin and I are fostering him.” Asahi made an ‘o’ expression and nodded. Koutarou scooted his chair closer to Ittetsu’s by pulling it along the desk. He made frantic little whimpers as Asahi continued to stand. “Did you need me for anything?” He asked as Koutarou made a pained sound while crawling onto his lap. Ittetsu sighed. He was still in pain. He’d have to check if there was more blood again.

 

Asahi shook his head and looked towards the desk in the corner. “Sorry i just came in to pick up some missing work.” Ittetsu cradled Koutarou in his arms as he tried to hide. He planted a kiss to the top of his head and released a calming scent around him, trying to get him to relax. “Are you coming back to practice?” He asked.

 

“Yeah, i was going to come in next week. I need to bring Koutarou with me though.” Koutarou’s whimpers stopped but the shaking didn’t.

 

“Well, everyone’s looking forward to having you back.” He had missed around three weeks of work. Recovering. He planned to come into work monday but with Koutarou he decided to take a couple more days. Everyone was very understanding. It was a tragedy what had happened. Keishin hadn’t dealt with it completely yet. Ittetsu knew that. It was a hard thing. Hard thing for Ittetsu as well. Asahi and the whole team were very nice to him.

 

“That means a lot. Thank you Asahi.” Asahi nodded and left. Koutarou stopped shaking. The scent calming him, and the fear dwindling. “Are you okay?” He asked. Koutarou whined. “Does your butt hurt? Anything hurt?” He asked again. Koutarou nodded. “Do you want to go back to the house?” Koutarou nodded again. “Okay. We’ll go back. Are you hungry? Need to go to the bathroom?” He asked. Koutarou shook his head. “Do you want to be carried? Does it hurt?” Koutarou nodded again. Ittetsu kissed the top of his head again and stood up. He wouldn’t need to bring home most of his stuff. He could leave the coloring book there for tomorrow. They had plenty at home. Koutarou squeaked when his hips were moved. He started to cry. Ittetsu looked and sure enough he saw a little blood on his pants. He held Koutarou closer. “We’ll get you some pain killers when we’re home. Does a bath sound nice?” Koutarou had refused to take a bath for the past two days. Leaving Ittetsu to try and clean the blood and stressed sweat and scent of fear off by a wet rag. In fact The hospital had been the only place Koutarou had been cleaned last. Ittetsu didn’t know if he knew how to clean himself or wanted too, or could wash his hair. He didn’t know, he didn’t raise him. Koutarou didn’t answer his question. Ittetsu let it go and excused himself from his work.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


He had gotten Koutarou in the bath. When ittetsu tried to leave Koutarou to himself the pup started to scream. He quickly rushed back in to make sure he was alright. He was crying again. Ittetsu sat himself on the little stairs used for Koutarou to reach the sink. “Do you need help?” He asked. Koutarou shook his head and brought his knees up to his chest. “Can you wash yourself?” Koutarou shook his head and started to rock. “Can i help you?” Koutarou looked up at him, and then down at his toes. He nodded, the tears still trickling down his face. Ittetsu grabbed the soap. “Can i touch your arms?” Koutarou looked confused, he nodded. Ittetsu washed his arms, Koutarou’s fear scent lessened a bit. “Can i touch your back?” Koutarou looked even more confused but nodded again. Ittetsu washed his back. “Can i touch your stomach?” Koutarou stilled. “You don’t want me to wash your stomach? You can say no.” Koutarou shook his head. “Okay. Can i wash your legs?” Koutarou shook his head, it was very small. Very scared. “How about your feet?” Koutarou nodded and so ittetsu washed his feet. “Can i wash your hair?” Koutarou nodded. So he filled up a plastic cup full of water and poured it over Koutarou’s head. Koutarou quickly changed his demeanor. Ittetsu barely had time to react. Gasping for air. He was crying and gasping and clambered up into the corner of the tub. He pulled his knees up tighter and gasped. Hyperventilating and looking around frantically. The change was so sudden, he couldn’t make sure Koutarou didn’t scarmble to far away and hurt himself. His own anxiety probably wasn’t helping the pup calm down. 

 

“Koutarou. It’s okay. You are okay. It’s me Ittetsu. Okay. You're okay.” He quickly grabbed the hand towel and handed it to Koutarou, he didn’t want to touch him less it triggered an even more fearful response.  Koutarou didn’t take it. He instead batted it away while crying. “Koutarou. Let’s get you out of the bath. Can you stand up for me? I have a towel for you.” Koutarou shook. His entire body was on an overdose of fear. The smell reaked, it was sour and rotten and terrifying. Koutarou screamed, shocking Ittetsu out of his thoughts. He grabbed the towel from the rack and quickly picked up Koutarou with it, holding his head against his neck. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re okay. You’re okay. No need to fear. You don’t have to be in the bath any more. It’s okay. You’re alright.” He said as he rocked side to side. Trying to get Koutarou to calm down from his sobbing. “You’re gonna get dry. I won’t hurt you. Nobody will hurt you.” He could feel Koutarou squirming in his arms. HE didn’t want to force him to have any contact so he let him go. The pup laid down on the floor with his hands over his head and facing the floor. He sobbed and screamed. Ittetsu didn’t know what to do other than try and talk him through it. Ittetsu got down and sat on the floor next to him. He laid down and hoped his calming scent wouldn’t startle him. “Koutarou. Can you talk right now?” The boy cried and and shook, his scent was depressing. “You didn’t like the water in your face did you?” Koutarou didn’t say anything. “But it’s okay. You’re dry. You’re safe. Nothing bad will happen to you.” Koutarou sobbed harder. Ittetsu sighed. “I’m going to lay on the floor. I won’t move if you don’t want me to. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to. I won’t talk if you don’t want me to. But i’ll be right here. You can cry.” Koutarou pulled the towel closer around him.

 

They stayed that way for at least fifteen minutes before Koutarou’s crying lessened. Ittetsu stayed on the floor. Not doing anything. He had actually closed his eyes. The only reason he opened them was because he felt small hands crawling their on top of him. Koutarou’s red and tear stained face fell against his neck. “Hey,” He said softly. “How are you doing?”

 

“I want clothes.” He said as he stuttered. Koutarou was using the towel to cover as much as he could of himself.

 

“Of course. Do you want to go to bed after?” Koutarou shook his head and sobbed. “Okay.” He carefully picked them both up and took them out of the bathroom. Keishin was waiting by the door. Koutarou sobbed and clawed at Ittetsu’s back.

 

“Are you okay Koutarou?” Keishin looked on edge. Anxious alpha smell permeated the hall. It was probably the source of Koutarou’s flare in sobs.

 

“He got scared by water on his face. Calm down Keishin. Everything's alright.” Keishin nodded and gulped. Ittetsu knew it was getting hard for him to stay away since Koutarou was still so scared of him.

 

“I’m going to bed after a shower. I love you.” He said, sidestepping to get through the door. Ittetsu reached out and pecked a kiss on his cheek.

  
“Love you too.”


	4. Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto goes to practice. And finds comfort in a member of the team.  
> Keishin exists finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....i forgot what i needed to warn you of in this?? If you want me to start putting some TW in the notes feel free to point out what you think needs to be mentioned. i don't want anyone to feel unsafe.
> 
> Anyways. i'm glad i'm posting this chapter.  
> I want to get political because after what happened last night i no longer feel safe in my own country. This will most likely come in waves. 
> 
> The emotional state i am in because of this countries mortifying decision has left me close to distraught. I am gay and disabled and mentally ill. in no way am i safe right now and i really want to get that across to you. thank you for reading this. it's helping me through an emotional time. 
> 
> Sorry to ramble about oething off topic. I just want everyone who is feeling like shit right now to know that we can make it through this and that there are a lot of people rooting for you and who will protect you.

The hospital visit had not gone as smoothly as Ittetsu had hoped. Bokuto had to start taking supplements to try and combat malnutrition. It was a full day with an appointment with every type of doctor Ittetsu had and hadn’t ever heard of. The child psychologist recommended coming back for other possible diagnosis. She said it was likely he was behind his peers in school. They would have to go to the hospital twice a week for tests and therapy and physical therapy. There was some underdeveloped muscle and some back problems that Ittetsu wish he didn’t know the details of how Koutarou had gotten them. They had to do a lot of calming down and a lot of breaks in between, there was only on major meltdown and it was during an examination for his back. The nurse was an Alpha and hadn’t been briefed on the specific case. Koutarou had freezed up when he was touched and as soon as the alpha was done with his examination Koutarou fell off the table and started to scream while hiding under a chair. The doctor eventually came in, an omega, and was able to help Ittetsu calm him down. 

 

It was now monday and Ittetsu finally went to practice. The early morning was easy for Koutarou to wake up to. Ittetsu made sure he had no problem getting dressed, he had put on a blue owl shirt that he kept looking at with a giant smile. When they got to the school the pup wouldn’t allow Ittetsu to put him down. Everyone stared at them when he came in. Koutarou hid his face in his neck after a quick peek and scent of the air. He whimpered and balled Ittetsu’s shirt in his hands. Asahi waved gently. “I’m back!” Ittetsu said. He got a big happy greeting from the team who walked quickly forward to the pup he was holding in his arms. “This is Bokuto Koutarou. We’re fostering him. I hope you don’t mind that i brought him.”

 

“Of course not.” Sugawara said from his left.

 

“How old are you Bokuto?” Nishinoya asked. Ittetsu turned him around in his arms. Koutarou covered his face and hummed.

 

“He just turned six.” Nishinoya looked up at him and then back down at the pup. His face light up when he saw the shirt Koutarou was wearing.

 

“I like your shirt Bokuto.” Koutarou uncovered his face, Squeaked and then went back to hiding in Ittetsu’s chest. Nishinoya looked confused.

 

“He hasn’t been able to talk to most people yet. Koutarou came from a bad situation.” He ran his hand through Koutarou’s hair and he heard him quietly purr. It made him happy that Koutarou was comfortable enough to express his happiness. Sugawara clutched at his chest and smiled wide. “Koutarou do you want to say hi real quick? Meet everyone?” Koutarou turned around and looked at everyone for a long time and then looked up at Ittetsu. “Yeah? Okay. uh..”

 

“I’m Sugawara Koushi, this is Sawamura Daichi, That’s Asahi Azumane, Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Ni-”

 

“Nishinoya Yuu!” Sugawara pointed at each of them.

 

“And that’s Hinata Shouyou, and Kageyama Tobio, Ennoshita Chikara, Tsukishima Kei and Kinoshita Hisahi, Narita Kazuhito, and then Yamagushi Tadashi.” Koutarou stared at Sugawara dazed, and then he looked around the cluster of boys. He took a look at Nishinoya and pointed, he looked up at Ittetsu, and pointed again.

 

“That’s Nishinoya.” Koutarou pointed again. Nishinoya looked at him with a confused, lopsided smile. Koutarou pointed again more urgently. He grabbed at his hair and then pointed at Nishinoya again. “I don’t understand.” Koutarou reached up and tugged on Ittetsu’s hair. “Ow” He said and then noticed Koutarou pointing at Nishinoya again. His lip pouted. “OH! Oh, you want to know why his hair is two different colors?” Koutarou nodded vigorously and stared at Nishinoya. Who had the biggest grin on his face. He elbowed tanaka and ran a hand through his hair proudly.

 

“I dyed it,” He said and twirled the light tuft in the front. “Do you like it?” Koutarou nodded and grabbed at his own hair. “You can dye your too! Whatever color you want!” Koutarou’s jaw dropped. He looked absolutely stunned. Ittetsu had to put his face in his shoulder to hide the snort that escaped his mouth. The team did the same. All except for Nishinoya and Hinata. “What color is your favorite?” Nishinoya asked. Koutarou blinked a few times and then pointed at his shirt. “Blue? That’s a great color!” Koutarou beamed. Then blushed. And then shoved his face into Ittetsu’s shirt while giggling. Nishinoya’s expression turned fond. Keishin blew the whistle and the team turned their attention towards him. Ittetsu quietly walked over to the bench and sat down. 

 

Practice went well for thirty minutes before Koutarou started to shake. The scent of fear was making it’s way through the gym, heads turned every once in awhile to see if Koutarou was okay but mostly they remained on task. Ittestu guessed that it was the scent of alpha, which often overpowered the gym in a way that had been so bad at one point during Sugawara’s heat that he had passed out while on his suppressants. It was almost funny if it hadn’t been so terrifying. Koutarou, he could hear, was sniffeling. He hadn’t left Ittetsu’s arms since they got there and now he was trying to hide himself under his shirt. He had taken off his jacket and placed it over his head, which seemed to calm him somewhat but he was still whimpering softly. Thankfully practice ended not to long after that and he was able to rush out and get Koutarou outside. He sat on the small cement wall in front of the grass. Koutarou had been placed down on the ground and now Ittetsu was watching him. He was calming down, But it was different. He was sitting on the grass, flapping his hands and rocking from side to side. HE closed his eyes tightly, his face all scrunched up. “Do you need anything?” ittetsu asked as he watched. Koutarou shook his head furiously. Tanaka and Nishinoya walked out of the gym together laughing, the sound seemed to frighten Koutarou and he squeaked and sat up quickly. Ittetsu noticed the pups hands quickly grab his butt and the tears started to fall. Fear came by in a cloud and the two beta’s turned to look at the two of them. Ittetsu hopped off of the cement wall and quickly walked over to the pup who was crying and not moving from his spot at all. “Koutarou, can you sit down on my lap for me?” Koutarou didn’t move, continued to cry. Tanaka and Nishinoya were watching timidly from the walkway. “No one's gonna hurt you, you’re safe. And it won’t hurt as much if you sit down. I can get you something to make it hurt less okay?” Ittetsu held out his arms for Koutarou to take to sit down but Koutarou still didn’t move. Koutarou wailed and shook his head. He just needed to sit down or lay down for a second so he could relax, get out of his panic attack.

 

“Takeda? Do you need us to help?” Nishinoya suddenly asked from a few feet away. Ittetsu looked up and then back at Koutarou.

 

Ittetsu gulped and paused. Koutarou had cried and had panic attacks all week. He should be expecting this preparing for this. But every time it broke his heart. Everytime he freaked out almost as much. He just needed something soft. “Um, yeah. Can you get the bottle of pills in my bag? It’s - it’s in the front pocket.” He nodded running towards his bag by the wall. Ittetsu took off his jacket. If he could sit down on this maybe he could calm down. Koutarou watched as he placed the folded up jacket on the ground. “Koutarou can you sit on this please?” He asked. His voice coming out slightly raspy. He really didn’t want to cry. He didn’t know why now was the time he was about instead of all the other times. Koutarou sobbed and looked him in the eye “Please.” maybe it was that he had actually gotten a little red and teary eyed himself that Koutarou decided to sit down, or maybe it was just because it had hurt long enough for him, either way he laid down on his side. 

 

“Here,” He heard the bottle being held out for him beside his ear. He turned and took it.

 

“Thank you.” Nishinoya pulled back and wrung his hands nervously. Tanaka watched from a few extra feet away. “Koutarou, can you take this for me? Like we do in the mornings?” The pup shook, curled up on the jacket. “It will help, I promise,” Ittetsu gently placed the small pill in the pups open hand, Ittetsu held his water bottle in his hand. “Okay now drink.” Koutarou did as he was told, but continued to cry.

 

“What happened?” Nishinoya asked. Ittetsu rubbed the palms of his hands into his eyes.

 

“Panic attack, flashback. It’s fine. I-I don’t want you to be late for class. But thank you both.” Tanaka stepped over.

 

“You sure you don’t need anymore help?” Ittetsu nodded and he heard them both walk away. Koutarou shivered on the blanket. Ittetsu reached out slowly.

 

“Koutarou, how are you doing, hun?” Koutarou grabbed Ittetsu’s hand and snuggled into it. He whined and pulled on it. His face was as red as a lobster, all snotty and tear faced. “You got real scared there, huh. But it’s okay, because their isn’t anything to be afraid of anymore. I’m here.” Ittetsu placed his left hand on his chest. He smiled calmly at the pup. The breeze blew through his hair and made it rustle. Koutarou watched it spiral in the wind, for some reason it calmed him a bit. “Do you need to go to the restroom?” Koutarou didn’t answer. Ittetsu watch as he lifted his left hand straight in the air. The wind blew by again and he gave a small smile. Ittetsu wasn’t expecting him to bring down his hand again and lick his whole palm. He let out a wail of a laugh when he did so and lifted it back up into the air. The wind came by again. Koutarou made an ‘o’ with his mouth and giggled. Ittetsu smiled brightly as he laughed at his pup. “Koutarou you are a silly boy. Let’s go wash your hand, hun.”

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Keishin watched from the kitchen as Koutarou attempted to play monopoly. He held his coffee in one hand and his cellphone in the other. He was a having a hard time figuring out how he was feeling about this. He should be happy, sympathetic, angry, or sad, pitying. But instead he was left with a cluster of emotions he couldn’t decipher. He hadn’t talk to Ittetsu very much about what had happened. The miscarriage was so late into term they weren’t expecting it, weren’t prepared. He had barely even started mourning the loss of his child and now a new pup was here. A wonderful pup who needed his help, and his love, and patience. And he just didn’t feel like he could give that to him right now. He tried to push himself to feel something, but he couldn’t. He did care. He did care about Koutarou, deeply, but he didn’t know how to express that. Or even feel that. It felt so wrong to care about someone new when he didn’t even have the chance to care for his own child. This was helping Ittetsu, but he didn’t know what it was doing to him. He hadn’t cried. He had ignored it. That was why Ittetsu had started going to therapy. Why he had brought up divorce one night at dinner. He couldn’t say anything other than ‘okay’. He never wanted Ittetsu to leave him. Never, he LOVED him. More than anything. But he just couldn't process all that was happening. And he felt selfish.

 

He tapped the mug with his pinky finger and tried to hold in his sigh. Hana was just a call away. But he couldn’t do that, he wouldn’t do that. He drank his coffee and turned to his jacket on the chair. “Hey, love? I’m going to head out. You both ready?” Ittetsu quickly packed everything into the game box. They all left the small house.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Koushi gave his usual good morning greeting to Bokuto on Friday. The pup was walking in timidly, while holding Takeda’s hand. Koushi smiled and waved. “Good morning, Bokuto. Did you have a good day yesterday?” He hadn’t come to afternoon practice, neither did Takeda. Keishin had looked concerned and stressed the entire practice. Making them do extra warming up before they actually got to practicing. The whole team was still sore from it. Throughout the week Bokuto had been warming up slightly. Able to sit beside Takeda instead of on his lap. He looked to be really into the game too. Maybe they’d have their own little cheerleader for their next practice match.

 

Bokuto stopped walking and waved back. A beaming smile on his face as he used his other hand to yank down on the hem of his shirt. Takeda grinned proudly at his pup. Bokuto grabbed Takeda’s hand again and dragged him closer to Koushi. “You had a good day then?” Koushi asked again. Bokuto looked between the two of them. It was the first time Koushi was around the pup without the lingering scent of anxiety and or fear. It was nice. Bokuto clapped his hands together and then reached up and pulled on Koushi’s shirt. He understood and crouched down to his height. He wasn’t expecting, though, that the shy pup would cup his hands around Koushi’s ear and whisper his response. “Little gave me ice cream.”

 

Koushi locked eyes with Takeda, who had his mouth dropped open in awe. Bokuto took a step back and clapped his hands. Takeda quickly composed his disbelief when Bokuto looked up at him in glee. Bokuto hung onto Takeda’s hand, momentarily making the older omega stumble. Koushi decided he should probably respond if they wanted to encourage the pup to start talking. He shut his mouth. Mouth breathing should not be encouraged. “That sounds awesome! Do you like ice cream?” Bokuto nodded enthusiastically. Maybe it was weirder that even though Bokuto had said ‘little’ instead of Takeda or whatever other normal title foster kids use, he understood. And it struck him that Bokuto probably hadn’t been told a lot of things about alpha’s and omega’s, or maybe the opposite. He was told lies. It made sense. Koushi tired to keep his concern from clouding him. For all he knew, he was the second person Bokuto had talked to since he was taken in, or since… since whenever whatever had happened. God, was he sweating? Why was this making him so anxious?

 

“Koutarou, do you think you can sit on the bench for a second, while I talk to Sugawara here?” Bokuto looked hesitantly at the bench, and then back at the two of them. His breathing picked up, and Koushi remembered the scent of the pup in a tremendous amount of fear. But it wasn’t there yet. At least. “Would you like it if someone sat with you on the bench?” Bokuto put the tips of his finger in his mouth as his eyes darted around. He whimpered. “It will be like a challenge. A game. Would that be okay? Just for a second?” Bokuto slowly nodded. Takeda looked up from his pup, who was now wrapping his arms around Takeda’s hips. “Tsukishima?” Takeda called. “Do you think you could sit with Bokuto for a second?” Tsukishima looked up. The confusion fleeting across his face. He looked at the pup. It was actually the most genuine of a smile he had seen on the guy. He nodded. Bokuto’s anxiety made it’s way passed him. It may have been instinct but the rest of the omega’s in the gym immediately started releasing a calming scent. It was strange how quickly accustomed that had become. Tsukishima walked over to the pup and held out his hand. Bokuto leaned away with a grimace. He looked up at Takeda. And then he let go and hesitantly walked behind Tsukishima towards the bench. He sat down and flapped his hands anxiously as he watched the two of them. Tsukishima didn’t sit too close or too far away. Takeda watched them and turned toward Koushi again. “Did he call me a little?” Koushi was taken aback momentarily. He nodded.

 

“I’m sorry if that was weird. We were briefed about his family. His dad had really backwards values. He only calls Keishin big. And me little. I’m trying to help but it’s difficult. He doesn’t understand why that can make people uncomfortable. Sorry if I‘m rambling. But that was really amazing. He hasn’t talked to anyone but me since we got him.” Takeda rambled on awkwardly. He didn’t need to apologize.

 

“No, no, it’s okay. I understand.” Koushi paused. “Has he really not talked to anyone but you?” Takeda nodded.

 

“Keishin still scares him. Thank you Sugawara though. I’m glad he’s taken a liking to you.” Koushi smiled and nodded.

 

“I’m glad too!” Takeda looked over at an increasingly worried Bokuto. His lips were pouting and his eyes were getting teary. Takeda pointed in his direction before running off to fetch him. The whistle blew.


	5. Crayons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga likes his dress and his boyfriend  
> Koutarou likes Tsukishima  
> The tooth fairy can not get your tooth from inside your stomach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like. A little more upbeat i guess?

Koushi stood in front of the mirror. Mesmerized. The dress fit him perfectly. Outlining his hips in the omegan hourglass shape he always wanted. The flowers tracing up from the skirt and towards the bust. The slight rounding around his breasts, outlining his pre-heat form. The white straps bunching to make frills at his shoulders. It was so soft against his skin. He almost started to cry. Hands encircled his waist as he stared at himself. Scenting at his neck, he tilted his head to allow it. He hummed, and put his hands over Daichi’s. His boyfriend kissed and nibbled on his neck. Koushi giggeld. He caught Daichi’s chin and pulled him in for a proper kiss. They parted. Koushi’s eyes still partially closed. “Do you like it?” Koushi pressed his head in the crook of his shoulder and just breathed.

 

“I love it.” He whispered, and bit Daichi’s ear. He had always wanted to wear a dress. His dad was old and bitter. Male omega’s were a mistake. That was what he had said to him all of his life. He used to sneak into his parents room and try on his mother’s gowns when she was alive. But she died when he was nine. Daichi had bought him one. With his own money. A beautiful white spring dress. It meant so much more than what others knew. Most male omega’s had to fight to be seen as masculine, but he had to fight just to be. Daichi’s hands trailed down his back and got dangerously close to grabbing his ass. He laughed. The arousal was just enough that he could smell it.

 

“Do you want to wear it outside?” Koushi stilled. He hadn’t been expecting that. That that was what they were going to do. Daichi leaned back. “Is something the matter?”

 

“Daichi, I- I don’t think that’s a good idea. You know how my dad is, and if anyone see’s me he might find out. I can’t - You know I can’t do that. Not yet anyways.”

 

“Wait wait wait. Koushi, no one is going to judge you. It was just going to be you, me, Asahi, Noya, Tanaka, and Ennoshita. Okay? We rented a room. And everyone wants to see you. In this new dress, being yourself.” Koushi bit his lip. He’s never done that before. What if- what if something bad happens. He worried, the happy scent diminishing as he started to stress. There was a kiss on his forehead that startled him. “Koushi, calm down. You don’t have to. I don’t want to make you do anything you wouldn’t want to.” There was another kiss to the top of his head.

 

“I’ll go. I’ll go. I’m just a little nervous. I’ve never done this before and. All the other omega’s hide it when they are approaching their heat and I’m all curvy and I-”

 

“Koushi,” He looked into his boyfriend's eyes. The hard as rock but soft as silk being he was. Always engulfing him with love and adoration. “Don’t hide. You’re perfect. Fuck what anyone else thinks.” And there was that lopsided grin. He shoved his face in Daichi’s chest and breathed in and out.

 

“Okay,” He said. “One more kiss?” Daichi huffed a laugh.

 

“Ten thousand more!” Koushi yelped as he was lifted into the air and his stomach was littered with kisses, even over his dress. He laughed, loud, bubbly, and high pitched. After being spun he was set down, and Daichi leaned in for one more on the lips. Koushi felt bad because the spring always made him so chapped. Daichi gripped his hair and deepened briefly. Pulling away and grabbing both his hands. “Ready to go?” Koushi chortled adoringly. Lovesick as he was pulled out of the room, and out of the house.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Keishin sat at his post that night, reading a magazine and sipping on some ginger ale as the radio played. It was mostly quiet after this hour, even still he heard the loud laughter of kids in the street. He only looked up when the tiny bell above his door rang. The spiked up hair of his shortest player, and the bun of his tallest opened the door. A group behind them filing in. They were all smiling and laughing brightly as they entered. Keishin grinned when he saw Sugawara held in Sawamura’s arms, bright white dress on display for the whole town to see. Bout time that kid stopped being so ashamed of himself. He chortled and set his magazine down. “What are you boys doing up this late? You’ve got practice tomorrow morning.” They all looked at him. Their laughs dying down. Nishinoya was smiling so wide his eyes were practically closed. Sugawara blushed. Subconsciously hiding behind Daichi.

 

“Oh come on, it’s at noon! We’ve got time. And look how pretty Suga looks!” Tanaka held out his hands, both framing the setter. Sugawara blushed deeper. Daichi was hiding his laughter behind his hand. “We have to celebrate this! I mean come on!”

 

Sugawara spluttered and jumped towards Tanaka, “Stop it!” He said, holding up his hands as he tried to look fierce enough to get Tanaka to back down. Instead he just laughed more. He put his arm around Nishinoya and scrunched his face up.

 

“Yeah! We have to celebrate! I mean look at him Ukai! Look at him! I couldn’t pull that off. Asahi could though.” Asahi panicked as Nishinoya sent him a wink. He made a pathetic sound of distress when Nishinoya punched him in the arm. “You could!” Sugawara now had his hands over his face. Keishin laughed and waved his hands at them.

 

“Whatever, just don’t be too loud.” The team looked up towards the ceiling. Nishinoya walked up to the counter and placed a meat bun and a soda on it.

 

“How’s Bokuto doing?” He inquired. Keishin shrugged. They were still trying to figure everything out with him. It had only been two weeks. “Because if you need any help. My parents foster. So…” The rest of the team walked around the store. He could see Daichi peck Sugawara on the cheek when he thought Keishin wasn’t looking.

 

“He’s.. It’s… It’s been difficult.” Nishinoya nodded and placed some money on the counter for him.

 

“I saw him in the yard a couple days ago. What happened to him? We had someone pass through our house who remembered what had happened to them. They were older. He beat up my brother so he had to leave but it’s still hard.” Keishi nodded solemnly.

 

“His parents died of an overdose. They found him alive in the car, right before it fell off the ledge. He’s lucky to be alive.” Nishinoya nodded, and took his change. He popped the can open and sipped.

 

“His dad hit him? Is that why he’s scared of alpha’s?” Keishin nodded.

 

“Yeah and….and, well i probably shouldn’t be talking about it.” Keishin snapped himself out of it. That was private. 

 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to. It’s just that maybe i could help. I have a lot of siblings who were scared of alpha’s too when they first came in. I mean i’m not an expert but i could baby sit if you ever need it. I do it all the time with my siblings.” Keishin thought. He shouldn’t be confiding in a teenager. But he sighed and let himself talk anyways.

 

“From what we’ve seen, and what the hospital told us… He was raped by his father. Doesn’t seem like it was just a one time thing either.” Keishin felt the rage bubble inside him. “They found god damn pictures of it. I’m glad the garbage is dead.” He saw Nishinoya’s hands tighten around the glass on the counter. His face was contorted into a snarl.

 

“I hate humanity.” He growled. Keishin wished he hadn’t told. “My sister. Same thing. She’s my age now. Doesn’t remember any of it. Still…” He drank from his soda and planted it down hard on the table. There was a small yelp. They both turned and saw Koutarou peering through the door. Nishinoya’s demeanor immediately changed. He put on his biggest grin and made himself not appear big, even with how short he was Koutarou had been wary of him. “Hey!” He whisper shouted. Koutarou let the door creak open. Showing the stairs to house. You could hear his breathing pick up. He looked around frantically and spotted Sugawara on the other end of the store. He flapped his hands and looked desperately over in his direction. The rest of the team was looking at him now. Sugawara took steps forward in his direction

 

“Hey, Bokuto. Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Koutarou looked at Keishin and then back at Sugawara.

 

“Alpha?” He asked the room. He went into a whisper. “Is Alpha here?” He took a step back. Suga knelt down to his height. “It sounded scary.” He said. This was the most he had ever heard Koutarou talk. Evidently, the rest of the room had the same reaction.

 

“No Alpha, just the team. And we are having fun.” Nishinoya said from the desk.

 

“Do you want to go find Ittetsu, Kou?” Keishin asked. Koutarou waddled into the arms of Sugawara. Clinging to him like a lifeline. He looked fearfully at the group. His voice went even quieter this time.

 

“Are they hurting you?” Koutarou asked Sugawara. The older omega leaned back and shook his head.

 

“They would never hurt me, Bokuto. They would never hurt you either. You can trust them.” Koutarou shook his head and jumped into Sugawara’s arms. He stood up. Taking Koutarou with him.

 

“But he bit you.” Koutarou pointed at Daichi. Sugawara shook his head.

 

“No, Daichi kissed me. Kisses are good.” Koutarou looked around frantic. His yellow pajamas contrasting with Sugawara’s elegant dress.

 

“Koutarou i’m going to go get Ittetsu. Sugawara i’m sorry i’ll be right back.” Sugawara looked back at him.

 

“No problem.” He heard their voices as he went up the steps.

 

“See, Bokuto? Kisses are nice!” He could Nishinoya say from downstairs. And then he heard the soft crying start.

 

“Bokuto, it’s okay, you don’t have to cry. Everyone here is happy, we are all safe and happy.” Sugawara said. There wasn’t a reply, or at least he didn’t hear one when he reached his husbands room.

 

“Ittetsu? Kou’s downstairs. You awake?” Ittetsu groaned, and moved the blankets.

 

“what?” he said slowly dragging himself out of bed. “what happened?”

 

“Koutarou’s downstairs.” Ittetsu rubbed his eyes and stood up. “some of the teams down there too.” Ittetsu pulled on his jacket and walked passed him.

 

“why’s he crying?” he asked.

 

“I think he thinks Daichi hurt Sugawara.” Ittetsu nodded and groggily walked passed him and down the stairs. He followed close behind.

 

“Koutarou?” Ittetsu asked when he was through the door. “I thought you were asleep,” the team watched him walk towards Sugawara.

 

“No!” Koutarou said suddenly as he was put on the ground. “No. NO. Go back!” he pushed on Ittetsu, pushing him towards the door.

 

“Koutarou, whats wrong?” Ittetsu asked. Looking promptly more awake than he first did.

 

“He thinks Sugawara is hurt.” Asahi said. He was standing far away. Looking small. Daichi did the same.

 

“We won't hurt you, or Suga, or Takeda.” Koutarou sniffled and stared. Nishinoya moved a bit closer. Two omegas and a beta scooted around him to form a somewhat protection like wall. Koutarou looked up at them in shock. He peered through the cracks at the rest of them. Nishinoya bent down and held out his hand. “You wanna see?” Koutarou looked at the hand. Apprehensive, his body shivered, and the pungent smell of fear stoked the anxiety around the room. They tried their best to hide it. Koutarou took his hand. Nishinoya walked over to Asahi first. Koutarou whimpered and hid behind the beta. Asahi smiled gently down at him. “Asahi, you wouldn't hurt anyone right?” Nishinoya asked.

 

“R-right.” he stuttered out quickly.

 

“You think he's safe?” Nishinoya asked. Koutarou shook his head and flinched. “No? Well that's okay. How about we try Ennoshita.” they padded over to Ennoshita. “You wouldn't hurt anyone, would you?”

 

“Never, I promise.” he said.

 

“Think he's safe?” Koutarou shook his head and tried to pull Nishinoya away. “Okay. That's fine. Daichi? You wouldn't hurt anyone ever, yeah?”

 

“yeah, I don't want anyone to get hurt.” Nishinoya tried to pull Koutarou over to him but he refused to leave his spot.

 

“not him? Really?” Koutarou nodded and flapped his free hand. “Well,” Nishinoya said, once again bending down to match heights. “sometimes our thoughts can be silly. But that's okay. Do you think you could like them if they showed you they would never hurt you?” Koutarou looked around the room. Then back at the beta.

 

“Maybe.” he whispered. Nishinoya grinned.

 

“Then that's a start then isn't it?” he hopped up and brought Koutarou back over to Ittetsu and Keishin. “Can you trust us to be okay while you sleep at least?” Koutarou nodded. And grabbed onto Ittetsu’s hand again. “Good.” Koutarou moved towards the door. And Ittetsu followed. Bringing him up the stairs. Keishin stood awkwardly staring at it all. Koutarou had never talked out loud like that in front of him. It wasn't the best of circumstances, for sure, but…

 

“Sorry. I didn't know he was awake.” Tanaka walked over towards Nishinoya and waved his hands

 

“Don’t apologize! It's fine!”

 

“I wasn't expecting him to talk.” Sugawara said absently. Keishin looked down.

 

“It’s about closing time anyway.” he mumbled.

 

“Alright! We'll be on our way then.” 

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Bokuto cam to practice the next day with a oversized yellow jacket covering his shoulders, all the way down to his knees. He was clutching a coloring book to his chest and smiling as he entered. There were crayons sticking out of his jeans. He wasn’t holding Takeda’s hand as he entered and went straight to the bench. He sat on the floor. And put the coloring book down beside him. He began to draw without a second thought.

 

Takeda and him sat there through practice. Takeda taking down notes and calling things out. And Bokuto humming happily as he colored in his book. They practiced receives for the first thirty minutes of practice. Noya being the best of them, as he always was. Koushi really thought he had been improving, not that he was bad, but… their was always room to improve, especially on defense. Dives had taken up another twenty minutes before they finally were able to start a practice match.

 

He was put on the opposite team from Kageyama. Tsukishima and Tanaka joining him as well. Hinata and Kageyama, of course, were paired up on the other side. He almost felt bad for the teams they went up against. Their quick exhausted him. Making his head hurt. They quickly called a break when Hinata caught a ball with his face. He sat down and drank from his water bottle.

 

Across the way Tsukishima went over to his own stuff. Taking a large gulp of water out of his own. Bokuto had stopped drawing. He scented the air. And then looked directly at Tsukishima. The older omega stared back at him. His eyebrow raised. Bokuto looked down at his coloring book and then back at the boy. Tsukishima watched awkwardly. Bokuto then tore the page hurriedly from his coloring book. He stood up and held it to his chest. Tsukishima stood deathly still as the pup walked up to him. Bokuto made a wail sound and handed him the picture. The older omega stared at it for a second, then took it. There was a small smile playing on his lips as he looked at it. “Thank you.” He said and looked at Bokuto, who blushed fiercely. He was stiff in his stance, his hand still out even though the picture was no longer in his hands. Tsukishima went to walk back onto the court but before he was able to Bokuto grabbed him from the side and gave him a giant hug. Tsukishima looked shocked, he froze with his hands up. Bokuto let go quickly, he stared with his teeth clench, and then covered his face with his hands, and ran to Takeda who he promptly hid behind. Tsukishima was still frozen on the floor. Koushi couldn’t keep in the snort that came out. Tsukishima glared at him and continued his way towards Yamaguchi.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


They had both decided that they would send Koutarou to school when he was able to start talking again. Koutarou’s psychologist had encouraged them both to try and get Koutarou to start answering questions verbally at home. To not push too hard when they were outside, but to give him time if he was asked a question or if he wanted to talk, but not to force it. That would only make the anxiety worse, and make him not want to speak. She also encouraged them to start getting him involved with other children. Taking him to parks, going on small trips with him out, other than just their work and home, to get him used to being around people. She said to take things one at a time. He had heard a few things about the therapy sessions, Koutarou was doing a lot of play therapy, not talking to her yet, but it was only his third appointment. They had two appointments a week. And one check up every two weeks.

 

That sunday morning he woke up in Koutarou’s bed again. He helped him get dressed. It was getting colder and colder. Koutarou grabbed his giant jacket again. It was funny how much he liked that thing. It was just one of his old hoodies from college. Ittetsu had convinced Koutarou to help him make waffles. Koutarou had gotten him all the ingrediants. Although Ittetsu kind of regretted teaching him how to crack an egg. Since Koutarou went through all twelve eggs in his giggly attempt to get it right. But either way, it was a fun morning. Keishin was in his shop for the day. He’d normally get someone else to man it but he’d been spending more and more time down there. Ittetsu felt bad for him. He wished Koutarou would warm up to him but it didn’t look like that was going to happen any time soon. Koutarou had taste tested the maple syrup and gagged, he wiped off his tongue with his hands immediately after he tried it. And then he tasted tested some nutella, well of course he liked that. So he slathered his waffle with nutella. It was more nutella than waffle. Ittetsu then spent five minutes cleaning the chocolaty substance off of him. Koutarou then sat and colored at the kitchen table. They had set up a small craft box that they could easily take on and off of the table. But now there were crayons everywhere. Ittetsu cleaned up the kitchen. He had planned to take Koutarou to the aquarium today. It would be something to do and something that would allow him to get outside. And Koutarou seemed to be in a pretty good mood that day as well. He finished and put the last bowl into the dishwasher. Koutarou looked up. His owlish eyes wide and happy, Ittetsu suddenly noticed the gap in the front of his mouth. Did he lose a tooth? How did he not know he had lost a tooth? Koutarou looked curiously at the omega. “Did you lose a tooth?” He asked. Koutarou quickly snapped his jaw shut. And covered his mouth with his hand. He looked scared.

 

“I didn’t mean it!” He yelled. And hopped off of the chair. Ittetsu put his hands up.

 

“Woa woa woa. Koutarou, it’s fine, everyone loses their teeth, It’s normal. You’ll get new ones in return. Do you know where you put your tooth?” Koutarou looked from side to side.

 

“I ate it.” Ittetsu slapped a hand to his face. Oh my God. He thought.

 

“Did you think you could hide it if you ate it?” Ittetsu asked trying to contain his laughter. Koutarou nodded. His hands were still covering his mouth. He laughed a little harder this time.

 

“Am I gonna die?” Ittetsu quickly stifled his laughter and shook his head.

 

“No! No, you’ll be fine,” He chortled, this was really hard to not laugh about. “But now you won’t be able to meet the tooth fairy.” Koutarou tilted his head to the side.

 

“What’s that?” Oh yeah, he thought. He doubted his parents ever told him about the tooth fairy. And this was probably his first tooth if they didn’t. A little late for him to be losing his first tooth.

 

“When you lose a tooth, you put it under your pillow that night, and the tooth fairy will come and give you a present. Like a quarter or something.” Koutarou looked disgusted.

 

“Why does she want my teeth?” This time his hands looked to be protecting his mouth. Ittetsu thought for a moment, what did his mom tell him? Oh yeah.

 

“Well she won’t take your teeth if they haven’t fallen out by themselves. It happens to everyone as we grow older. You lose this set of teeth and grow another. That’s why when you run your tongue over where your tooth is missing you might feel something a little hard, that’s your new tooth. It’s a stronger tooth! The tooth fairy just takes what you have naturally lost, because….because in her kingdom, she needs a really secure castle. And the better taken care of your teeth, the stronger her castle will be. To protect her kingdom from the goblins.” Koutarou stopped covering his mouth and ran his tongue over the gap.

 

“What are goblins?”Ittetsu had to think again. He really needed to get this kid some books about this stuff. Or he’d be stuck explaining every mythical creature. Did Koutarou even know about Santa? Six years without Santa sounds awful. As he thought about this, another question came into his mind. And he couldn't believe that he hadn’t thought of it before, or even noticed.

 

“Goblins are ugly little creatures who like to cause trouble.” Koutarou nodded and looked around.

 

“Why?” He asked. Ittetsu racked his brain.

 

“I guess it’s just in their nature?” They stood in silence for a little bit. “Koutarou, do you know how to read?” Koutarou blushed deep red, and shook his head, looking at the floor. “Hey, don’t look so down. It’s okay if you don’t know how. We can work on it. Do you know the alphabet?”

 

Koutarou burst into song “A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z now I know my ABC’s next time won’t you sing with me.” He smiled up at him. Ittetsu returned it.

 

“Do you know how to write them?” Koutarou quivered his lip. “It’s okay if you don’t.” Koutarou shook his head then. “Do you know how to hold a pencil?” Koutarou nodded. Ittetsu grabbed a pencil from the box and handed it to him. Koutarou gripped it in his fist. “Is that how you hold it?” Koutarou nodded. “I can teach you how to hold it when you write.” Koutarou looked down sadly at his hand. He pouted his lip.

 

“Am I bad?”

 

“No. Why would you think that? You are just fine, Koutarou. I just thought you would like to learn how to hold it properly.” Ittetsu took the pencil from his hand and demonstrated. “See? This way you have more control over the pencil.” Koutarou looked on in awe at the pencil. Seemingly taken with the idea of having more control. HE gave a toothy grin and grabbed it back. He stilled for a second, expecting a whack, but saw Ittetsu’s own grin and relaxed. He tried copying his hand and failed miserably. He frowned down at the utensil. “You don’t have to get it right away, we’ll work on it. Get you ready for school this winter.” Koutarou hummed and placed the pencil back on the table. They did have plans. Koutarou had been told they’d be going to the aquarium last night. He’d barely slept because he was so excited. He had never been to an aquarium before, never even heard of it. But after showing him a 30 minute documentary in which he looked on in awe at the colorful water bread creatures. He had screamed in excitement. It was something he did a lot. Although he did not often feel comfortable enough to talk, he was certainly comfortable enough to make noise, ear piercing and earth shattering noise. He was as loud as an unscheduled train, shaking the tracks not even a mile away from your house at 4 am. He was, unexpected, unpredictable, Uninhibited. but it, either way, was supposed to be there, he was supposed to make the noise, that’s how it felt. Ittetsu stood up. “But we have plans don’t we?” Koutarou’s mouth dropped open, and his nod stitched it back into the classic smile he wore. “Can you get your hand on for me? Then we can go.” Koutarou squealed and rushed off to the bin by the front door. He put on his hat. Bright blue and knitted, felted inside. He shoved in his face and hummed at the softness. He was so happy. It made Ittetsu happy.


	6. Fishies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto goes to the aquarium  
> Takeda meets a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is okay? i had another scene but it felt weird so i deleted it.

The day was going by great. For some reason the scent of all the people, all the alpha’s wasn’t bothering Koutarou as much as it did at the school. Weather it was the sea salt, the damp air, or maybe even the cleaning supplies they used, he didn’t care, but Koutarou seemed almost completely at ease. They stayed, staring at the shark tank for thirty minutes. Koutarou refused to leave. Apparently he loved the shark just that much. It was kind of silly, and adorable. He looked around at all the other omega’s and their children. They all looked so alike. Smiling and happy, even the ones who were trying to get their child through a fit. He tried to keep that ache out of his chest. Focusing instead on how enthusiastic Koutarou was. He was always enthusiastic. But it was nice to see him outside and looking like he felt safe.

 

Right after lunch with him he took Koutarou to a little lesson about marine animals and coral reefs. He ended up after with himself trying to wash the smell and slime of a dead fish off his hands. Koutarou just laughed at him. After spending four hours at the aquarium, in the best of moods, and the best of attitudes, Koutarou started to get anxious. Flapping his hands at his sides, and humming. Every once in awhile he’d cover his nose. So Ittetsu took him to the gift shop. On their way out. He himself was starting to get antsy. He was ready for anything that might set Koutarou off. He kept a strong hold on his hand as he curiously explored the shop. Drifting in and out of the shelves. He came across a shelf of stuffed sharks. He felt one with his hand, and gasped. Some kids were staring at him. He did stand out a little, bit more antsy, a bit more loud. Ittetsu tried to ignore the adults staring at him. Koutarou looked back at him, and then shoved his hands into the pile. He squealed. SQUEALED. Now all of the eyes in the shop were on him. Ittetsu waved his hand at the parents around him, and started pull Koutarou away. But before he could, the pup shoved his face into the pile. Causing several of the stuffed sharks to fall over.

 

He wasn’t able to pick out the angry Alpha smell right away but Koutarou obviously did. He got up from the pile and stiffened. A shudder ran up the pups spine. Ittetsu looked up from his pup and toward the tall man towering over them both. “What do you think you are doing? Letting your pup run around like that, causing a mess. Do you know how many other people are here right now? Trying to have a nice day. And your pup, with his screaming, and his disruption are ruining that for the rest of us.” Ittetsu put his hands up. He wasn’t good at dealing with this sort of thing. Koutarou didn’t move.

 

“I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up don’t worr-”

 

“Do you think that’s really going to help now? Are you just going to let your pup get off the hook for doing that?” Ittetsu gulped and wound his hand around Koutarou’s arm, pulling him closer to him, adjusting himself to stand in front of him. “He’s a spoiled brat. You can’t just let him get away with that sort of thing.”

 

“He’s just a kid, I’m sorry-” The man raised his hand in what looked to be intimidation. He knew Koutarou couldn’t see that though. The only thing he could understand was that an alpha was mad, mad at him, and that he was yelling and his hand was up. There was an ear piercing scream. Ittetsu quickly turned from the man to look at his pup. He was holding on tightly to Ittetsu’s hand. Sobbing into his skin fiercely. He felt the ball of anger build inside of him. How dare this man accost him like that? In front of all of these people? It’s not like their pups were perfect angels. Koutarou hadn’t done anything wrong, sure his actions may look to be inappropriate to other people, but he was a kid, he was learning. He had a lot of other shit he had to go through that these other kids didn’t have to. That this alpha had never had to experience with of any kind. He did not have any inkling of what was going on at all, and to have the nerve to yell at him and his pup like that in front of everyone was appalling. He made Koutarou cry, for God’s sake. He whipped around toward the man and stood as tall as he could.

 

“That is enough. You do not get to harass a customer like this.” Ittetsu paused, stepped back. The lady behind the desk came wheeling out toward them. Her face had the expression as hard as a mountain. Each chisel of her cheek spoke the hardness of her voice. She was tall in a way that wasn’t real but was just as intimidating as the alpha before them. Ittetsu held his breath to keep him from speaking. The alpha caught sight of her uniform. “Now, you apologize to this young man and his father. And then you leave.”

 

“I wasn’t the one disturbing everyone's day.” The man said, a laugh on his lips. The woman hardened and crossed her arms.

 

“You made a scene, off of a harmless reaction from a child. You have made him cry, you have yelled and hurt his father and I will not stand for any more of it. So you will leave this establishment before I have to call security.” The man huffed and looked to what seemed to be his family.

 

“You can’t kick me out like this.” The lady raised her brow.

 

“Is that so?”

 

“I want to talk with the manager.” The lady gave the kindest of smiles.

 

“I am the manager.” The man grew even more red. He gave his family one more look before looking at the lady with his fists shaking. He stormed out of the shop. His family quickly followed after him. Koutarou was still sobbing. Ittetsu grabbed onto him tightly. The lady wheeled a little closer. “Do you need a quiet place for him to calm down? There is a space in the back.” Ittetsu nodded. And picked up the pup. Koutarou was hyperventilating.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Of course, you didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve that.” He followed her to a white door, it lead to a closet. There were coats hanging from racks on the sides. Some shoes lining the walls. And shelves full of random objects and possessions. There was a wooden crate in the middle. He only just noticed the boy sitting there idly, playing with a small amount of dinosaures. He looked up at the three of them. “Tetsurou - ah, what are your names?”

 

“I’m Takeda, this is Koutarou.” Ittetsu had to force himself to get the words out. So stunned by the interaction. The woman ignored his stutter.

 

“Can they stay in here while his pup calms down?” The boy nodded. “This is my son Kuroo by the way. You can call me Ai. Take as much time as you need.” She shut the door behind them. Koutarou still wailed. It was kind of awkward for all of them.

 

Koutarou wasn’t starting to calm down at all. And the boy was starting to look on edge. He got up and grabbed one of his dinosaurs. He walked up to the two of them. He tapped Koutarou on the shoulder, in which made Koutarou jump and fall off Ittetsu’s lap. “Do you like dinosaurs?” The kid asked. Koutarou, still crying, nodded. The boy bent down and handed the dinosaur to him. He gave a crooked smile, his two canines missing.Koutarou wiped his nose on his sleeve and held the dinosaur. His sad and red and wet face still present, but the loud sobs starting to diminish by the second. The boy sat down on his knees and watched. “That’s a stegosaurus. But Ilike Brachiosauruses more. They eat leaves. And have really really long necks. I don’t like the carnivores. Carnivores only eat meat. They hurt the other dinosaurs and that just seems sad.” Koutarou sniffled. He looked warily at the other kid and then up at Ittetsu. He fiddled with the dinosaur and pouted. “What dinosaur do you like the most?” Koutarou didn’t respond, instead opting for running his fingers across the cheap plastic seem on the underbelly of the toy. Kuroo rested his head in his hands and stared at him expectantly. Koutarou looked up at him and then bit his lip looking down. Sniffling, he handed the toy back. “I can show you the other ones I have.” Koutarou nodded, but stuck close to Ittetsu. Holding his hand again and cuddling into him. Kuroo brought over all of his toys and placed them on the ground in front of him. “I gave them all names too. The pterodactyl is Kiki. The stegosaurus is Ume, the the bronchiasaurus is Kenma, he’s my friend. The T-rex is named Yuzuru. I have a megalodon from the exhibit last week. But he’s not  _ really _ a dinosaur though. I haven’t named him.” Koutarou pointed at it. Kuroo pushed it towards him. “I still think he’s cool though.” Koutarou ran his finger over the fin. Ittetsu could see the faintest smile. “Have you seen the sharks? Mom says we only take the fishes in because they need help, and then we put them back. She says our aquarium is better than others. But the new one that came in is missing half of his fin. She’s so cool. Mom says she isn’t going back so I get to see her every day.” Kuroo leaned in closer and put a hand on one side of his mouth. “I call her Runa, even though that’s not her name.” He sat back. “But Toto is a stupid name.”

 

There was a knock on the door and it opened. Ai looked in. “How are you guys doing?” She asked.

 

“Better. I think,” He paused and watched as Koutarou played with the shark. “Your son has a knack for this kind of thing.” He chuckled at the two of them. Ai was smiling too at this point. She looked on fondly at her son.

 

“Well, we are about to close. Not to many people left here if you would like to make a run for it before we lock up.” She joked. Ittetsu suddenly stood up, realizing just how much time he spent in this closet. Koutarou was almost completely calmed down now.

 

“Oh my, er, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to take advantag-”

 

“No! No, you’re fine. I get it. I mean, well I was the kid crying in the store.” She laughed. “It’s really not a problem. Besides, I doubt you weren’t shaken up a little, I would be.” Ittetsu still held tightly to Koutarou’s hand. Kuroo stood up with them both.

 

“Mom?” Ai looked at her son. “Can Koutarou hang out in here again?” She rose and eyebrow and smirked. She looked at the two of them.

 

“Only if they want to.” Ittetsu nodded immediately. He might have been a little eager.

 

“S-sure.” He said. Koutarou tugged on his shirt. He wanted up.

 

“Yeah! That would be great. We don’t live around too many other families. That would be great.” Ittetsu nodded.

 

“Yeah, it would. It really would be.” The lady pulled out a phone from her pocket.

 

“What’s your number?”

  
  


They all left the tiny closet. Koutarou ran towards the pile of sharks again and took one out. And shoved it into Ittetsu’s hand. “This one?” He asked, and looked towards Ai. She nodded and typed it into the register. Koutarou gripped Ittetsu’s leg as Kuroo babbled onto him about all the things he knew about the aquarium and what his house looked like.

 

“He just entered first grade this september. He hasn’t been able to make a lot of friends there. Well, except Kenma. But that boy only goes half the day and his parents aren’t too keen on leaving him in my care.” She brushed it off with a laugh.

 

“Koutarou only got here a couple weeks ago.” He stated. “Hasn’t started school yet.” Ai looked over at the pup.

 

“Thought you guys looked different. Bad situation, right? I was the same. But i was probably a bit younger then him when my mom got me. Doesn’t talk?” Ittetsu nodded.

 

“Only to me. Sometimes others…. But that has only happened twice.” Ai handed him a little bag with the shark inside and smiled.

 

“How are you doing?” She asked. Maybe it was just the day he was having. Maybe it was this whole goddamn year. She just sounded so genuine. HE wasn’t expecting the heat to rise in his face. And the lump to form in his throat. Before he could stop himself he was crying. Ai placed her hand on top of his. “Aw shit. I know how that is.” He tried to hold the sob back but it just came out anyways.

 

“I’m sorry. I must be freaking you out. Oh, god. I’m so sorry.” He laughed through his cries.

 

“No, no. You are perfectly fine. This job isn’t an easy one. Sometimes you just hold it all in too long. You’re doing just fine.” His wiped his tears away and tried to smile. Only to sob more.

 

“This is so pathetic.” He said.

 

“You don’t say that when your kid cries so why do you say it when you have to? Look, I know how this is. It’s new. Not easy. You have to deal with more than some others do. But you are doing your best. That’s all you can do. And look, your kid has a friend.” Ittetsu really did laugh this time.

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks.” He managed to calm his breathing.

 

“One thing you’ll learn about me is that I am pretty much always right.” She paused to wheel herself around the desk. “See you again, Takeda.” He returned the goodbye and took Koutarou out of the store.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Shouyou couldn’t help but stumble off of his bike that monday morning. He had been having the absolute best morning so far. He almost forgot to lock it up. Jumping slightly on one foot to turn himself around. He hopped his way towards the gym, pulling up his sock that had fallen past his heel. He stumbled into something on his way there. Falling backwards onto his backside. He humphed. “Hinata! Are you okay?” Nothing but his ass...He was fine. He nodded and stood up. Not noticing how his tongue peeked out from the side as he did so. Takeda stared down at him.

 

“I’m great!” He replied. Darn, his sock was still scrunched up in the front of his shoe. Stupid socks. Socks were an evil form of natural selection. He leaned down and tried fixing it again. He almost bumped head with Bokuto. Oh yeah! “HI!” He greeted after fixing his sock. Bokuto giggled, hiding his face in Takeda’s hand. “Is Kageyama here yet?” He looked around the oldest omega’s shoulder, expecting to see the brooding alpha right behind him.

 

“He-” He won this time. Ohohoh.

 

“Thanks Takeda!” He ran past him and burst open the gym doors. “Guess who’s here first!” He had his eyes closed. Only opening them when he felt a smack to the back of his head. “Ow!” 

 

“Dumbass.” Shouyou pouted his lip and rubbed the back of his head.

 

“Hey!” He said, reaching out and catching the arm of the setter before he could walk back over to the net. “Bakageyama, wait a second, will ya? Jeez.” Kageyama glared down at him. Aww, how sweet. He wasn’t growling this time. He might have laughed out loud when he thought about that. Causing Kageyama to yank his arm away. “No, no, no. Why do you hurt my heart like this? Come back.”

 

“Spit it out already.” Shouyou took a moment to compose himself into his tallest height. His hands on his hips and his chest jutted out.

 

“Touch my chest.” Kageyama’s glare turned into extreme confusion.

 

“Why?” Shouyou groaned and poke at Kageyama’s arm.

 

“Just touch it!” Kageyama pulled his arm back defensively.

 

“Stop manhandling me.”

 

“You’re the one that hit me!” Kageyama rolled his eyes and half heartedly touched his chest. “Notice anything?” Kageyama stood quietly for a second and pulled his hand back.

 

“No.” Shouyou grunted and clasped his hand around his setter’s forearm. He yanked him down so he could reach his ear.

 

“My binder arrived.” Kageyama gave him a wide eyed look.

 

“So?” Shouyou pushed him away.

 

“What do you mean ‘so?’ you were the one who helped me get it.” He pouted. Kageyama stared at him for a solid thirty seconds before he finally seemed to come up with an answer.

 

“You look good.” Shouyou beamed, his face heating up.

 

“I kno-”

 

“Maybe now you’ll finally be able to receive now.” His face fell. Kageyama took a drink from his water bottle. Looking down at him with his stupid face.

 

“Wh- HEY!” Shouyou socked him in the arm. It made his water fall. Kageyama hit him back in the arm. He rubbed his arm and then kicked Kageyama in the shin. The setter grabbed his leg while hopping on his foot. Kageyama went to lunge forward at him but was caught quickly by the collar. Suga was holding him back.

 

“Nope.” Kageyama grumbled and picked up his water bottle. Sitting himself down against the wall. Shouyou laughed maniacally, pointing at him. Suga walked past him, Shouyou wasn’t expecting the smack to the back of his head and stumbled forward slightly. He too grumbled. And went to sit down next to Kageyama.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Shouyou had decided to stay after practice and practice receives. Asking Noya to stay behind and help him. Kageyama had to leave for some family dinner thing. So it was just Noya, Suga, and him. Though not really. Takeda came back into the gym after 30 minutes. He grabbed a small bag under the bench and headed for the door. BOkuto let his hand slide out of his. He watched as they played. Takeda sat down on the bench, he looked like he had about given up on going home that day. Watching his pup timidly walk towards them. Noya smiled and waved, “Hey.” He said. Bokuto looked at the ball that was in Shouyou’s hands and pointed.

 

“You want to hold it?” Bokuto nodded. Shouyou gave him the ball and watched with the rest of them. At first he just held it, running his fingers along the lines of the ball. He spun it in his hands a couple times, the gap where his tooth was becoming more prominent as he continued to play with it. He threw it up into the air and caught it. Letting out a shrill squeal of laughter when he did so. He pushed the ball back into Shouyou’s hands. He ran over to Suga and grabbed both of his hands and watched Shouyou. He didn’t really know what was happening, he glanced at Noya who looked just as puzzled as he did. “Do you want to play?” Bokuto nodded and clapped his hands. Jumping forward and ducking under the net. He flapped his hands expectantly.

 

“Do you want to learn how?” Noya asked and bent down. Bokuto nodded. “Okay. Can you put your arms out?” Bokuto copied him. “Okay now you put your hands together like this.” Bokuto looked at Noya’s hands and gave him a puzzled look. “Can I touch your arms real quick?” The pup looked anxious, he looked at the ground. “How about Suga help you?” Bokuto nodded and fiddled with his hands. Suga ducked under the net and also kneeled down.

 

“Can I?” Bokuto nodded. Suga situated his arms and hands in form. “So just like that. See my hands? And then see yours? You’re doing it.” Bokuto smiled faintly at his arms. And then in a wave of excitement pulled them to his body and bounced up and down.

 

“So when you receive the ball you want it to hit right here.” Noya tapped his forearm. Bokuto watched in awe as Noya demonstrated the proper way to receive. Using Shouyou as help. But instead Bokuto paid more attention to him. Shouyou might have felt a bit of pride swell in his chest. He smirked. His serves were never great but they happened to be passable with Bokuto watching him.

 

“Koutarou, we have to get home soon, hun.” Bokuto looked over at Takeda and pouted. Takeda stood up and stretched. “thank you guys for entertaining him.”

 

“yeah, of course.” Noya said. Shouyou nodded and went to put the ball away.

 

“you head home we'll clean up,” Takeda nodded and smiled at them all.

 

“Stay safe.”

  
  


 


	7. Catch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto holds a pencil  
> Suga tosses a ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my friend gave me tips on the Japanese characters so i could make this slightly more accurate??? IF you have a criticism though feel free to tell i do want to make this better.  
> I also don't know what i'm doing with this chapter.  
> I have no goal just an outline on ABO dynamics and a bit of history so this is basically just rambles XD

Bokuto picked up the ball as it was hit out of bounds. They watched as he studied the lines. Smiling fondly down at the material. He squinted his eyes and let out a loud giggle. He caught it as Bokuto haphazardly threw it back to them. There was no impact behind it, just free play from the pup. Bokuto clapped wildly when he saw, his face sparkling with joy and awe while he watched. Yuu tried to bite down on his own laugh. Failing miserably as he walked back onto the game. He shoved the ball into Asahi’s hands and stepped into place.

 

Afternoon practice went like that for the rest of the day. If a ball flew out to the side, Bokuto would run to go get it, and throw it back to them. It really wasn’t needed, but he seemed to be having fun doing it, and it was hardly an inconvenience. Maybe they really could turn him into a volleyball nerd. Yuu went and sat down next to him during a five minute break. Sipping casually on his water bottle while chatting with Ryuu. Bokuto didn’t scoot away, not anxious, maybe a little apprehensive. But he wasn’t bothered by their presence enough to stop his coloring. Yuu looked over at the crayons. That was not a coloring book, looking closer he spotted the way Bokuto was sticking his tongue out in concentration, his hand shaking and the crayon cracking under the pressure he was putting onto the paper. He didn’t realize he was craning his neck to see until the pup looked up. Momentarily startled. Yuu leaned back, trying to be slower. He didn’t mean to be creepy. “What are you working on, BOkuto?” the pup sat up from his elbows. He gave Yuu a blank expression and then pointed at his book, moving it closer to him.

 

“He didn’t like the sound the pencils made....” Takeda interjected. “So he is using crayons.” Yuu leaned in to look. Crude squiggles were being drawn on lines. And then somewhere in the middle of the book was a little silly doodle of what looked to be a bird. He chortled. He was the same way when he filled out these… Though he would normally try and get the whole page to be one color in the time limit they had to do them. Always being scolded. Bokuto pointed at the bird, a grin growing, he looked up at Takeda, who just rolled his eyes with a laugh. “Well at least I know you’re improving at art.” There was no malice in his tone. Yuu pointed at the ‘BO’s, which seemed to be having a harder time than the rest. Some backwards,Some with three dashes instead of two, and some missing notches.

 

“I find it helpful to use two fingers to hold the pencil instead of just one, like when you use chopsticks.” He said. He could never get a good grip when he just used his index finger. Yuu picked up a pink crayon and demonstrated. “Like this.” Bokuto stared at his hand. His eyebrows furrowing, and his lips turning down. He frowned and shook his hand, also picking up a new crayon. He held it in his fist. Yuu smirked. Takeda sighed from behind them. “If you can get through a whole line without messing up, you can hold the crayon like that. But, if you mess up you can try my way?” Bokuto looked towards Takeda who shrugged and continued writing his own work down.

 

“I don’t mind.” Bokuto set his crayon back down into his tin box. He swiveled himself so he was facing Yuu more. He reached out towards him, his hand angling towards Yuu’s own. Poke. Bokuto smiled and nodded, and took the pink crayon back.

 

“It’s a deal then.” Bokuto hummed a happy tune and went on to the next column of ‘BO’s.

 

He ran back towards Asahi, hearing Ukai calling them all to gather up. He noticed the posture of self doubt right away, smacking his friend on the back as he ran past. “Stop it.” Asahi startled as he felt his back be smacked. “You’re getting down on yourself again. Stop.” Asahi sagged.

 

“Not really…” Yuu raised an eyebrow and smirked.

 

“Liar.” He grabbed his hand and pulled him to the cluster of players standing around. “Come on.”

  
  


People entered and exited as they cleaned up, and got out of their gym clothes, packing up. Before he went to go change he stopped by the bench again and leaned down. “How did it go?” Yuu asked. Bokuto had a smug smile on his face as he picked up the book. Takeda let out a bark of laughter. The pup frowned and stomped his feet, takeda put his hand up and bit his laugh.

 

“Sorry, hun. You did great.” He shook his head as he began packing up as well. Yuu took the book and studied it. These were even worse. He scraped his teeth over his lip to try and stop his own laugh. Some hadn’t even been finished, just having a single line. One did look a bit like a butterfly….Bokuto clasped his hands together in excitement as he watched Yuu look at his work. He put his finger on his chin for extra effect and ‘hrmmm’ed as he looked. HE sat down and put the book between them.

 

“Sorry, Bokuto. Looks like my way is what we are looking at here.” Bokuto pouted his lip, his hands turning into fists, his face turned really red and tears started to fall down his cheeks. He sat down harshly and fell to the side.

 

“NO!” He yelled. He rolled over so his face was planted on the gym floor.

 

“Hey, hey. It’s all okay. You don’t have to right now. And you can hold your hand however you want when you draw.” Yuu said. Bokuto bent his knees lifting his feet up into the air and slammed them down again. “Once you get it i promise you will like it. It just isn’t going to be fun right now.” Bokuto turned again and looked at him with grumpiest face he had ever seen on him. “I didn’t mean to say these were bad. They are very artistic, but they aren’t ‘BO’s.” Bokuto slapped a hand to his face.

 

“‘Bo’s are stupid.” Yuu couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

 

“But your name is spelled with a ‘BO’.” He pointed out. Bokuto perked up a little bit. “If you learn memorize these you can spell your name.” Bokuto laid sat back up and pointed at another character. “That’s the last one you’ll use in your name.” Bokuto wiped his nose and grabbed the crayon. He did an uncomfortable and stiff version of how Yuu was holding the crayon. “Yeah, like that. But relax your hand. Eventually you’ll get it.” He stood up again. Stretching his arms in the air. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Bokuto. Keep up the good work.” Bokuto nodded and laid back into Takeda’s leg.

  
  


-oOo-

 

Ittetsu was woken up to a scream. It had happened a couple times throughout Koutarou living there. He got up from his bed and hurried to get to Koutarou’s room. Ittetsu pushed open the door and hurried to turn the light on. The pup had his hands covering his face, and his feet kicking back and forth. Ittetsu got on his knees next to the bed and placed his hands on the mattress. “Koutarou, you are okay. It was just a bad dream.” The pup shook his head, yelling nonsense syllables at him. Ittetsu looked down at the blankets and noticed the wetness seeping into the fabric. “Oh, honey.” He said. “Honey come here.” Koutarou reached out desperately for Ittetsu. He pulled the pup into his arms. Koutarou wailed into his chest, clenching the fabric of his shirt. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ll protect you.” Koutarou scented desperately. He’d have to rinse him off at least. The blankets would have to be washed as well. He didn’t want to kick Keishin out of bed either. He rubbed circles into the pup’s back. He was starting calm down. Hiccuping and crying a little more softly. “That’s it. Good job. You’re safe. Nothing can hurt you, I’ll protect you.” Koutarou shook in his arms. He hated to think someone could feel this scared. Pulling the pup tighter to his chest he kissed the top of his head. “You’re alright.” Koutarou sniffled.

 

After a while of Ittetsu making sure Koutarou wasn’t on the edge of panicking, He picked him up and brought him to the bathroom, turning on the tub. Koutarou stood to the side. “Do you think you can get in while i go clean up? I can help you just a second.” Koutarou nodded. “Okay.” He rushed out of the bathroom. Walking back into the bedroom and stripping the sheets and blankets from the mattress. He had a spare set in the closet. But he simply set that set down and walked back into the bathroom. Koutarou was sitting in the tub with his knees curled up to his chest. He looked really sad. Ittetsu sat down on the stool provided and grabbed some soap. Being careful to not get any water in the pup’s face this time. “How are you doing, hun?” He asked, as he dried Koutarou off. He had managed to get the pup to start giggling when he did this. Koutarou hugged the towel around him and hugged around the omega’s waist. He looked up and gave him a sleepy smile. “Are you tired?” Koutarou closed his eyes and nodded his head, rubbing against his pajamas. He picked the pup up into his arms. Nuzzling against his warmth.

 

He tucked the pup into the bed and placed himself to sit down beside him. “Are you okay if i go back to my bed, hun?” Koutarou shook his head and grabbed his hand. “Alright. Scoot over then.” He crawled under the blankets and pulled the small body against his chest. “You’re alright.” He said, and kissed the pups temple. He traced light lines across Koutarou’s skin. Before he knew it he heard the soft mewls of the boy. Ittetsu finally closed his eyes.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Bokuto made a loud jolly noise while pointing at Hinata. He looked back at the rest of the team gathering their stuff and getting ready. Yuu sat against the wall, sneaking his pinky to touch against Asahi’s. Drinking his water as he watched. He didn’t know if he wanted to practice a little bit after. It depended on what Asahi was doing. Or what he could get him to do. Hinata of course, and Kageyama, were staying after. Ittetsu was talking to Keishin on the other side of the gym so Bokuto had directed this noise towards Suga. Shouyou looked over after he had spiked the ball. His eyes glistening with pride, he looked over at Bokuto and smiled his lopsided grin. Bokuto flapped his hands at his side and bounced. He pointed again. And yelled. “Do you want to try?” Hinata asked bending down beside him. Bokuto looked in awe at the ball being pushed into his hands. Bokuto nodded rapidly. Hinata stood up and demonstrated how he should position himself and how to spike properly. Bokuto copied some of the movements, stiff and childlike. Hinata took the ball back and and threw it over to Kageyama. “Toss for him Kageyama?” Kageyama mumbled something under his breath but tossed the ball anyways. Bokuto shied away as it was thrown his way. Yuu stood up and clapped Suga on his back.

 

“You think you could Suga?” Suga nodded and stepped forward, retrieving the ball from the ground.

 

“You ready Bokuto?” The pup nodded. And bent his knees. Suga tossed the ball up into the air. Bokuto jumped up. His finger brushed the tip. The ball fell to the floor. The pup’s face moved in slow motion to a victory yell. 

  
“Hey!” He screamed. Jumping up and down and running full force into Hinata’s arms. Hinata toppled over onto the ground. He laughed. Bokuto squealed and rolled on the floor. They all chuckled at the scene. Yuu held a hand to his mouth and smiled. Good day. He thought.


	8. Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata has a carrie moment  
> Koutarou learns to ask for affection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so i wrote some stuff about how i have altered this story to fit ABO dynamics. If you would like a bonus chapter with some of my notes to understand that it can fill the time in betweeen editing the stuff i wrote like five months ago as an idea for this fic (i actually caught up with myself yaaaay)  
> Just tell me if you would like that. ( i wrote them like a good four months ago too XD)  
> Also tell me if you think i should change something it wont happen right away but once i finish this it will go through major editing and i will head your advice.   
> Thanks for reading :)

They all left the session a little surprised. He hadn’t really thought about it. But the actual diagnoses made sense. They were tod that Koutarou was autistic. It didn’t really change anything, but it made it all tie up. Make more sense. He guessed. He didn’t know why. Koutarou hid behind Ittetsu as they walked down the halls to get out of the hospital. Apparently he was scared by the smells. Every Time they walked down the halls he would get like this. Shaky and timid. He curled his fingers in his hair and patted his head lightly. “How do you feel?” He asked. Koutarou bit his fingernails.

 

And then in the smallest whisper he said, “Scared.”

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


The moment they showed up at the gym Koutarou’s demeanor changed. The happy yet groggy exterior he had held that morning. He walked in the doors and held onto him tightly. Hiding his face in his shoulder, like day one again. Ittetsu scented the air and couldn’t tell anything that could set him off. Nothing had changed. 

 

He watched the practice commence. Sugawara was his usual self, smiling and chattering with the rest of them, joking and teasing. Asahi didn’t look at all nervous today, must have been a good one. Nishinoya and Tanaka wouldn’t stop their bantering and Keishin had to yell at them both for getting distracted in there jokes. Tsukishima had gone off to the side after popping a lense out of his glasses. All pretty normal if he were to say so. And then he noticed Hinata. He seemed to be having a harder time breathing. His knees would buckle ever so slightly when he jumped. Slight winces crossed his face. Maybe an injury of some sort? Ittetsu questioned. He should have said so. He motioned towards Keishin to come over. Keishin gave him a puzzled look before bounding over from the other side of the gym. “Yeah?” He asked.

 

“Did Hinata mention any injuries to you? He looks a bit out of breath.” Keishin’s eyebrows knitted, he looked over at the boy. He shook his head, and tapped his chin with his index finger. Ittetsu looked over at the boy. He was panting with his hands on his knees. No one seemed to notice. It was only a slight difference he guessed. Still concerning never the less. Keishin got up.

 

“I’ll keep an eye on him.” At that moment, the sound of skin hitting the floor rung in there ears. They both quickly turned to see Hinata on the floor clutching his stomach. He was gritting his teeth, and his breathing was staggered. Keishin rushed forward. Hinata reeled back.

 

“Wah? Wh what’s happening?” He asked whimpering as he sunk lower to the floor. He covered his nose with one hand. “Am i dying?” He broke, the tears cluttering around the rims of his eyes. Sugawara squatted down beside him. He looked him over, and furrowed his brow.

 

“Have you never been in heat before?” Hinata let out a whimper of pain. He shook his head. “That’s...That’s really late.”

 

“Heat? But normal- Sugawara, can you take him to the nurses please?” Keishin said standing up and walking back a couple steps. Sugawara lifted Hinata up by his elbows.

 

“Don’t worry, Hinata, you’re just in heat. It’s normal.” The boy stood up, revealing the slick sliding down his legs. He stumbled into Sugawara’s grip. Even his own heats hadn’t hit this hard. Maybe it was preparing for it, he was concerned. Tsukishima seemed to be staring hard at him. Sometimes Omega’s needed to take supplements to make sure their heats weren’t painful. But most of the time people just dealt with it. It was only bad for the first five to seven days, the next week was okay. Hinata shivered as the exited the gym.

 

Koutarou was as still as he had ever been. Ittetsu quickly looked him over. His face was as white as a sheet, eyes blank. Ittetsu panicked. He hadn’t ever seen this panic before. Blank and gone. “Koutarou?” He said, running a hand over his shoulder. The pup flinched ever so slightly as he did so. His hands in his lap, feet, instead of swinging, hanging idly off of the side. Ittetsu grabbed both of his hands. “Honey? Honey can you answer me? Can you answer Ittetsu please?”

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Shouyou didn’t understand what was happening. He had been having a hard time all morning. Even the bike ride to school, which he did every day, had tired him out. And when he fell he began to panic. Suga said this was heat. So why hadn’t his parents ever told him about it? They were fine with giving him hormones to help his transition, a binder when he asked for it. So why hadn’t they talked about the inevitable. Even if they were all alpha’s they must of at least had some knowledge that could prepare him. But now his entire body coursed with adrenalin. The ache in his crotch was unbearable. He was wet and sticky all down his legs. He grabbed on to Suga for dear life as they made their way to the Nurses station. He could suddenly smell that alpha stench so much clearer. It wreaked, it made him dizzy, and made his crotch ache more.

 

“Did your parents not tell you about this?” Suga asked as they crossed into the main building.

 

“N-No,” He said. “They’re alpha’s even my sister.” Suga groaned.

 

“They should have at least told you. And brought you to a doctor if you hadn’t had your first heat yet. At this age.” Hinata flushed. He still hadn’t told the whole team yet. The only two that knew about him were Takeda and Kageyama, and Kageyama only knew because he had almost passed out while practicing with him in there first week.

 

“W-Well it might be… it might be because I...I take T…” Suga paused while walking. Staring at him with a puzzled expression.

 

“What?” Shouyou flushed completely red at this point tapped his chest with his free hand.

 

“I’m… I haven’t told the team yet. I’m trans.” Suga went blank for a second and then mouthed and ‘o’. His face lit up with realization.

 

“OH! So that’s why you never change in the club room. I just thought you had a nasty scar or something you didn’t want us to see. That makes a lot more sense.” Shouyou gripped tightly around his stomach as another wave of slick came leaking down his thighs. He shuddered. When would this end? He groaned as Suga guided him forward and through the doors.

 

The nurse gave him a tiny little pill to help subside his symptoms. They called his parents. Suga stayed with him sitting on a bench beside him. HE didn’t know why. He kept listing off things that would help him in his heats. Which was kind of awkward since Shouyou was silently trying to squeeze his legs together to get enough friction to relieve the pain in his groin. And Suga kept talking about sex tips and woah was he in a whirlwind of embarrassment, he really didn’t want to know any of this stuff. Especially about his upperclassmen. Forty minutes later his mom had arrived. He would have jumped up if he didn’t feel like he was dying. His mom helped him up. And he hurriedly exchanged goodbyes with Suga. He was going to die when he came back to practice.

 

The old, run down, yellow car had the back seats full. Shouyou raised an eyebrow. “Mom? What is all this stuff? Didn’t we just get groceries?” His mom turned pink with her eyebrows raised up high.

 

“I had your dad look at stuff to help Omegas in heat. I just thought…. I picked it all up on the way over.” Shouyou snuck a peek in the bag. He wished his mom would run them all into a pole right then and there. ‘Specialized’ pillows and blankets for nesting. Lotions, scent sprays, heat patches, heat pills, scent patches, alpha perfumes, beta perfumes, omega perfumes… but in the last bag, the last bag had an assortment of sex toys. Shouyou sunk low in his seat.

 

“Mom.” He groaned and covered his face. He didn’t realize how much he had been sweating. A makeshift towel was wrapped around his waist to make sure the slick didn’t get everywhere. He whimpered as a flash of pain coursed through him.

 

“Every omega goes through this, Shouyou, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about it.” She said, her voice high pitched and panicky. He furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“Well you sound pretty embarassed to me.” His mothers shoulders were held up high. He took another look in the bag. Just the alpha scent would have done. He didn’t know why she bought all three. Weren’t those expensive? They weren’t rich or anything… “You didn’t have to buy all of them.” He said. His mom threw his hands off the steering wheel, squealed at her mistake and placed them back on frantically.

 

“Well i don’t know what you like! I’m not going to judge my son, i married an alpha, i’m an alpha, that’s not all that normal, Shouyou. What if you were into that Yachi girl? Or that boy Noya? Who knows? I don’t! It’s not like you ever talk to me about these things!” She groaned, tilting her head down. “I’m sorry you were born in this family. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

 

“Geeez, Ah, That’s comforting.” He felt gross and wet and tingly and oh so much in pain and almost doubled over when his mom took the last turn to their house. She paused in the driveway and looked at him tenderly.

 

“How are you doing, sweetie?” Shouyou groaned in response, he leaned his head against the cool window, it helped. “Let’s get you inside. Your dad will help you in. I’ll get your things.” The car door was opened, he almost fell out if it wasn’t for his dad picking him up. If being picked up relieve this much pain he couldn’t wait to lay down in his bed. All those blankets and pillows suddenly sounded so much nicer than the bare minimum he usually kept.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Koutarou wouldn’t move, or recognize any of them. Staring blankly while as stiff as bored as they tried to bring him out of it. That was until Asahi stepped forward.

 

Ittetsu hadn’t expected the gigantuan third year to help so much. None of them noticed him until he was pushing a water bottle softly against Koutarou’s hand. “Takeda can i have your jacket?” He asked. Ittetsu nodded and took it off. Asahi threw it over Koutarou’s head. Covering his vision. Ittetsu watched his hands relax on the side of the bench. The gym was silent for a little bit. The rest of the team was trying to scatter themselves around as to not crowd the pup. Ittetsu watched from the floor as Asahi sat calmly next to Koutarou. “Would you like some candy? I have some in my bag.” Asahi asked. “Uh.. would it be okay if i gave it to him? I kind of brought it with me.” He whispered. Ittetsu nodded.

 

“G-go ahead.” Asahi placed a tiny rolled up pink candy on top of the back of Koutarou’s hand. Koutarou shivered. Very slowly the pup picked up the piece of candy, holding it in his fist. Ittetsu smiled. They were getting somewhere it was going to be okay. He wasn’t going to have to drag him out of the gym and make him even more scared. They were going to be okay.

 

Koutarou bumped his other hand against the water and made a small noise. “How are you doing?” Asahi asked. “You’re not there anymore, you’re in the gym.” Koutarou shivered under Ittetsu’s jacket. After another fifteen minutes of Ittetsu and Asahi talking softly, asking questions, trying to not pressure the pup. Koutarou moved a little more. He pointed his index finger and shifted on the bench. He poked Asahi’s hand and jumped.

 

“Koutarou, honey? Would you like to have a hug?” Koutarou tapped Asahi’s hand again. Asahi didn’t move. But he didn’t look scared, more content with himself. It was different then the anxiety or fearful expression, or even his dark determination he could show at times. Just, soft pride. Koutarou picked his hand up again, opening his palm up slightly. He placed the candy on top of Asahi’s hand and then jumped off of the bench into Ittetsu’s arms. Asahi looked a little confused at first, picking the piece back up.

 

“Maybe he doesn’t like this kind?” He asked. Ittetsu shrugged. He didn’t know. Koutarou had been on a specific diet for most of the time he was with them while his insides healed. He was just now being introduced with other foods. Maybe he had had it before. Koutarou shuddered slightly in Ittetsu’s arms.

 

“That’s it. You’re alright. No one is going to hurt you.” Ittetsu cradled the pup in his hands. Adjusting the jacket to wrap around him more like a blanket then a tent to cover his face. He put the hood up on both of their jackets to make a sort of cocoon. Koutarou visibly relaxed. “I think that’s a bit too much action for you today, sweetheart. How bout we go home, huh?” He heard Asahi give a little huff, he smiled softly at them.

 

“You think it was the smell of Hinata’s heat that set him off?” Asahi asked. Ittetsu thought. He couldn’t even smell that before he had fallen to the floor. It hit them all like a truck.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“I just thought, that even if we didn’t smell it, maybe because we are used to it, and aren’t looking for it. Because sometimes people with autism have sensory issues that go along with it and he could be more sensitive to that.” Asahi rambled. ITtetsu stared, surprised. He wasn’t expecting that. He’d only been briefed slightly. Doing his own research rather slowly. Asahi’s expression turned mortified. “Oh god, did I say something wrong?”

 

Ittetsu shook himself out of his surprise. “No! No, i’m just surprised you knew. We just got told this week.” Asahi covered his face.

 

“I just, Assumed. My mom is autistic and she hates whenever she has to come to our school because the lights make her eyes hurt.” Koutarou squirmed in his arms. He grabbed around Ittetsu neck and whined.

 

“Oh, I didn’t know that. I just thought she hated your advisor.” Asahi snorted. Koutarou whined again. “I should go. We should go. I have to get him home. Asahi stood up with them.

 

“You’re right.”

 

“Thank you for helping.” Asahi smiled again.

 

“Yeah. anytime.”

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


That night Keishin had come home and joined them in the living room for a movie. Ponyo, Koutarou seemed to like that one the most. Sometimes Ittetsu would catch him humming the tune under his breath whenever he did something. Keishin had said it was cute, he agreed. The pup was curled up against Ittetsu’s side. HE hummed happily along to the background music. Whispering comments under his breath as he watched. Keishin watched with a  grin on his face. Koutarou had never done this in front of him before and he was absolutely giddy. As they got towards the end Koutarou’s eyes flickered to Keishin sitting in his arm chair. Ittetsu felt a tug on his shirt. He looked down. “What is it, hun?” Koutarou scrambled up to whisper in his ear.

 

“Are big’s allowed to hurt people?” the pup’s small voice asked. He didn’t know how to answer that. Becuase it wasn’t yes or no. The system was flawed in how they viewed the lives of alpha’s and beta’s and omega’s. But they weren’t necessarily allowed to hurt people. But sometimes they could get away with that. Of course, this was a traumatized six year old. The grey area’d truth could wait until he was at least in school. Ittetsu shook his head.

 

“No, never. Not alpha’s not beta’s not omega’s, not anybody. Koutarou, nobody is allowed to hurt you ever. If you are scared you just come to me, or somebody you trust.” Koutarou looked over at Keishin again and went back to whispering.

 

“Is he going to?” He asked. Ittetsu shook his head.

 

“Never, he would never do that to you. We care about you, Koutarou. We really care about how you feel, and we want that feeling to be good. He would never hurt you.” Koutarou gave Keishin the longest look yet. He tilted his head to the side and asked out loud.

 

“Why?” It was still in a whisper. But he was no longer by Ittetsu’s ear. He looked puzzled and confused at the prospect of people wanting him to be happy. Lost in his question, Ittetsu didn’t think the pup even realized he wasn’t by his ear anymore.

 

“Why do we care about you? Or why do we want you to be happy?” Koutarou held up two fingers. “We care about you because you are a human being. And..” He trailed off. He looked Keishin in the eyes and drooped his head, Keishin nodded. The smile on his face growing. Ittetsu didn’t want to cry, but he felt like he was going to. “We love you, and we want you to be a part of our family. We consider you family. If you are okay with that Koutarou, we would love to be your family.” Koutarou dropped his head onto his hands.

 

“I can do that?” He asked with a hand over his mouth.

 

“You can do anything. We can’t replace anything and we understand that, but we want to be your home, we want to love you like dads should. And take care of you. We want you to be our family, we want you to be our pup.”

 

“Can I ask for kisses if you are my family?” He had scooted closer to Ittetsu and was now speaking into his shirt.

 

“You can always ask for kisses and hugs. If you want something you can ask us.” Koutarou looked up at him, a wide grin on his face.

 

“Can I ask Suga for kisses?” Ittetsu chuckled.

 

“Yes.” Koutarou latched on tighter.

 

“Can I asked Noya for kisses?” Ittetsu picked him up and brought him so he was sitting on his lap. “Can I ask Hina for kisses?” Ittetsu couldn’t help but laugh at that nickname.

 

“Of course.” Koutarou’s eyes widened.

 

“Can I have a kiss?” He asked finally. Of course he could. It was so adorable, the face he was making. So hopeful, and tired. He really should be going to bed soon. Ittetsu plopped a big wet kiss right on his nose.

 

“There,” He said. Koutarou giggled and touched his nose. He tapped his cheek. Ittetsu kissed him there as well. “And there.” Koutarou pointed to his other cheek. “And there,” Ittetsu kissed his wrists and the palms of his hands. “And there, and there and there. And oh dear! Your turning invisible with all the kisses I’m giving you!” He teased. Koutarou squealed and giggled. Ittetsu blew a raspberry on his arm. Koutarou laughed so hard when he did so, Ittetsu had to do it again. Koutarou crawled up his front and kissed his forehead. 

 

“I want you to be my papa.” He said suddenly.

 

“Yeah?” Koutarou nodded. “And what about Keishin?” Koutarou tapped his chin. Eventually he nodded.

 

“Okay.” Keishin beamed.

 

“I’m so happy you want that, Koutarou.” The pup smiled and nuzzled himself into his front. Ittetsu kissed the top of his head. The sat through a couple more minutes of Ponyo before Koutarou spoke again.

 

“Can I ask Asahi for kisses?” He seemed more timid about this.

 

“If you want, then go ahead.” Koutarou sat up on the couch. He pointed at Keishin.

 

“Can I ask you for kisses?” Itettsu almost fell over. Going on four weeks and Koutarou had yet to talk in the same room, let alone pose a question towards Keishin. A question that involves physical contact.

 

“Of course you can! Absolutely.”

 

“And you won’t hurt me?” The pup asked moving to the end of the couch.

 

“No, I would never do that.” Koutarou smiled. “Would you like a kiss?”

  
“Not right now.” Koutarou said, and laid backdown on Ittetsu lap. Keishin didn’t look disappointed at all. He shouldn’t be. This was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. He’d go to bed and make sure to get a giant hug on the way. For a bad morning it really did wind down to be amazing.


	9. Big and Small

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto is daring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a mess. I kind of messed up the timeline and moved scenes around to make it fit better. Also the scene with Kuroo and Bokuto was absolute SHIIIIT. when i edit this it will probably be better. I couldn't figure out how to end half of these scenes so please forgive me.
> 
> I also realize that i need to be able to write more expression god damn "He laughed, he smiled, he nodded." Like damn me be better.
> 
> Anyways sorry this is a day late. Someone asked me how i identify and i straight cried about it???   
> Okay hope you enjoy!

He still couldn’t go to practice that Saturday. Stuck in his room with the biggest fort he had ever made in his life. Shouyou didn’t know what had come over him but now his bed looked like a squishy castle. It was so different from the minimalist interior he usually kept. Now there were pillows strewn everywhere. And anyone could bet that he used pretty much everything that his mother had bought for him. Except for the perfumes, he didn’t know why, but spritzing even the alpha ones on stuff just made him feel creepy. He blushed at even the thought of it.

 

Now he was sitting in his nest looking up at the sheet he had draped over his head. He was sweating like crazy. Everything was slightly damp, which was absolutely disgusting. Why were heats so sticky? Why did they have to be so messy? It didn’t make sense to him. If they were in those primitive ages what would be the advantage of this much pain from arousal and this much mess? How could you run when every time your thighs brushed together there was this gross sticky feeling. Baths certainly weren’t as available as they were now. It was stupid. At least his hormones had stalled it till this point he guessed. A couple years less of this stupid cycle.

 

He was feeling better. The fifth day, he was told, wasn’t supposed to be the worst but since he seemed to be an irregular case, the main stages might last longer. He groaned and smushed his face into the pillow. Never in his life had he thought this much about sex. Before he never really thought about it except in terms of anatomy. Thinking quite often about what type of dick he would have once they got money for the surgery. He’d often laugh that he would have the option to have a bigger dick than most omega’s. Although mostly to himself. No one else could really relate, or they would just think he was weird. Kageyama would probably hit him. 

 

He had barely left his room at all. His parents were all awkward and worried, leaving him food outside of his door. Not even daring to come in. It didn’t help him feel any better. He tried to avoid going to the restroom until he knew no one would be in the hall. The was a ding from under his pillow. He opened his eyes and rummaged through the mess of blankets to get to his phone.

 

Suga) How are you feeling? You aren’t at practice

 

Shouyou) Awful.

 

Suga) Aww. well come back soon!

 

Shoyuou) Mhmm

 

Suga) Mind if I ask you a question?

 

Shouyou) Shoot.

 

Suga) Are you going to tell the team soon?

 

Shouyou) Tell the team what?

 

Suga) About you being trans.

 

Shouyou) But why would I have to?

 

Suga) Oh shoot. You don’t have to. I was just wondering, i assumed you were going to. Though it’s not like it’s anyone's business.

 

Shouyou) I don’t know. It’s weird. What if they think of me differently?

 

Suga) How would that happen? I don’t.

 

Shouyou) I’ll think about it.

 

Suga) I don’t mean to pressure you. I don’t know a lot about this stuff. But if you ever need to talk don’t hesitate to contact me!

 

Shouyou) Thanks.

  
  


Shouyou rolled over, biting his lip. Everything was so embarrassing. He shoved the pillow over his face and yelled into it. No one else on the team had gone into heat during practice. No one else had to worry about not being able to to breath properly when they bound there chest. No one else but him. Shouyou pouted. He curled in on himself and tried to sleep. Maybe if he could sleep he wouldn’t have to look at whatever anatomy he had down there again and again and again.

 

-oOo-

  
  


Keishin couldn’t help but notice the very subtle and slow progress Koutarou made in just being around him. He hadn’t been able to be alone with him yet, but he could stand closer, talk more freely, and look at him longer. Keishin no longer felt so separated from the pup and from his husband. He couldn’t help the little flutter of joy he felt whenever Koutarou talked to him or around him. A week after Koutarou had agreed to be part of their family Ittetsu stopped him in the hallway before going to sleep. The omega grabbed his hand and looked him lovingly in the eyes. “Thank you.” He whispered before pulling him into a warm and soft kiss. Keishin melted. He’d missed feeling this happy. And this put together for so long. After everything that had happened that year. Losing their baby losing so many of their friends and family, he didn’t realize that it all could be placed back together by this one kid who sparked so much joy in his husbands and his heart.

 

Ittetsu parted and ran a thumb over Keishin’s lips. He breath into the hand caressing him and sighed. “I love you.” He said.

 

“I love you more.” Ittetsu giggled. Keishin squinted his eyes and went in for a hug.

 

“Are you sure about that princess?” Ittetsu’s laugh always reminded him of sea foam. Loud and waxing the shore. Bubbly but soft. Ittetsu pushed him off and shushed him through a breathy giggle.

 

“He’s asleep this time.” HE kissed his loves neck and sweeped him up into his arms. The weight of his pregnancy had almost gone. His breasts still just barely visible through his thin night shirt. He was so beautiful.

 

“Are you sure love?” Ittetsu huffed into his neck, joyously snuggling into his chest. He said the obvious.

 

“My heat is going to come soon.” Keishin nodded and walked him through the door. “Koutarou can’t handle the scent. What do you think we should do?” Keishin placed him down on the bed, rolling over to lay down beside him.

 

“We still have a couple weeks. We can figure it out by then.” He said and pressed his nose into his lovers neck. Ittetsu snuggled into him as well. Pressing his lips lightly to the back of his hand.

 

“I guess you’re right.” They didn’t even get a chance to get under the covers before they fell asleep in eachothers arms.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Asahi nearly jumped when he felt the tug on his shirt. He turned around and saw the small timid stature of Bokuto. “Hello.” He said. He felt Noya looking over his shoulder with the biggest shit eating grin. “You need anything?” Bokuto blushed and swung his body from left to right, left to right. He looked up at Noya and ran behind him. Noya laughed and shielded him. Bokuto still looked up at him.

 

“Hi.” He said. He went deep red and hid his face in Noya’s shirt. “Hi.” He repeated, though quieter. Asahi beamed. Bokuto had been talking a little bit more around the team, but mostly just to the omega’s and Noya. Tanaka had been with the alpha’s feeling left out. He regularly pouted about it. But now Asahi was being spoken too.

 

“Hi.” He responded. Bokuto looked up at him and blushed. He shook his head and shoved his face deeper into Noya’s shirt. The beta let out a cackle and jumped around the pup to get him in front.

 

“You wanted to talk to Asahi right? Anything specific?” Bokuto nodded, he wrapped his arms as far as they could around Noya’s waist. Asahi didn’t really know how to act. He stood awkwardly staring at the two waiting for whatever Bokuto wanted to stay. He couldn’t stop himself from biting the insides of his lip.

 

“Can I have candy?” he peeked around the side of Noya. The two teenaers both started to laugh. Bokuto backed up and covered his face. He looked like he was about to cry. “Sorry.” He said. And started to shake. Asahi quickly moved forward to comfort him.

 

“No, no, no you’re perfectly fine. Yes you can have candy. I just wasn’t expecting you to ask that.”Asahi smiled and rummaged through his bag. He always kept a little treat in there. With how many times he ended up at Noya’s after practice he needed bribing material for that many kids, especially if he wanted Noya and him to be left alone. He brought out three. “Here, take these.” He said. Bokuto uncovered his face. Looking at the hand full of sweets he grew red, his shoulder hiked up to his ears he timidly extended his hand to grab them. “It’s okay, I won’t bite.” Bokuto snatched the treats from his hand and looked over to where Takeda was trying not to seem so obvious while watching them. Glancing back and forth between his pup Yamaguchi. Bokuto shoved the candy in his jeans. He looked between Noya and Asahi again. He flapped his hands and hummed.

 

“You want to say anything else?” Noya asked. Obviously hinting at a thank you or something. Asahi didn’t expect it. He knew already. Bokuto flapped faster and looked at his feet.

 

“S-Sorry.” He whispered. Noya sighed and bent down next do him.

 

“No, you don’t have to be sorry.” He laughed a little. “I meant, thank you, would you like to say thank you?” Bokuto furrowed his brow, and then qickly changed between confused to frantic. Tears prickled at his eyes and his face had gone completely red, he stopped flapping and gripped his elbows.

 

“Sorry.” He said. “Sorry, sir.” The pup started to sink in on himself. Shielding his body from whatever he thought that Asahi or Noya would do to him. Noya looked horrified with what just happened.

 

“No, Bokuto, you’re okay, you’re fine. No one’s mad at you. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry. Please be okay.” Asahi had never seen Noya panic so much over something. He was trying to console him with his arms hugging the air around the pup but he knew he couldn’t touch him. He looked at Asahi desperately for his help. Noya sagged as well.

 

“Bokuto, can I hug you?” Asahi asked before he was able to fully think it through. He just felt like the pup really needed a hug. Bokuto held his breath and looked up at him, he nodded through his hiccups and covered his face again. Asahi wrapped the pup up in his arms. Not to hard, but firm. Deep pressure was something he always saw his dad do when his mom was having a hard time. Bokuto was stiff in his arms, shaking with his sobs. But as a little time went by he relaxed, little by little. Bokuto was still hiccuping, though quite a bit less, when Asahi put him back down. “Better?” He asked.

 

“Are you mad at me?” It was so quiet, and so scared. Asahi clenched his teeth.

 

“Of course i’m not mad at you.” Bokuto sobbed heavily and sat down. “You are doing just fine.” The pup nodded and leaned into Noya who was at his side.

 

“Is he okay?” Takeda was suddenly standing over the three of them.

 

“Just a small panic.” Noya replied. “Sorry.” Takeda raised an eyebrow.

 

“Why are you sorry?” Noya looked timid. Not a usual expression he had.

 

“I was trying to get him to say thank you.” Takeda laughed.

 

“Yeah, he’s working on it. You’re fine.” Noya let out a breath he had seemed to be holding. 

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Ai watched as Takeda dropped off his pup at the house. He seemed apprehensive. Anxious, and a lot more. She understood of course. Her own mother had had the same feelings. But they had talked on the phone for hours about this, making sure that they had a plan and everything. Koutarou was supposed to start going places without Takeda, being able to be on his own if he wanted to go to school that winter. Ai wheeled herself over to her son, who was now holding a pile of toys in his arms with the biggest grin on his face. He had presented just after his father had left them. He doesn’t really remember him she had realized. He was a drunk bastard anyhow. Doesn’t even pay child support. She patted his head and waited in the doorway as Takeda brought his son over.

 

Koutarou was a mess after Takeda had left. He was crying so hard Ai was worried he wouldn’t be able to breath. She watched her son sit down next to the crying pup and start to rub his back. “It’s okay. Your dad is going to come back. I promise.” Koutarou sobbed harder into his hands. Sometimes he just had to get it out, he’d adjust soon enough. Tetsurou pouted his lip and continued on talking about things that would seemingly make Koutarou feel better. “It’s okay Kou.” The pup sobbed and sobbed. “Do you want a hug?” Tetsurou asked. BEfore there was any physical or verbal response, the pup lept into her son's arms. Gripping him so tight she saw, momentarily, the breath leave her son's body. Tetsurou grinned after a while, and held on back. “There there.” He said, nuzzling his head into the pups shoulder. Ai couldn’t help the smile on her face. She wheeled herself over the kitchen.

 

“Kou? Would you like something to eat?”

 

-oOo-

  
  


Keishin sat in the lumpy polka dotted couch seat. Crossing his legs to try and distract himself from just how uncomfortably warm and dusty the office was. They had started going to Dr. Yuzuru a week after that dreadful night in the hospital. Contrary to what others might believe, he was actually the one to suggest it. Ittetsu hadn’t gone out of their bedroom at all and Keishin was barely able to look the team in the eyes. He had worked himself bone dry. So he took them to his office. Dr. Yuzuru was an understanding man. They had bi weekly appointments, Keishin didn’t look forward to them but he knew that they both needed them. Even after all this time the ache he felt when he thought about what had happened felt almost unbearable.

 

Ittetsu held onto his hand tightly. He had dropped Koutarou off at a friend's house. HE was extremely anxious about it, Keishin could tell by the way he wouldn’t stop fidgeting with his knee. The last session they had brought Koutarou along with them. Dr. Yuzuru was more than accommodating. But now he looked at the two of them with a grin on his face. He was a friendly man, in his late forties, everything was starting to go white. He asked with a rich tone, “So where is Bokuto today?” Ittetsu’s knee bounced faster, Keishin placed his hand on it.

 

“He’s with a friend today.” Keishin answered. Ittetsu quickly butted in.

 

“His psychologist told us that we should start trying to get him to be able to be places without me. So he can start school.” Ittetsu spoke fast. Another nervous habit.

 

“Does this worry you?” Ittetsu nodded, leaning into Keishin more. “Do you want to talk about that?” Ittetsu shook his head.

 

“It’ll be fine. I have everything planned out.” Dr. Yuzuru smiled and nodded. There was a stiff silence. The sound machines in the hallway let out wispy yawns. Keishin rubbed circles into the back of Ittetsu’s palm. Trying to calm him down.

 

“So your heat should be coming soon. I’m assuming Bokuto will have to be out of the house for that? Considering what you have said.”Ittetsu visibly stilled next to him. He let out a long breath and nodded. “Do you have any plans for what you are going to do?”Ittetsu didn’t say anything. They hadn’t talked about it. Even before Koutarou had come into their lives the prospect of a heat after all that happened set them both on edge. It was a sort of reminder. A taunt it almost felt like. Dr. Yuzuru nodded. “I understand how you must be feeling about this. But may i suggest something?” The pair of them nodded. “This will be a good exercise for everyone. I want you to enjoy yourselves. For the first week I want you to go somewhere. Have fun. The first heat after a miscarriage is very important. We need to make it an enjoyable experience for you.” Keishin felt kind of guilty when he thought about it. But neither of them had any other expenses to deal with. Some hospital bills, but they had a savings for vacation for a honeymoon they never actually went. Getting pregnant before the wedding had even been planned fully. He guessed it would be nice. Someone would need to cover for him at the shop, take care of Kou, practice. There was so much. Either way they both nodded again. “Do you have anyone in mind that would be okay taking care of Kou for that week?”

 

“How about Ai?” KEshin asked, Ittetsu shook his head.

 

“No she has a family thing and works late nights. Koutarou couldn’t handle that much.” Keishin thought. Who else did they know? His grandfather. But even the voice on the phone made Kou cry. Hana, but she lived across town and would be way to swamped in work to be able to take care of him. Ittetsu’s parents lived in the next town over and still weren’t on speaking terms with their son. Keishin audibly sighed, subconsciously leaning closer to his husband. Most of their friends had faded out of their lives. If they could do they he certainly wouldn’t trust them with his pup. “Sugawara and Koutarou get along. What if we ask some people from the team. I know it’s kind of weird, but, I don’t know anyone.”

 

Before Keishin responded Dr. Yuzuru butted in. “If it’s your kids from the team i’d ask several. I think making sure Koutarou can stay at your house is important. Anyone else that might be an option?”

 

“Well, Nishinoya is good with him.” He found himself saying.

 

“I think that’s about it as far as options go… Asahi maybe, but Koutarou just started being okay around him. Tsukishima maybe. Koutarou likes him a lot, even if they haven’t talked much.” Dr. Yuzuru was grinning. Keishin rubbed at his eyes, they’d really have to get to know some people there own age.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Koutarou had been on a roll with asking questions during his therapy session. And after too. The ones that took less explaining and less hurt in his chest were done in the office and the rest were done in the car. It was the most interesting thing. He didn’t realize how many things Koutarou had missed and had been misinformed of. He bounced in his carseat and he spewed off as many questions as he could at them. They were innocent enough until he asked “Do I have to let Bigs kiss me in bad places?” Keishin looked at Ittetsu, he didn’t want this question to be something his pup had to ask them. His husband turned slightly in his seat so he could look at the pup.

 

“No. You never have to let anyone kiss you in bad places. You never have to let anyone touch you in any way ever. Koutarou, the body you have is yours, and nobody but you can decide what happens to it. You can scream and yell no as loud and as many times as you want or need to to feel safe. And you are so young, no one should ever be kissing you like that. Not ever. You tell us if someone does that to you, or tells you they want to. That kind of behavior is unacceptable.” Koutarou looked at him with his eyes wide. He tilted his head to the side and furrowed his brow.

 

“Not even big papa?” Keishin felt his stomach roll with the thought that his pup would think he could do that to him.

 

“Never. No one will ever do that to you again. Especially not us. You can trust us with anything. We will never hurt you.” Koutarou put his hand on his chin. He gave a toothy smile. He had lost another tooth, the bottom one. This time he didn’t swallow it.

 

“Okay.” He nodded. “No big will do that? And if I ask for kisses they won’t be bad kisses?”

 

“Only good kisses, Only the kisses you want, that you say are okay.” Koutarou bit down on the stuffed shark he held in his arms.  “How you feel matters to us.”

 

“Okay.” He said through a breath. He curled his legs up to his chest and smiled. “I’m happy.” He said. Ittetsu reached for his hand, Koutarou grabbed it.

 

“I’m glad.”

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Bokuto zoomed into the gym. His arms out like an airplane. He ran over to where Noya, Tanaka and Asahi were chatting away and grabbed onto Noya. He libero stumbled slightly, holding onto Asahi’s shoulder to keep him upright. Bokuto giggled and leaned out from holding Noya’s shirt and poked Asahi in the hip. He squealed and covered his face with his hands. He then uncovered his face and pointed. “I can touch you!” He yelled. He began clapping his hands and stomping his feet humming happily.

 

“Goodmorning, Bokuto.” Tanaka laughed. “I’m guessing it’s a good one.” Bokuto nodded and grabbed onto Noya’s shirt again. When he smiled they could see the missing teeth the pup was progressively losing. Bokuto leaned over and poked Tanaka in the stomach.

 

“You can’t hurt me.” He said happily and twirled grabbing quickly back onto Noya’s hand. He looked up at the libero’s face and grinned. “Do you want to see something cool?” He asked.

 

“Of course, I want to see something cool!” Bokuto walked straight up to Asahi and smiled.

 

“Can I have a hug?” Asahi looked over at Takeda, who smiled and nodded. Asahi bent down and gave the pup a hug. Bokuto hugged back. He was so small in his arms, he didn’t notice before. Bokuto let go and jumped over to Noya. “See!” Noya had a huge sparkling smile on. His stomach fluttered.

 

“Bokuto! That is so cool!” Noya held out his arms in excitement.

 

“And no one hurt me!” Asahi frowned.

 

“I could never hurt you. You’re too precious.” Asahi hadn’t realized he had said it out loud. Noya was snickering at his embarrassment. Tanaka was straight up cackling. Bokuto turned around and bit down on his fingers.

 

“Precious.” He repeated in a whisper. “I’m too precious.” He said again. He whipped around again and tugged on Noya’s shirt. “I’m precious!” He squeaked. Asahi couldn’t help but laugh a little at his enthusiasm.

 

“Yes you are!” Tanaka laughed. Bokuto blushed and giggled. He flapped his hands. Asahi looked over at the bench and saw Takeda sneaking a glance in their direction. It was time they should start. Bokuto was swaying side to side with a cheeky grin on his face. Tanaka was complimenting him so much he had grown cherry red. Noya was holding in a cackle. Asahi waved at Takeda who startled and looked away. Tanaka seemed to catch on. “Want me to walk you back over to Takeda?” Bokuto nodded and happily grabbed hold of Tanaka’s hand.

 

Noya finally let out his giggle. He gave Asahi this look, this hawk eyed look, and before Asahi could respond he was being pulled down so Noya could ruffle his hair. “You giant baby, you. Finally aren’t so awkward that he can’t be around you!” Noya eventually stopped and punched him in the arm. The libero sighed and pointed towards Daichi who was talking with Keishin. “Better get ready then?”

 

“Yeah.”


	10. Pj's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto goes to the library  
> Suga is a tease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoep this is a good chapter. I actually like it. Enjoy!

A small boy sat in a music room, staring down at the paper in front of him. His parents had dropped him off at the center and he sat in the room with several other kids trying to figure out what the symbols on the paper wanted him to do. One, one, one, two, one, three, two, four, three, three, one. He had to change the letters to numbers, A’s and B’s didn’t make as much sense as how many fingers were on the strings. He was scolded for writing in his book, but the teacher carried on quickly after that. He swung his legs back and forth. This was boring. He thought. So boring. He wanted to go outside and play. Like his friends got to. He hated first grade, he hated everything about it. He fiddled with his bow hand, trying to find a way that didn’t make his wrist ache. He wished that they could stand up, his whole body was vibrating. Why did he have to learn the viola in the first place?

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


They had decided to have an alpha day. Well that’s what they were calling it. Ittetsu had to work extra late that sunday because he was still so far behind. Parent meetings, phone calls to teachers, administrators, parents. And not to mention setting up something for the team soon. If they kept going against themselves practice would almost be pointless. So, instead of Koutarou being in that muggy office all day, they had decided to see if he would be okay spending the day with Keishin. In short, he was not.

 

Ittetsu had done their goodbye ritual they had planned. His psychologist told them that for selectively mute kids it was a good idea to have some sort of comfort when put into a stressful situation, a point of control and ease. But he hadn’t cried, not exactly. He got more mad at him then anything, and ran off to his room to brood. Keishin sat outside the door reading one of the children's books left on the kitchen counter. Halfway through the book Koutarou had creaked open the door and peeked his head out. And by the time Keishin was done reading, Koutarou had fallen asleep on the floor. His hair strewn about of the carpet, he made little mewls in his sleep, his hands tucked under his chin. Keishin stayed like that for a little while longer. His butt getting sore. But twenty minutes of playing on his phone on the ground finally broke him. Koutarou woke up when Keishin moved. Peering up at him through his thick eyelashes, he rubbed his eyes and yawned, smacking his mouth to get the sleep out. Keishin wanted to take him to the library. It was something he always did. Checking out at least fifteen books at a time and reading non of them. Maybe it was less of a nostalgic thing, and more of that he didn’t want to be stuck in the house all day and had come up with very little ideas.

 

“Wakey wakey eggs and bakey.” He said. Koutarou frowned and padded the floor with his hands. “Think we can get you dressed and head out for today?” They had gotten up a little earlier then usual to have breakfast. Koutarou didn’t want to change out of his pajamas then. He kept telling the two of them that it wasn’t time to be awake yet, and pouting all throughout breakfast. Koutarou wrapped his arms around himself protectively. “Want some privacy?” Koutarou furrowed his eyebrows and whined as he went back into his room and shut the door. Keishin kept the sigh from running from his lips. It was that kind of day. Hopefully his pup would dress himself and come out again. But if it took longer than twenty minutes Keishin would go in and help him.

 

Twenty minutes later Keishin found himself entering the pups room. Koutarou had put on a fresh shirt, but had kept his light blue fuzzy pajama pants on. HE rocked side to side on the floor covering his face and humming. It looked to be more out of frustration then fear or sadness, definitely not happiness. Keishin sat down next to him. “Is something wrong, Kou?” Koutarou scooted away. Keishin ignored it. Best not to point out these things. “Do you want to put on some daytime pants?” He barely had time to finish the sentence before the pup stood up and whipped off his pants, flinging them at the door. Keishin was a little more than surprised at the angry outburst. Koutarou stomped over to his dresser and pathetically pawed at the handle to pull it out. He teared up. The pup sniffled and turned to look at Keishin. He whined and covered his head protectively. It wasn’t a good day. It was the waking up on the wrong side of the bed sort of day. “Honey, tell me what’s wrong, and I can help you.”

 

“I want the pants to be soft.” He whined out. It was so high pitched and so tearful, and such an easy solution. Keishin had no qualms with his pup wearing soft and fuzzy pajama pants all day. Who cared if it was inappropriate to societal norms. His baby wanted to wear fuzzy pants, you could bet his goddamn ass that he was going to wear fuzzy pants and he was going to be happy about it. Keishin crawled forward and sifted through the pajama drawer. He found the other pair of pajama pants. These ones had little unicorns on them. Koutarou had gotten so excited about them in the store that he had started to scream. It was embarrassing, but they knew what it meant. No matter how many times another parent or adult would go up to them and give them a lecture on spoiling their pup. Since taking in Koutarou, Keishin was thoroughly convinced that humans sucked. He handed the pajama bottoms to Koutarou, who flung himself forward and started hugging the pants while laying on Keishins lap. Keishin rolled his eyes and laughed. This pup was a silly one. Keishin helped to put the pants on Koutarou, who was to teary eyed to focus on putting them on himself.

 

Keishin stood up and surveyed the room. “Would you like to bring something with you to the library?” Koutarou rubbed at his nose and held on to his fluffy green jacket. He nodded and hopped onto his bed. He hopped back off of the bed holding on tightly to a stuffed owl he had gotten as a gift from Hana. “You all set?” He asked. Koutarou nodded and leaned into Keishin’s side, rubbing his tear stained face on his shirt. Keishin ruffled the pups hair and dragged him out of the house. They’d walk.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


The small boy stood in the animal part of the kids section. Crouching down to look at the covers of the large stacks of picks he had pulled out. Maybe if he was quick enough the librarian wouldn’t get mad if he didn’t remember where all of these went. His parents wouldn’t be back for another hour. He mumbled quietly to himself as he flipped through the glossy pages, stopping every once and awhile to try and ingrain a picture in his mind.

 

This happened every sunday. He’d go to practice in the morning like he did on weekends, but unlike saturday's his parents had work, and he didn’t have any other things to do. So he would wait in the library across the street from the studio for three hours doing whatever work his tutor assigned him, or, more often than not, look through look through an entire section of books. He was an easy child to mind. All the librarians knew him by name and greeted him when he came in. Not that they particularly liked him, they didn’t not like him, it’s just that Keiji kept to himself mostly. He didn’t talk to any of the other kids, he didn’t make a big mess, and if he did he always tried to put it back before anyone noticed. And he was really quiet. The type of kid you would read about in books that always went missing. He always had something to do and was always extremely bored with what it was. So he ran off by himself. His parents didn’t often notice unless he missed a lesson or performed badly on his school work. So as often as he could he would try to go on a little adventure. Most of the time that adventure was to find the darkest spot in the place he was that he could and just sit down and imagine what it would be like to be somewhere else.

 

There was the pattern of a skip coming his way. He ignored it. No one would tell on him if they were just a kid. He’d seen another little girl pull out all of the pink books and stack them in a circle around the table. No one told on her. He kept turning the pages. “Kou, be careful.” Came the low voice of an adult. Keiji stiffened and turned around. Maybe if he sat in front of the pile no one would get mad at him. The skipping stopped, and he came face to face with the over eager face of a golden eyed omegan boy. Keiji stared up at him. He was forgetting something wasn’t he. Something his mom would scold him for. The boy clapped his hands together and got on his knees. “Hi.” Keiji remembered that he had to wave. He did that and then added after an awkward pause.

 

“Hi.” The adult walked over to them and Keiji couldn’t help but feel his heart race up. “I put the books back.” He said hastily. Already putting away the one he was holding. The adult blinked.

 

“Oh no, it’s okay.” Keiji grimaced and looked over at the boy again. He was confused. The other kids usually left him alone.

 

“Hi.” He said again for no particular reason. “I’m Akaashi.” There was another long pause. The boy wasn’t responding. Wasn’t he supposed to respond. Keiji held the book to his chest. Maybe if he continued not to talk he could hide in the book pile and they would leave him alone. “I’m five - five years old - years old.” He added. The boy brightened.

 

“I’m six!” He squeaked. And the adult hushed him.

 

“We got to keep quiet, hun, we are in a library. Can you do that?” The boy pouted but nodded. The adult caught Keiji staring at him and smiled. “This is Bokuto. I’m Ukai. I hope we aren’t bothering you kiddo.” The adult smiled. Keiji shook his head. He was being bothered, but it would be rude to say that. The boy, Bokuto, laughed at this and crawled a little closer. He pointed at a book in the pile. The one with the giant picture of an eagle on it. Did he want to read it? Keiji wanted to take that one home. But he handed it over to him anyways. It’s not like the library didn’t have another copy anyways. Bokuto took the book, running his fingers along the cover. He looked enraptured with the over as it is, but he looked back up with an expression of awe.

 

“You’re pretty.” He said suddenly. Keiji scrunched his nose. How was he supposed to take that? He vaguely remembered that alpha’s weren’t supposed to be called pretty. But he would call this boy pretty, so why was it bad? He tapped his chin and thought.

 

Eventually he responded. “You are - you are pretty too - too.” Yes, that seemed...okay. Right? His mom wouldn’t get mad at him if he told this boy he was pretty? He was really really close, and although Keiji didn’t like the proximity he couldn’t deny that the giant round eyes and toothy grin made the omega boy very pretty. He wondered why he was pretty. Keiji eyed the adult behind the boy. He bit his lip when he saw that the adult was laughing. So he did do something wrong then? “Sorry.” He added. The boy tilted his head to the side. “Erm.” Keiji scooted to the side and tried to stand up. The omega boy watched him. “I have to - i have - go. Mm.” He grabbed the three books he found closest to him. He thumbed at the library card in his pocket and tried avoiding eye contact. “My Mama- she’s coming. Soon. good bye- goodbye.” Keiji all but ran away from the pair. He didn’t know why he felt so scared right now. He clenched his chest. “I want to go home.” He whispered.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Keishin giggled when Koutarou came up to him with a pile of books he could barely lift all on birds. The pup they had run into earlier could faintly be seen hiding under a table staring up at the underside of the table. Keishin was setting up a library card for Koutarou when he noticed a pinched looking woman in the doorway. Her suit hugged her curveless figure tightly. Her hair was pulled back so far into a bun that Keishin was worried that it would tear her skin off. She surveyed the room. Her eyebrows raised when she set eyes on the table the pup was hiding under.  Her lips pursed tighter, her lipstick being smeared slightly. Keishin couldn’t help but peek a glance as she pulled the pup out from under the table by the wrist. The pup seemed to be holding his breath. Keishin quickly averted his eyes back to the library card he was helping Koutarou sign. He wrote his name for him, but he was asking if he could spell it for him. They left the library with eight books. Koutarou held three in his arms. Trying to skip all the way to the car.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Ryuu sat next to him on the bed. Yuu had his feet propped up on the wall and his hands on his stomach. Ryuu was playing a game he had bought a while ago. He was bummed. Asahi was supposed to join them but ended up having a family emergency. Saeko was in the other room singing along loudly to her music. “What do you think Asahi’s emergency was?” He asked. Ryuu groaned and paused the game

 

“You’ve asked me this three times already. If you’re that concerned just call him.” Ryuu put emphasis on the last two words.

 

“No that would be rude.” He really wish that Asahi was here though. It was there last year and they had spent the least amount of time together. He wasn’t looking forward to his senior going off to college without him. What was he going to do with out his volleyball guardian angel? Tanaka scoffed and smirked.

 

“You’re ridiculous” Yuu sat up quickly. “I can’t believe he hasn’t noticed how much you cling to him.” Yuu grunted and crossed his arms. He hadn’t been that clingy. He leaned back against the wall, his spine rolling against the popcorn texture. No more clingy then he was with anyone else.

 

“I haven’t be-” Ryuu cut in, throwing the controller down onto the matress.

 

“if you like guys just tell me! I’ve been friends with you forever. I know you like Asahi, I know you like guys, I know you like alphas, I know.” Tanaka was laughing awkwardly, hiding his exasperation through the facade of humor. Yuu let his mouth hang open. He wrapped his arms around himself. “I don’t care. I like Kiyoko but I can't deny that sometimes when I look at a cute little omegan guy in the hall I don't get a little flustered. Just tell me these things, bro.” Ryuu’s humor was replaced with a little bit of hurt. Yuu felt his heart sink. It wasn't like he was scared well maybe he was. He didn't know why he hid it.

 

“you like guy omegas?” he asked timidly. A smile poking at his lips. Ryuu grinned and nodded. Yuu didn't know that. “why?” he found himself asking. Ryuu tilted his head to the side.

 

“They just have this sweet scent. And everyone is so different and deals with different things and they have this amazing perspective on how society works. And it's just fascinating how much society has shaped everyone's perspective on male omegas to be useless diminutive fags, but it's not, they aren't that. They are people and that's amazing.” Yuu wasn't expecting such a well thought out answer. His next question turned cheeky in his mouth and he rolled it around on his tongue for a minute before asking.

 

“So what's your opinion on Hinata then?” Ryuu’s stature did not change.

 

“He’s nice. But I don't see him as a romantic interest. More like a friend I want to protect… if that makes sense? Ehh I don't want to sound weird and this conversation was about you in the first place. Why do you like alphas?” Yuu blushed. He didn't really think of it like that. When he watched porn he mostly just watched beta porn… it was embarrassing but Asahi was really the only person he had an actual crush on, ever. He rubbed at his thumbs and smiled small.

 

“I just like Asahi.” Ryuu smirked. He picked up his controller and resumed the game.

 

“damn right you do.” Yuu scoffed and threw a pillow at him. Watching Ryuu’s character die on screen. His friend squeaked and fell backwards on tk the bed. Ryuu was howling with laughter. “You want to kiss him.” he laughed throw the pillow being slammed repeatedly at his body. “you want him to strip. Take it off!!” Yuu was beat red and so he continued to slam the pillow into his face. “You want him to knot you!”

 

“Shut the fuck up you goddamn asshole!” Ryuu yelled and rolled off the bed and onto the floor. Clutching his stomach as he was laughing so much.

 

“The magnificent homo boyo Yuu wants the daddy-o Asahi Azumane to have the sexy times with him.” he said in an announcer's voice. Yuu held his face in his hands as he fell to the side.

 

“we aren't friends anymore.” he said. Ryuu gasped and sat up, clutching at his chest.

 

“you're breaking up with me?” Yuu stifled his laughter.

 

“Yes.” Ryuu faked a sniffle.

 

“Ten years of couples therapy out the window. What about the children Yuu!? What about our children! I demand Hinata as mine.” Yuu snorted.

 

“you're ridiculous.” Ryuu stood up and stretched.

 

“that's what i'm here for.” he fell backward onto the bed and brought Yuu up into a cuddle. “Thanks for finally telling me. I was getting restless waiting.” Yuu nodded.

 

“yeah. Sorry.” Ryuu shrugged.

 

“meh, it's cool. But I want to see you play this game because I suck ass at it.” Yuu laughed and grabbed the controller. He beat the supposedly hard mission in under ten minutes.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Koushi had agreed. It really didn’t mess with his schedule. He enjoyed being away from home, and Bokuto was a cute pup, doing his work at Takeda and Ukai’s house wouldn’t really change to much around for him. So he agreed to do it for the first four days of the week.

 

He walked home linking his arm around Daichi’s. He was scrolling through the team chat. Hinata and Noya were spamming it with memes. He was trying to find one to add...He laughed when he heard the grunt come from Daichi. His phone hadn’t stopped buzzing for a good two minutes. “I swear to god, I’m going to kill those two.” Daichi took out his phone just as Koushi had sent his picture. The alpha glared at him and Koushi burst out into a bark of laughter.

 

“What? You don’t like my jokes or something?” DAichi rolled his eyes.

 

“I hate you.” Koushi pouted. He leaned in closer, resting his chin on Daichi’s shoulder. They waited for the train to pass. Koushi blew on his neck. He could see the shivers coursing through him.

 

“I’m hurt.” Daichi smirked.

 

“Dork.” He said as he turned his face away. Koushi completely let go of his boyfriend and put his hands in his pockets. He sighed and eyed Daichi out of the corner of his eyes.

 

“Guess i won’t come to yours today. Won’t be able to show you the underwear i bought.” Daichi turned beat red.

 

“W-what?” He asked. Koushi just sighed and rolled his eyes.

 

“No point in telling you now. I even put them on this morning. What a shame.” Koushi chuckled when his arm was pulled to connect with Daichi’s again. “Woa woa alpha boy. Protective much?” Daichi blushed. Before he could say anything Koushi leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Your house then?”

 

The voice that came out of his boyfriend was crackly and high pitched. “Uh, y-yeah.” Koushi twirled his fingers around the alpha’s hand and smiled. He really couldn’t have picked a better guy.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Ittetsu had seen the marks while they were getting dressed that morning. Shallow, scabby scratch marks all over his stomach. Ittetsu had paused while helping the pup straighten his shirt. He kneeled down and ran a hand over the scabs. Koutarou jumped back. His lip quivering. He didn’t want them to be what he knew they were. “Honey, did you do that to yourself?” Koutarou looked around frantically, his nose twitching, his eyes starting to water.

 

“Are you mad?” Ittetsu held back the tears threatening to spill from his own eyes. He shook his head.

 

“No, Kou, I would never hate you.” Ittetsu sighed when he saw his pup’s lip began to quiver, and the tears beginning to spill. Ittetsu crawled forward and held his arms out. “I just don’t want you to hurt yourself, hun.” Koutarou fell forward into his arms and cried. “Do you know why you did it, sweetie?” Koutarou shook his head.

 

“I’m scared.” He wailed into his neck. Ittetsu couldn’t hold back his tears anymore.

  
“I know, honey, I know. I’m sorry.” He tried to control his cries, wanting to comfort Koutarou but Keishin had sensed the problem and came up to the room with some food and some hot chocolate. It was enough to distract Koutarou, and Keishin’s arms around him as they ate was enough to console him.


	11. Babysitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takeda goes into heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late  
> I am going to try to update this either once a week or every other week since i am going to be working again on my two other fics. at least until i finish ACT I of catching my breath.  
> Also this is a shitty chaoter i'm sorry it's my birthday this coming wednesday and i did all of my celebrating this weekend but i still wanted to get SOMETHING out.

 

Koutarou cuddled into Kuroo’s chest as they watched the movie. They had been like that with each other every time they had hung out so far. Granted it was only their third time. Koutarou had talked a little, answering questions and able to keep a conversation going but he rarely started one. Until one night when Ai and Takeda went to go have dinner together. Ukai was in another room and Koutarou was scenting Kuroo and ever so sleepy from the day. “Do you like to pretend you are in another place?” Kuroo answered with his eyes glued to the TV.

 

“Yeah, I like playing pretend.” Koutarou shook his head against the alpha pups skin.

 

“No, not pretend. Not like when we play princes. I want to be away sometimes. Even if being away means I get more scared. Do you?” Kuroo looked down at his friend sitting on his lap.

 

“Sorry Kou, I don’t.” Koutarou looked up at him with intense worry.

 

“Does that make me wrong?” He asked, his voice strained and his lips quivering.

 

“You’re just weird. But I like that. I like you a lot.” Koutarou smiled and wrapped himself around his friend like a monkey.

 

“I love you.” He emphasized the love and made Kuroo blush. The omega giggled and scented.

 

“I guess I love you too, then.” Kuroo joined in on the laughter and scented his friend back. They both fell asleep on the couch before their parents got back. To find them all tuckered out and tangled in each other.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Bokuto skipped into the gym. Riding high on a good morning, and lunged at Asahi’s legs. HE let go after a few seconds and stood on his tip toes. He fiddled with his hands behind his back. “Do you see?” Asahi looked up and saw that the pups hair, what little of it that he had, was pulled into a tight ponytail in the front. Asahi smiled.

 

“You look very nice, Bokuto.” Hinata stood beside him with a cheesy grin. He hadn’t stopped his jumping since he had gotten back. Even after an entire week. It’s like his body had saved up energy just for volleyball and he was going to explode if he didn’t keep moving. Bokuto swayed back and forth but clapped his hands over his face as soon as Asahi spoke. Hinata put his hands on his knees and bent down.

 

“You look like a real ace with that hairdo.” The ginger looked back at Asahi and gave him a big thumbs up. Bokuto pulled his hands down, eyes sparkling in awe at the two boys in front of him. His whole body shook and all of a sudden he started to cry. Asahi panicked for a minute before he saw the pup jump straight into his arms. Hinata looked stunned for a second, his face soon grew into a howling gleam. “HA! Asahi!” He pointed. Bokuto rubbed his face into Asahi’s neck. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little uncomfortable. The only people he’s ever scented were his family. And maybe he did a little when Noya fell asleep on his shoulder on the bus... He didn’t really know what to do other then let the pup do his thing. Takeda caught his eye and realization sprung on him. His eyebrows raised and he rushed over.

 

“Hey, Kou, honey, want to come over and color with me?” Bokuto looked up and quivered his lip. Asahi was met with golden eyes boring into his soul. The pup quickly broke the eye contact and looked back at Takeda.

 

“I want to play.” Bokuto said with the utmost desperation. He wriggled in Asahi’s grasp, so the ace set him down. Before walking over to Takeda, the pup turned towards him again. “I want to play like him.” he looked over at Hinata after he said this, “And you.” Hinata flushed bright red, playing off his surprise by nervously rubbing his neck.

 

Ukai grinned with pride a little ways away. Takeda looked back him and rolled his eyes. “Of course, Kou, you can play. We’ll play after practice.” Bokuto tilted his head to the side, clasping his hands in front. 

 

“After?” Takeda nodded. The pup mimicked the movement and did a little hop on his way over. He grabbed Takeda’s arms with both hands and stared up at him. “I want to jump really high.”

 

“You know, I bet you will be able to soon.” The pup squealed and ran over to the bench. The team could hear faintly the exasperated sigh from the omega.

 

“I didn’t even know what a block was last summer.”

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Shouyou had decided. Irregular and painful heats were a side effect of his hormones, his binder sometimes made him faint. And dressing in the bathrooms and coming up with excuses for that was getting to exhausting. Kageyama knew, Sugawara knew, Takeda probably knew if he had looked at his school file. But he just didn’t want to hide it anymore. He let out a shaky breath as he entered the club room. Fumbling with his hands as he both tried to warm them up, and focus on something other than prying eyes. Suga caught on immediately and coughed loudly enough to get everyone to pay attention. The team all looked toward him. Eyebrows raised. Suga gave him an encouraging look. He exhaled. “I wanted to tell you something,” He couldn’t help but look down at his feet as he said this. “Why I change in the stalls, why sometimes I lose my breath too fast, and why… why I didn’t know my- my heat was coming…” He whispered the last part and started to tense up to the point where he only realized he wasn’t breathing when Suga laid a steady hand on his back. “I- I’m trans.” No one said anything. Seeming to take it in. “I just wanted to tell you because if anything like that ever happens again it’s not because I’m trying to be stupid or or if you thought something else was going on…” Noya had once asked him if everything was alright with his home life. After a particularly bad fall he had taken on his bike.

 

“Okay,” Daichi said, standing up, “Thank you for trusting us with this.” Daichi patted him on his shoulder. It was weird, but so much easier than he thought it would be. He gulped and gave a nervous chuckle.

 

“You are all okay with this?” He asked. He honestly was expecting at least one disgusted look. Aside from Kageyama, he always looked angry and or disgusted. Both Noya and Tanaka jumped up from their seats and gave him a suffocating hug.

 

“Of course we are!” They said in unison. Shouyou scrunched his face when his hair was suddenly being ruffled by the two of them.

 

“We would never hate our little Hinata.” Tanaka laughed.

 

“We’ll fight!” Noya sounded as he stepped on a folded out chair, with his fist in the air. He gave a nervous laugh. He didn’t know how to deal with this. It was so awkward. Maybe it wasn’t quite to say it felt wrong, but he felt so exposed now. Not the light feeling he thought he would. Still, this felt better. Shouyou looked around the room. He locked eyes with Tsukishima, who quickly looked away and shrugged. 

 

Yamaguchi shook on his coat. “Yeah! We don’t mind at all.” He said with that genuine smile he always had.

 

Asahi piped in, “Let us know if you have any problems, yeah?” Shouyou nodded. He would have expected that more out of Suga then Asahi. Even still Shouyou couldn’t help the smile growing.

 

“I will. Thank you. I wasn’t expecting-”

 

“Weren’t expecting us to be okay with it? Of course we are! We aren’t assholes.” Tanaka said as he grabbed his back, throwing it over his shoulder. The team nodded. He bit his lip, ground down hard on the skin. He didn’t know what to say. Just stood in the doorway, with Suga’s hand still on his shoulder.

 

“I- I don’t know what to say.” He whispered. Rubbing the back of his neck, he tried to find a way to get away from the conversation. He felt way to exposed, he needed to lay down for a good while.

 

“You don’t have to say anything. We got your back it’s all you need to know.” Noya piped in as he too grabbed his stuff. Before he knew it, Shouyou was the only one who still had to get ready. He got several hugs on his way out and then that was it. He went home dragging his bike along with Kageyama and remained strangely silent. He didn’t know how to feel about this.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


“My heats starting,” Keishin had been blissfully asleep before he had said that. Immediately able to smell the faint sweet scent that was radiating off of his husband. Not many could tell unless they lived with him these little changes but he could. It was a week early. He bolted upright from his laying position and stared at the door.

 

“You think he’ll smell it?” He asked. Ittetsu turned over and curled in on himself. He pulled a pillow into his arms and hugged it. His husbands face was sullen and droopy.

 

“Can you?” He asked. Keishin nodded, he too probably sported te same worried frown. Ittetsu shoved his face into his pillow and sighed. “It feels like a buzz.” Keishin drew in closer, replacing himself with the pillow. He heard the small sob. Rubbed his back. “I don’t want to do this. Not now.” Keishin hushed him, running his hands through his lovers hair.

 

“It’ll be alright. I’ll get our things packed okay? We can leave tomorrow morning. We can drop Kou off at Ai’s for today. I know she’s leaving tonight but i bet she’ll be okay for a couple hours. Till i can make sure someone else can come.” Ittetsu tugged at his husbands shirt with cold fingers and let out a shaky breath. “It’ll be fine, love. Okay? You take it easy. Nest, eat, take off work, whatever you need to do to make yourself comfortable.” He kissed the top of Ittetsu’s head and got out of bed. “I’m going to go check on him. Make some calls. You, stay in bed.” Ittetsu nodded and curled around the pillow again, shoving it between his legs this time.

 

Keishin walked down the hall catching the muffled mewls of sleep from his pup. He opened the door and softly padded up to Kou’s bed. “Hey, Kou. It’s time to wake up.” The pup stirred and fluttered his sleepy eyes open, focusing in on Keishin. He furrowed his eyebrows. “Ready to wake up?” Koutarou moved his eyes around the room and frowned.

 

“Where small papa?” His voice crackled. Keishin smiled.

 

“He’s not feeling to good today, so I was wondering if you wanted to go to Kuroo’s today.” The pup sat up and stared straight forward.

 

“But i wanted to go to gym.” HE whined, his lips going into a pout.

 

“I know honey, but we aren’t going to the gym today. Remember when i said me and papa are going on a trip and we can’t take you? We have to pack today. And get ready to leave tomorrow morning.” At this point Koutarou started to full on cry.

 

“I don’t want you to go!” He shouted. Snot dripped from his nose and Keishin pulled himself so he too could sit on the bed.

 

“Kou, can you come here?” Koutarou slammed himself into Keishin’s arms and wailed. “I know this is really hard, since it will be a week without us. But we will call you every night. And we can video you so you can see us. And we have toys and things you can smell from us. And Suga is coming to take care of you, and others. You’re going to have a lot of fun even if you miss us.” Koutarou slammed his fists on the bed and screamed. KEishin wished he could have covered his hears in time.

 

“Why do you have to go!?” He wailed. Keishin continued to rub circles into his back.

 

“Because papa is going into heat. And we know that it scares you. And it also scares papa. So we are going to go to a special hotel and try to make him less scared, and you less scared.” The pup rubbed his wet face all over Keshins night shirt and let out pathetic cries. Keishin pet his head. “Aw honey, it’ll be okay. You like Suga right?” Koutarou nodded. “He’ll play with for four whole days.” Koutarou looked up at him. The pup counted on his hand and held it up. He frowned and whined again, falling into Keishin’s arms. Koutarou sobbed so hard at the prospect of them leaving that he began to hyperventilate. Fearing that the pup would make himself pass out, he laid him on his back and took both of his arms. “Sweetie, take deep, slow breaths.” He said. He did this when Ittetsu would panic, run his fingers up and down the pups skin lightly, tickling the hairs. The pup looked around frantically, but kept his arms still. His chest heaved with the effort to calm down. “That’s it, good job.” The pup was starting to look sleepy again, though soft sobs still made their way through. “It’s alright, you’re doing so good.” Keishin praised. Koutarou stared at the hands running up his skin. He had his mouth hanging open and his eyes dropped. Keishin laughed. “You like that, don’t you?” The pup gave a sleepy smile, he saw that the two top and two bottom teeth were now missing, all adult teeth growing in lopsided and at different times. The pups hand was limp as Keishin held on. “You feeling better?” Koutarou nodded and rolled into his arm giggling softly as he did so. “Do you think we can get you ready for the day? Go hang out with Kuroo for a couple hours?” Koutarou frowned again. “Aww come on you’ll have more fun with him then sitting around the house.”

 

“Okay.”

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Yuu and Asahi had been asked last minute if they could babysit Bokuto while Takeda and Ukai went to their hotel, and Suga wasn’t able to make it that day because they were visiting his mom. Yuu didn’t mind. He was used to babysitting his younger siblings all the time. But they had a classmates birthday party to go to that day so they were okay with it. Asahi had been asked to come along since Bokuto had grown so fond of him, and Takeda didn’t want Yuu to have to be alone all day. He could spend more time with Asahi this way as well, which was always welcomed.

 

Bokuto woke up that late morning in tears. He had said goodbye to Takeda and Ukai before they had left, but then went back to sleep only minutes after. But around ten he woke up again in a fit of panic. Asahi stayed outside of the room. If Bokuto had had a dream about his dad, then alpha scent wouldn’t be what he needed then. Yuu sent off waves to calm him down. Rocking him back and forth in his arms as he sobbed. “There there, you’re okay. It was just a silly dream. No harm done. It’s Noya and Asahi, we just want to take care of you.” Bokuto scented him, trying to find a bit of comfort after his nightmare. His sobbing calmed but his scenting didn’t, unwilling to leave Yuu’s neck. “Do you want to talk about it?” Yuu asked. “Sometimes it help to let it all out.”

 

“I was hiding. And then i wasn’t hiding. And Alpha dad found me and it hurt really bad. And small papa wasn’t there to make him stop. I’m really scared.” Yuu rubbed circles into his back.

 

“Oh, that does sound really scary. But do you know what the good thing is?” Bokuto shook his head. “You don’t? Well i’ll tell you then. The good thing is is that it was a dream. Poof. you’re awake now. It’s gone. And you’re safe, and we can do all sorts of fun things today. How bout that?” Bokuto lifted his head from the crook of Yuu’s neck and rubbed his eyes. “Are you okay?”

 

“No.” Bokuto said flatly.

 

“Aww, well. Let’s make it okay. How about..hmm… I know, we can get you dressed. Then we can eat breakfast. How does that sound?”

 

“I don’t know.” Bokuto said again.

 

“That’s okay to not know. We can figure it out as we get ready for the day.” Yuu got up and held Bokuto’s hand as they went through his tiny dresser of clothes. He held up one with an owl on it. “This one? You like owls, would you like to wear this one?” Bokuto shrugged and hugged his little stuffed owl in his arms. It looked like he had gotten it from the zoo. “Well, i think it just makes sense. Okay. Now to put it on. Can you do that?” BOkuto nodded. Yuu turned around to give him some privacy. When Bokuto said he could turn around, Yuu stifled a laugh. He had put the shirt on backwards. “Here, let me fix this.”

 

“NO!” Yuu stepped back. “I-I don’t want you to.”

 

“Okay… Would you like to fix it yourself?” Bokuto looked stricken. His breaths got very fast very quickly. “Woa, woa, woa. Calm down. It’s okay. I’m not mad at you, no one is mad. You’re safe.”

 

“You’re going to be mad.” Bokuto muttered. Pulling down on his shirt.

 

“I promise i won’t get mad.” Bokuto shuffled from side to side, before taking the shirt off. Yuu tried to hold in a gasp when he saw his stomach. There was a large patch of raw skin under his navel where it looked like he had scratched. Bokuto looked like he was about to cry. You put his hand out to stop him from turning away but didn’t touch him. “I’m not mad, i’m not mad. It’s okay. I promise. Can i ask you a question though, Bokuto?” he shrugged with the shirt balled up in his hand. “Why did you scratch yourself?”

 

“I’m bad.” He said, pouting his lip and looking at the floor. Yuu felt his chest ache. He would have to tell Takeda about this, if he didn’t already know.

 

“You are not bad. Not in the slightest. You are really sweet. And really nice. And you are a good person.” Bokuto shook his head.

 

“No, i’m bad. I do bad things. Alpha said i do bad things.” He scooted closer to Bokuto.

 

“Why would he say that?” Yuu asked.

 

“I’m stupid. I can’t read. And i don’t do what Alpha tells me to do. He had to use his scary voice.” Yuu cursed. Of course his dad would do that.

 

“You are not stupid, Bokuto. And you don’t have to do what Alpha says. You are your own person. You are allowed to protect yourself.” Bokuto bit his thumb. “It’s okay if you can’t read, you’re still learning.”

 

“Am i in trouble?”

 

“No, you are okay. Does Takeda know you scratched your tummy?” Bokuto didn’t answer. “I’m going to tell him, okay? He won’t get mad, nor will Ukai. They just want to help you. Because it looks like it hurts.” Bokuto nodded. And continued to bite his thumb. “I’m going to wash it if that’s okay. I don’t want it to hurt worse later.” He nodded and walked towards Yuu. “You are not a bad person. You are a really lovely, good, person, and everyone loves being around you.” Bokuto started to cry again. “It’s okay. I’m going to help you put your shirt back on okay?” Bokuto nodded.

 

After they had gotten him dressed, Asahi worried outside of the door. “Just a little accident, it’s okay. You think Bokuto is a good person right?” Asahi looked a bit startled.

 

“Of course, why?”

 

“Someone told him he was bad. But that person is wrong. Right, Bokuto?” Bokuto shrugged and held his shirt. “Can you help me look for anti septic? Maybe some big bandaids?”

  
“Is he going to be okay?” Asahi asked, wringing his hands together and biting his lip. Yuu nodded and ushered Bokuto towards the bathroom.


	12. Picture books

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asahi and Noya take care of Bokuto for the day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i royally fucked up my update schedule this week. so this is my only fic that updated. what can i say? i had a birthday??? Okay hope you enjoy.

Yuu found it extremely adorable that Bokuto had been hugging Asahi throughout an entire movie. Popcorn and hot chocolate had been distributed. Yuu had brought his little sisters three favorite movies and let Bokuto decide. He wanted to watch Kiki’s delivery service, because of course he did. Yuu had been able to scoot so close to Asahi without him noticing that he felt his breaths against his cheek. It was a great two hours. Yuu couldn’t keep himself from reaching his pinky out to rub against Asahi’s. He always forgot how involved he got into movies. Bokuto was just as intrigued. He almost started to cry when Kiki lost her powers. “Hey Bokuto?” The pup looked up at the alpha and smiled. “Do you think you could get off for a little bit? My legs are asleep.” Bokuto tilted his head to the side but slid off. He watched Asahi get up and stretch, shaking out his legs. The pup leaned in close to Yuu.

 

“Leg’s can fall asleep?” He whispered. Yuu snorted and nodded.

 

“Like when you get little stingy tingles in your legs.” Bokuto made an ‘o’ sound and nodded poking at his legs as the credits rolled by. It was only 2 pm. And Yuu could sense the pup was getting restless. Bokuto hummed, Yuu thought. It was cold, not snowing yet, but cold. They could go into town, but there were a lot of people and he wasn’t sure Bokuto would handle that well. “Bokuto? Is there any place you would like to go today?” The humming stopped and so did the poking of his legs. Bokuto sat still and blinked.

 

“Books.” He said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He ‘ummed’ and looked back up at him, putting a finger against his lip. “Lib-er-ary” He said. And then smiled sweetly. 

 

“You want to go to the library?” Yuu asked. Bokuto nodded and bounced off of the couch jumping over to where Asahi was standing and tugging on his shirt. The pup bit his knuckle and giggled. “Asahi, sound good?”

 

“What? Oh, sure.” He said. Bokuto flapped his hands and hummed happily.

 

“Okay then. Library it is! Let’s get you bundled up!”

 

-oOo-

 

Keiji didn’t know why he was here. It was a saturday, his mom was supposed to be with him today. Instead he stayed in the library for hours, hiding under desks and flipping through picture books. It was cold outside so he couldn’t walk home. And people were giving him strange looks. He just wanted to go home. He missed his mom and dad. He pouted when he noticed he had finished the picture book. He crawled out from under the table, dragging the books into his arms. “Hi.” Keiji jumped. The books tumbling from his grasp. He yelped. Now he’d have to pick them all up again. He wanted to cry. But instead he turned around with an angry expression. It was the boy from the other day. The boy noticed his frown and backed away, lowering his hand a little. “Hi.” He said quieter. Keiji picked up his books and set them on the table. The ends of his sleeves were wet from him sucking on them. And his shoes were velcro. There were random things falling out of his pockets and he had dirt on his cheek. Keiji couldn’t help but be happy about it. He wished he could look like such a mess.

 

“Hi.” He found himself having more confidence when he noticed just how frazzled the boy looked. Keiji thought for a moment. “Do you want to read with me?” The boy turned bashful and blushed, wiggling from side to side. Keiji held up the books. The boy’s nervous figure relaxed slightly. He looked Keiji up and down and then announced loudly.

 

“You’re pretty.” Keiji felt himself blush again. What was with this kid? He furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“Stop saying that.” He pouted. The boy.. Bokuto, stepped back. His face growing all red and teary. “You’re pretty too.” He said with a little bit of anger. Bokuto blushed and giggled. Two boys came up behind him and waved. Keiji ignored them and walked over to the section he wanted. Bokuto followed behind him. The two boys, unlike the man, didn’t follow and instead watched from the table. Keiji sat down on the carpet and skimmed. The boy was way too close for comfort.

 

“Can I be your friend?” Bokuto asked. Keiji spluttered and backed away. No one was his friend. He didn’t have friends. At least he didn’t think so.

 

“Why?” Bokuto furrowed his brow and leaned in closer.

 

“Because I want to give you hugs and kisses.” Keiji backed all the way into the wall. Bokuto looked confused and crawled closer. He sat with his hands flapping. Keiji couldn’t help but stare. The boy tilted his head. “Can i give you hugs and kisses?” He asked, almost guiltily.

 

Keiji shook his head. “No.” Bokuto pouted.

 

“Can i be your friend?” He asked again, looking worried.

 

“Okay.” Bokuto beamed at him.

 

An hour or two later they had finished three other books. Bokuto was sounding out each word as they went. The two boys were sitting at the same table they were hiding under. Keiji found that he didn’t really mind. But he was getting a little exhausted being around the boy. He wanted to take a nap. His eyes started drooping.

 

“Hey!” The smaller of the two boys ducked underneath the table with them. KEiji jumped away, accidentally bumping into Bokuto who squealed in surprise. “Bokuto, we are gonna head back soon. You alright with that?” keiji found himself a little sad at the mention of the boy leaving. Keiji yawned and stretched accidentally bumping Bokuto with his elbow. He squeaked and scooted away, Keiji was a bit surprised but scooped his book up. Maybe he could get mom to read it. The other boy pouted but crawled out from under the table lightly tapping Keiji, he followed. The bigger kid was smiling down at the three of them, pulling the small one from under the table, they both laughed when the small one ended up on the big ones lap. Keiji laughed too. “ready to go?” Bokuto clasped onto Keijis hand and pouted. Keiji squirmed away quickly. He wasn’t expecting that.

 

Bokuto didn’t seem to notice the rejection though and walked a little bit forward to meet the two boys. HE turned around and waved. “Bye pretty Akaashi!” Keiji blushed deep red and before he could stop himself he was running away from the group.

 

-oOo-

 

“The rain that came down in little drops derails my wings. In my way is a black cloud; a long stormy night is coming. With the roaring thunder and the sound of breaking, surging sea as applause .At gears one, two and three!!” Noya was singing loudly and very off key. Asahi chuckled under his breath. He was drawing with Bokuto, who was still gripping his pencil with his whole fist. He drew on every inch of the paper in pinks and blues. He hummed quietly as he did so, every now and then looking up at Asahi and smiling.

 

“What are you drawing.” He found himself asking. Bokuto sucked in his cheeks to mimic a fish. He hadn’t talked since they got home. But he didn’t seem stressed. Just not talking. That was okay. “A fish?” He asked. Bokuto nodded and pushed the drawing towards him. It was a typical drawing from a kid, scribbly and messy and somewhat adorable. 

 

“Fly, fly high!! The flame that always burns the inside of my heart, becomes the lighthouse to illuminate my way. The beam of light at dawn would make the flower of talent bloom, so. Until your life comes to an end, exceed your limits and at the highest speed, Fly, fly; fly high!” Noya burst from the kitchen with some heated up meal he had attempted to make more fancy. He placed the bowls down onto the coffee table and did a little pose and said, “Tada!! Look good?” Bokuto giggled and scrambled up from his pile of crayons to jump into Noya’s arms. Asahi always had a tingly feeling in his stomach when he saw the beta laugh like that. Something about the way his eyes crinkled around the edges, and his teeth always showed up to his gums. He looked sparkly. Asahi scooted over to the coffee table and tasted the food. It was fine. Just a little weird. He would have preferred the food to just stay like the directions on the packet had said. He heard a slight squeal that came from the beta. Asahi turned around. Bokuto was scenting very obviously at Noya’s neck. “You’re so clingy.” Noya laughed. Trying to sit himself down while the pup fawned all over him. He stumbled slightly which sent Bokuto rolling off of his lap. The pup looked up at the teen with awe. “You ready to eat?” Bokuto sat up and grabbed his bowl placing a piece into his mouth. He wrinkled his nose and set the plate back down. “Don’t like it?” Asahi noticed how the pup seemed to look worried at this question. Bokuto fumbled with his hands and furrowed his brow.

 

“It’s okay if you don’t.” Asahi piped in. “We can make you something else.” Bokuto shook his head and forced another piece into his mouth. Noya and Asahi tried to tell him through dinner that it really was okay if he didn’t want to eat it. But instead they had to sit and watch Bokuto get more and more anxious and sickly as he ate. The pup looked hazy as he chewed the last bite. It was slow enough for Noya to rush to the kitchen and grab a bowl. Bokuto started heaving heavy, his eyes tearing up and his cheeks puffing out, before Noya slid the bowl fast in front of him and his entire dinner came exploding out of his little body. Vomit dribbled down his chin as his eye got puffy and started pouring out tears. His shoulders shook and he began to wail. Asahi moved in quickly and before he could think was putting a hand on the pups back. Bokuto screamed, but gagged as he threw up again. Asahi immediately retracted his hand.

 

“Bokuto, it’s okay, it’s okay. You’re safe.” The pup wouldn’t stop screaming. Ear piercing screams that made them both want to just shut him up feelings be damned. But they couldn’t. So Asahi left. Because Bokuto wouldn’t stop screaming and he didn’t know what else to do.

 

-oOo-

 

Yuu wasn’t able to do anything the entire time Bokuto had been screaming. It wasn’t until the pup had calmed down due to sheer exhaustion an hour later was he able to clean up. He threw a blanket over the pup, making sure it covered his head and began cleaning up the living room and kitchen. He was exhausted. And he felt like shit. Because Bokuto felt terrified, and Asahi felt guilty. And it was like he was being suffocated by depressing scents he didn’t even notice the tears streaming down his cheeks until he heard Asahi enter and he quickly wiped them away. “Are you okay?” Noya sniffled and tried to make himself presentable.

 

“Yeah,” He said, trying to come up with an excuse for his radiating scent, but all he could say next was “Yeah…” Asahi came up behind him and tugged on his shoulder.

 

“Noya…Look, I’m sorry I left. I just thought that he’d feel safer with-” a tiny sob escaped him.

 

“It’s not you dumbass. It’s not him either. So just - Just help me clean up down here okay? Just help me clean up so we can go to sleep.” He couldn’t stop himself this time, everything poured out. He shouldn’t be this frustrated. He cursed himself.

 

“Yuu,” He turned around faster then he could even tell that he was the one that made the decision to do so. Asahi, as big as he was, almost fell over with the weight of his hug. He heard Asahi make a gasp and a tsk. And then they were both sitting on the carpet, Yuu silently crying into Asahi’s chest as he was comforted. Before long he had drifted asleep in those arms.

 

-oOo-

 

Asahi had somehow gotten Bokuto cleaned up and ready for bed with minimal fight. Maybe it was just because he was to exhausted for his mind and body to react to the stress. Noya was asleep on the couch. Asahi didn’t have the heart to make him sleep there so he picked the beta up into his arms and carried him to the bedroom. Noya rustled in the fresh blankets and grabbed Asahi’s arm before he could leave to set himself up on the couch. “Stay.” Was all he said. That was all he needed to say.


	13. Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga finds a pup in a blanket  
> Asahi and Noya hold hands  
> Ittetsu and Keishin love eachother with all their might.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is MUCH MUCH later then i wanted it to be. I thought December would be an easier time for me to get things done but NOOOO.   
> Also i got into my school play so there is no hope for usual updates :/  
> I'm just ensemble (Curse you glinda girl who can't hit a high C!!! i'm so bitter!!!!) but i also have a free period which i can devote to this. Also almsot caught up with classes yay!  
> Okay I hope you enjoy this chapter!! :)

Koushi had to call Asahi to be able to get inside. He knew immediately why when he heard the tired squeal from Noya on the other end of the phone. He laughed. Practically shoving the two out of the house when he went inside. He skipped his way up to the top of the stairs and into Bokuto’s room. He was sitting up. Koushi almost jumped when he saw the pup. Sitting stock still under his blankets. “Hey, Bokuto.” Koushi said as he closed the door behind him, sitting down on a small childs chair in the corner he set his bags down. “How is your morning?” There wasn’t an answer. “Don’t feel like talking?” No response. “That’s okay. Have you eaten?”

 

“No.” Came a hoarse voice. Koushi hummed and fiddled with his phone in his hands. He might have been expecting a little too much today. Before Noya and Asahi had left they had told him that he might not be feeling to great because of last night. Koushi rested his chin on his fist and stared kindly at the pup hidden under the green comforter.

 

“Well, I know you have oatmeal, and some cereal. But if you’d like I can make pancakes. I’m sure you have the ingredients for it.” Koushi could just barely see the shake of the pups head. “You don’t want to eat?” another shake of his head. “Would you tell me why?” There was a long moment of silence. He heard the smack of skin and was going to rush forward before the pup spoke.

 

“I don’t things in my mouth.” Bokuto whispered. Koushi furrowed his brow.

 

“Why not?” Koushi could hear a faint sniffle.

 

“I’m scared.” He understood in that second just what it was that Bokuto didn’t want in his mouth and it almost made him throw up. He gulped harshly and sat up straight. He didn’t know why he needed to feel like he was bigger in that moment. As an omega he had experienced things that were considered typical for his kind. His ass being grabbed on a train. Cat calls when he would walk down the street, being talked over constantly. ‘Sweetheart, babey, lady,’ all came to his mind when he was describing an older alpha talking to him. He had felt the embarrassment and the shame that came with being an omega in today’s world. One guy even had the guts to full on grab his crotch on the train, unfortunately for the man, Daichi was there and had given him a black eye. It’s hard to keep yourself from crying when people feel entitled to your body. Maybe that’s why he could sympathize, even if he never experienced that kind of torment.

 

“Did your dad used to make you put things in your mouth?” A sob escaped the small pup under the blankets and Koushi had the urge to crawl under them as well. But he knew that was Bokuto’s safe space right now.

 

“It hurts.” Bokuto said suddenly. “It hurts, I don’t want to, it hurts. It tastes bad. Mommy said that I had to be good. I don’t want to be good. I’m scared and I want daddy to go away forever. I want it to stop. I don’t know, I don’t I don’t know why. SMall papa says he isn’t here anymore but he is! He’s scary! I want him to leave me alone. He always comes back! And it keeps doing it again, I don’t understand.” Pathetic whimpers and cries escaped the fabric the pup was hiding under. Koushi crawled to the edge of the bed.

 

“It’s okay to not understand. Bokuto, it really is. It’s okay to be afraid. Sometimes when we go through something like you have our mind and body forget that we are okay now, and it makes us really anxious and upset and scared. And that’s okay. It’s a normal reaction. You’re dad can’t hurt you anymore, he really can’t. It’s scary when our minds make us relive things we were really scared of but it’s okay, because it’s not really happening. And you are going to be safe. So safe here. Takeda, and Ukai, they will protect you. I’ll protect you, Noya and Asahi, Tanaka, Hinata, Daichi, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and so many other people are going to protect you.” Koushi thought. All those pillows and blankets he kept under his bed for safe keeping. How that silly old bean bag chair had become somewhat of a safe haven for when he was feeling anxious. Or when his dad got home from work, he could just hide. He could decide where a pillow went and how he sat. It was a sense of freedom, of control. Something that he knew omega’s felt they lacked. “Do you feel safer with the blanket over your head?”

 

“Yeah.” The pup said, he was obviously still crying.

 

“Do you know how Takeda will make you little blanket forts and comfy places for you to sit in? Those are nests, and they help omega’s feel a little safer and in control of what is going on around them. Sometimes alpha’s and beta’s do it too. But I was wondering if you would like to try making a nest with me. It can be however you like. And you can decide who and what gets to be in it. Would you like that?” Bokuto didn’t answer. “It’s your space. Nothing can hurt you there. No one can talk to you if you don’t want them too, touch you, you don’t have to touch others and you don’t have to talk. You can eat in it or you don’t have to eat in it. You get to make every single decision when you make a nest.”

 

“And no one will kiss me in bad places.” It wasn’t a question. More of a realization.

 

“That’s right. Do you think you could come out from under the blanket so we can make a perfect nest for you?”

 

“I’m embarrassed.” Koushi tilted his head.

 

“Why are you embarrassed?” He asked. Bokuto whimpered.

 

“I did something bad.” Koushi leaned on the blankets and poked at Bokuto’s leg.

 

“Aw, I doubt that. You don’t have to be embarrassed, honey.” Bokuto slowly lifted the blanket off of his head. His face was all bloody and scratched. His fingernails had blood on them too. “Bokuto, oh no. No wonder you hurt. Let’s go get you cleaned up, buddy.” The pup quivered his lip.

 

“You’re not mad?” He asked, the tears slowly falling from his chin.

 

“I’m not mad at all. You were probably really scared, right?” The pup scratched at his stomach and nodded. “Do you hurt yourself often when you’re scared, Bokuto?” The pup’s eyes trailed to the side and he nodded. “Why do you feel like you have to do that?”

 

“I don’t know why I’m scared. I don’t understand.” Koushi tried to reason why this was but couldn’t. He held out his hands for the pup to hold. Bokuto took them. “Can we make a nest now?” Koushi smirked. He could hand it to him, as sad and scared as this pup was of the world, he was always excited for what would come next.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Bokuto had insisted the nest would be in the closet. He had taken every blanket they could find in the house and put the ones he deemed ‘ugly’ underneath for padding. Greens and blues and fluffy little stuffed animals littered every inch of it. He brought all his fuzzy pajamas and favorite clothes into his nest as well. It was a mess and probably one of the most adorable things he had ever witnessed, when Bokuto crawled inside and promptly started to draw on an eraser board. Koushi sat outside of his nest and watched fondly. He wasn’t allowed to make nests when he was younger. His dad didn’t like it. But when he had his first heat and had to be taken to the hospital his father started allowing him, after doctors orders. Shouyou just said he never had the urge too. And the day Tuskishima would talk about that was the day that Koushi grew wings and flew away. From the looks of it, this was the safest Bokuto had ever been seen. He tucked the blanket around his arms and smiled sleepily. He probably didn’t get much sleep last night. “You like it?” Bokuto nodded and threw his arms around a polka dotted shark stuffie. “You don’t want to talk in there?” Bokuto shook his head and giggled. This pup was riddled with power. Koushi chuckled. His phone vibrated.

 

Daichi <3) Are you free today?

 

Koushi) No, I’m babysitting Bokuto for a couple days. Remember?

 

Daichi <3) What about school?

 

Koushi) He goes to intensive therapy for a couple hours and Doctor’s appointments.

 

Daichi <3) oh

 

Daichi <3) I was going to ask you on a date

 

Koushi) So formal

 

Daichi <3) And I could watch you put on that dress for me. Even better if you let me take it off of you.

 

Koushi blushed bright red in front of the pup who was, luckily, ignoring him in favor of humming a lullaby to his stuffed shark. The selfish part of Koushi wanted to invite Daichi over for dinner with the two of them. But the responsible side knew that would be a shitty thing to do.

 

Koushi) I’M IN FRONT OF A PUP YOU PERV.

 

Daichi <3) So maternal

 

Koushi) Dadchi, i swear to god.

 

Daichi >:() oh kinky

 

Koushi) I’m telling your mom

 

Daichi >:() Jesus Suga!

 

Koushi turned off his phone and shoved it into his jacket pocket. He went over a mental list in his head of what he needed to do today. Bokuto needs to eat, that was one, And it was already nearing noon as well. He needed to get Bokuto to take a bath, which he wasn’t expecting to be easy. “Hey Bokuto, would you be okay with eating something now?” The pup looked at him through sleepy eyes and hugged his owl closer. Koushi thought. “What if we both go downstairs and i’ll make something, but you don’t have to eat it.” Bokuto carefully crawled out of his nest and into Koushi’s arms.

 

“Okay.”

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


They both woke up tired, well, exhausted, really. Yuu had to be pulled from the bed to get up. Now they both were walking back to their houses, bundled up, with the cold, piercing December wind brushing at their cheeks, and nipping at their fingers and toes. Yuu shivered and blew on his hands. He had woken up with Asahi’s arms around him. He almost imploded. The silence was strong and deep. Yuu tried desperatly to fish in his mind for something to say. He felt the butterflies.

 

“Ehm.” Came the cough. Yuu looked up, Asahi’s cheeks were red, and more red from other things then the cold. His nose and ears were pink where the winter wind nipped. “Are- are you cold?” Yuu’s shoulders drooped. He shrugged.

 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s pretty . . . cold.” He wanted to say something. There were chains around this conversion like a locked box. They wouldn’t ever get out of this fog if he expected Asahi to do everything to get it started. He stopped in his tracks. Gripping the scarf around his neck like a rope that prevented him from falling. He didn’t really feel like it was him.

 

“Asahi.” The boy turned. Tilting his head to the side. “Would you like to go out with me sometime?” Okay, maybe he was being dramatic but . . . the look on Asahi’s face was worth it. HE shouldn’t be so shocked. He had been lusting after his senior since he saw him in a match in middle school. The ace spluttered and flushed even harder. A giggle escaped Yuu’s lips. Asahi looked away and fumbled over his words.

 

“You . . . you want that?” Yuu nodded and stepped forward, sneaking his hand into the alpha’s.

 

“Yes.” Asahi scratched at his neck trying to contain a smile.

 

“Then, yes. Yes, i’d like if we could do that.” That was, less stressful then he thought it would be. Asahi squeezed his hand and they kept on their walk. Tanaka would tease them at morning practice, and that was for sure. Even if Yuu didn’t tell him, which he wouldn’t, he’d find out somehow. Magic fucking gossiper with a golden heart.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Bokuto had one of the left behind jackets Takeda had, He really did have a lot of jackets, wrapped around his tiny shoulders. His tongue stuck out in a concentrated and content fashion. The coloring of the book he had done was very much  _ brown _ . Koushi didn’t think he was setting a very good example at eating. He was just picking at the pancakes he had made. Why did he make pancakes? Pancakes were awesome, simple answer. Bokuto kept looking at them longingly but ultimately not even touching them. Koushi rested his head in his hands and pouted his lip. “Still don’t want to eat?” Bokuto looked up from his drawing, and gave a sad look toward the pancakes. He shook his head, pulling the front of his shirt up into his mouth and sucked on it. “Does it make you feel scared?” Bokuto tapped the table with his nails and nodded. “Does it make you feel other things?” Again, the pup nodded. “Icky inside?” the pup’s face grew a little red, and his eyes a bit watery. He shouldn’t be asking these questions, he wasn’t the kids therapist. “You know other people don’t think you’re icky if you eat. Maybe eating the pancakes will be scary at first but then later you won’t feel scared, because the food gave you some energy.” Koushi hummed and thought. “Do you think you can try taking one big bite for me? Just for me, Bokuto?” The pup looked at the pancake on his plate. Koushi had put anything on it. It might be too sugary, or the texture would freak him out. Maybe. There was butter on it though. Bokuto pulled the plate towards him and pulled a piece off with his fingers. He inspected it like some sort of treasure. He put it in his mouth.

 

The gagging came immediately after he swallowed the pancake piece. Koushi jumped from his chair and kneeled next to the heaving boy. “Bokuto, Bokuto, look at me. It was a pancake. It was food. You are okay.” The pup fell off of his chair and stumbled into Koushi’s lap. Bokuto panicked and started actually choking. “Bokuto, you need to breath. It will stop if you can just breath.” The pup clawed at his back. Trying to find something to hold on to. Koushi rocked back and forth with the pup in his lap. “In comes the happy thoughts, out go the bad ones.” He breathed, trying to get Bokuto to mimic him. The gagging stopped at least, but was replaced with heavy, panicky breathing. “Sh, sh, shhh. That’s it. Just, in . . . and out. Everything is okay here.” The pup cried and Koushi could feel the tears soaking into his shirt.

 

“I want small papa.” Bokuto whimpered. “I want small papa and big papa, and,” The pup sniffled, “I want my nest.” Koushi rocked and patted his back. He was so small. So so small, and afraid. Koushi just wanted him to feel big. Be big.

 

“I’ll take you, don’t worry.”

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


“Sugawara is on the phone.” Keishin handed him his cellphone. He was still in the heavy part of his heat so he didn’t feel comfortable talking on the phone. He took it anyways. Putting it on speaker.

 

“Is everything alright?” Ittetsu asked, he was practically panting.

 

“Erm. Bokuto wants to talk to you. He’s had a bad night? Sorry, he ate some food Nishinoya and Asahi made him last night, but it didn’t settle right, and now he won’t eat anything. I tried to get him to take a bite of a pancake but it made everything worse -” Sugawara suddenly stopped. “Sorry.” He added after a stumble.

 

Keishin looked at his husband concerned. Koutarou had a couple mishaps while eating in the short time there. But he hadn’t ever flat out refused to eat. He rolled over and grabbed a little book full of numbers and Koutarou’s needed information. He flipped through it. “It’s okay Sugawara, I know you are doing your best. Where is he right now?”

 

“Well, we made a nest this morning, so he’s, he’s in his closet.” It sounded like a smile played at his words. Ittetsu surly grinned. His pup had a safe space, that was good. He found the number of Koutarou’s Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Neurologist, and MD.

 

“I’ll talk to him. But, Sugawara, do you have a pen and paper near you?” The boy hummed for a second and then let out a loud affirming mumble. “Okay Umm just call his Psychologist if you need to. She should be able to help you if things get really bad.” Sugawara hummed and wrote down the numbers Keishin was reading off of.

 

“Thank you.” Sugawara said. “He’s looking at me like I’m a troll bridge, can he talk to you now?” Ittetsu hummed and rolled into his husband. His whole body ached. His heats never made him ache this bad before. Everything was throbbing.

 

“Small papa?”

 

“Hi, Kou.” Koutarou voice was scratchy and small. “How are you hun?”

 

“When are you coming back?” Ittetsu sighed.

 

“This weekend, love. But I can call you twice a day if you need me to. I know you are probably very scared.” He heard a loud sniffle and felt his heart break.

 

“You’re not around so Big can come back.” Keishin rubbed a hand over his face.

 

“Oh no, baby, no he can’t. I’m still here, okay? I’m always with you. Always. And no one can ever hurt you again. You have people who will protect you. I promise, baby, you are safe. No one can hurt you, even if I’m a little bit farther away from you.” Koutarou sobbed a little.

 

“When you come back can I have hugs and kisses?” Ittetsu chuckled under his breath.

 

“Of course you can hugs and kisses.” Koutarou made a happy sound from the other end, and, in the distance he could hear Sugawara laugh. A wave of heat his him in his abdomen and he did his best not to let out his wine. “Honey, papa’s got to go. But i’ll call you tonight, okay? Is that okay?” The pup whimpered. Keishin was looking between the phone on the bed and his husband, concerned alpha mode at a 100% increase during Ittetsu’s heat.

 

“Mmmhmm. Can big papa say goodbye to?” Keishin laughed and leaned down on the bed to get closer to the phone.

 

“Goodbye, sweetheart. We’ll see you very soon.” Ittetsu grabbed his hand to try and quell the pain coursing through his abdomen.

 

“Bye bye!” The pup said back.

 

“Bye, baby. We love you.” Ittetsu added.

 

“Okay, bye!” The phone hung up. Ittetsu was left alone for a couple of seconds before Keishin squirmed over the mess of blankets, and pillows, to press his body against Ittetsu’s. Something about being bonded to an alpha seemed to make not having sex while on your heat easier. If they were close, it just felt heavy enough for his body to calm down. Ittetsu sighed and kissed his lovers cheek.

 

“This sucks.” He whined and rolled on top of his husband. Keishin laughed and ran his hands up Ittetsu’s sides.

 

“I can’t be that bad.” Ittetsu rolled his eyes.

 

“Maybe the toys would have been a better option.” He teased and smirked. Keishin lept up and kissed his lips with vigor. “Okay, Okay. I get it. Just slow down. I’m just as tired as I am horny.” Ittetsu laughed, laying himself completely on top of Keishin. “I love you lots.”

  
“I love you lots and lots and lots and lots.” Each ‘lot’ brought a new kiss too a new place. Ittetsu found himself melting beneath his lovers touch only moments later. Maybe this heat wouldn’t be as bad he thought. Maybe he could get through this. Maybe his body wouldn’t mimic pregnancy afterwards and make him cry. Maybe he would go home to his pup and he could make a nest for the two of them and they could all watch movies as a family. And he could every single god damn thing in the house until he wanted to puke. Maybe he won’t think about everything he lost after he lost her.


	14. Author's note

I KEPT HAVING DREAMS THAT I HAD UPDATED THIS FUCKING FIC.  
It's not dead I have stuff i can probably update but infrequent updates are happening with all of my fics right now -PTSD things doing PTSD thigns-   
I am not dead either! okay so just to clear that up i can probably update this week??? i forgot what i had down????? but it'll be pretty infrequent since I am also working on so many other things (cough cough school)


	15. Dads

 

There were a lot of kids at the hospital. The walls were colored with little murals from local artists. There was a big TV in the back of the room that played movies and TV shows. There were small toys in baskets around the room. It smelled like antiseptic and cinnamon, and it made the pups nose twitch. Older omegas circled the room, helping the pups at tables with tasks, talking them through arguments with other pups, or telling a story in the center, on the rug. The omegan therapist assisting Koutarou was having a difficult time keeping him on task. The small boy was dazing in and out of the conversation. His therapist sighed and closed the booklet of letter tracing and placed it neatly to the side. “Koutarou, can you tell me what you’re thinking about right now?” The pup slowly turned to look at her. His face salty and ready to fall into a frown at any wrong step. The pup prodded at the table, but didn’t answer. So he was overwhelmed. “Perhaps you can draw it for me?” The pup shook his head, and started to bite at his thumb. “We can go somewhere where there are less people.” The pup nodded, and gripped tightly to her arm.

 

The room was small and had tons of pillows. Koutarou tucked his head into her hip and whimpered. “Honey. What’s wrong?” The lights were dimmer and it had an overwhelming calming scent. The pup sat down. “Can you tell me how you are feeling? What emotion, remember what we worked on? Three fingers for sad, two for mad, one for scared.” Koutarou held up three fingers as he tucked in body amongst the pillows. She joined him. Reaching out her hand for him to hold. “Can you tell me why?” The pup sniffled. So he was crying. She squeezed lightly. “Koutarou, it’s okay to be sad.” He scooted into her side.

 

“I want big papa and small papa. I’m sad.”

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Koutarou saw the boy, with his bright blonde hair, and his full lashes from across the room and grinned from ear to ear. He was so pretty. And he was an older boy. He wouldn’t stop staring. The boy on the other hand was looking agitated and poking at a pile of little squares while his instructor stared at him, also looking agitated. “Come on, just one more try, if you don’t get it, then we’ll take a break. K?” The boy looked up at his instructor and scowled.

 

“This is dumb.” He said. And his instructor took a heavy sigh, and tapped the paper in front of him.

 

“Just give it one more shot.” The boy rolled his pencil harshly across the table and crossed his arms.

 

“It doesn’t make any sense!” He groaned.

 

There was an afterschool program for boys and girls who attended the psychiatric center in the hospital. Those who could use some help with their school work while doing their therapy. Mostly kids with learning disorders. Of course, it wasn’t very big, so kids with all sorts of backgrounds were clumped together at small, circular tables. Koutarou had been left to play on his own. The instructors were always spread a little thin in the afternoons. So the man was obviously stressed, having to focus all of his attention on one, troublesome pup. “What about it doesn’t make sense?” He yawned as he said it. The pup looked at him with his lips pouted and his eyebrows scrunched.

 

“Because, because . . .” The pup growled, frustrated that he couldn’t explain himself. “Why do we have to use numbers to tell time!?” He finally yelled, throwing his arms up into the air.

 

“Yuuji, I know it’s difficult for you, but there isn’t an explanation behind it that I can explain and that will make sense to you. Can you just accept it for what it is, and use the formula’s we have been working on to fill this one out?” The pup laid his face on the table.

 

“It’s just not fair.” He whined.

 

Koutarou watched on in a dumbstruck way. He had no idea what they were talking about., but something about the boy felt similar. He didn’t know what, so he turned back to his blocks, and continued to try and make an owl. It didn’t work as was planned.   
  
  
-oOo-

  
  


“Hey! Watch where you’re going! You could hurt someone!” The blonde boy shouted. Koutarou instantly blushed. His stomach all fluttery and his throat all tight. He held his stack off drawings and forms tight to his chest. His instructor was walking him to the front to be checked out. Everyone was checking out. Koutarou smiled.

 

“I - I like your hair.” The other boy blushed momentarily and then turned sharp. He clenched his fists and got in his face. Koutarou gulped.

 

“Stop saying that! Omega’s have cooties! Don’t touch me!” A girl came up behind the other boy, her arms crossed. 

 

“But you’re an omega Yuuji.” The boy whipped around and pushed the girl so that she fell over. She immediately started to cry. Koutarou was a little bit taken aback by it all.

 

“No i’m not! I’m not, I’m not I’m not! Shut up!” His instructor pushed Koutarou behind her and knelt down to face the boy who was now beat red and stomping everywhere.

 

“Yuuji, yuuji, calm down, please. You need to apologize.” Koutarou backed away. Suddenly becoming overwhelmed himself. His eyes got puffy, and his nose tingly. He had cooties? He had cooties, and no one would want to touch him, and no would want to love him anymore. Was Suga even there to pick him up. He looked down at his hands and gulped, he was dirty. And he was going to get other people dirty. He didn’t like that boy. He didn’t like him at all.

 

“Hey,” A soft voice. A soft hand. A honey tea like presence. The smell washed over him, his heart stilled. The tears were finally able to get out after the blinding panic. He cried softly into the fluffy coat. “Oh,” The voice hummed, “Koutarou, did you think I forgot about you?” Koutarou nodded and whined into his coat. Suga’s hand rubbed sturdy circles into his back.

 

“Oh! I’m so sorry, have you come to pick him up? Mr. Takeda’s sitter, right? Sorry for the scene,” The instructor gave Yuuji a hard stare. “This pup, needs to apologize to him. Yuuji. . . “ The other pup, who was being held gruffly by the arm stared at him.

 

“I’m sorry I did everything wrong, and that I’m a terrible child. Is that what you want me to say?!” The pup struggled out of the nurs’ grip and ran to the nearest bathroom, and locked the door.

 

“Yuuji!” Suga stood awkwardly behind Koutarou, his hand on his shoulder. The nurse turned to them. “I’m sorry, again.”

“It’s okay.” Suga said a little dazed. They walked to the desk and checked out. He could still hear the nurse talking to the boy as they left.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


“Tanaka I need your help. Bokuto is all alone at the house. And I can’t be there. Please just can you go get him. I’m sorry.” Suga was sobbing over the phone, he could hear yelling in the background. “My dad - um. Just can you go get him? Ukai will be so disappointed in me.” It was 3 in the morning and Ryuu had awoke to his obnoxiously loud recording of the entire team singing christmas songs. He was struggling to comprehend that the world was really the world right now and not just a dream. He rubbed his face.  
  
“Mm, he’s alone?” He groaned and turned on his lamp. He really didn’t want to deal with something this early if he didn’t have to. But he was already getting out of bed. There was a frantic jabber of words flowing through his phone and Ryuu got the idea, because Suga never ever sounded this panicked. “Okay, okay I’ll go. Text me the information that i need.”  
  
“It’s all in a book on the kitchen counter.” Suga whispered. Ryuu snapped out of his daze.

 

“Do you need me to call the cops or something. Do you need help?”

 

“No! No, it’s fine. It will pass i’ll probably get out later today and take over. Just i’m fine.” Ryuu grunted, and nodded to himself.

 

“Okay, keep me posted okay?”

  
“Okay”


	16. Oceans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koushi has had enough, Kotarou has never seen a chameleon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYSS!!!! okay so this sex scene isn't just smut. i'm not good at smut like at all so avoid writng it XD also my ace freind sometimes reads my stuff and i just tend to like to make it comfortable for her. also i haven't ever had the best experience with sexual encounters so i don't know how it's supposed to be?? so if your ever wondering why my works don't feature all that much sex, that's kind of why. also there is a plot point to it which you can probably guess (SPOILERS SPOILER SPOILERS) AHAEM AHEMME HAE /suga gets preggers/ COUGH COUGHC. AHE FJF HOIC. 
> 
> also sorry i've been so distant. i found out my anxiety meds made my brain all numb. I have to find a new way of visualizing the scenes i create. i don't have that movie screen in my head anymore. i'm very much a visual person and that was kind of taken away. so now i have to be more auditory when i write. thanks for waiting everyone. it means so much that you like this work. especially since it's slightly differnt to most of my writings XD.
> 
> enjoy!

Ryuu walked into the spotless house, all of the lights off, and the air smelling like the dimming scent of rage and the brimming one of panic. Ryuu shrugged off his coat and hung it up by the door. Scanning the room while simultaneously feeling the wall for the light switch. “Bokuto?” Ryuu called. There was no answer. There was hardly a sign of the boy, except the crayons strewn on the coffee table. He sighed in relief when he finally turned on the lights. He didn’t know why he was expecting something horrific when the room was finally light up. Maybe it was just the scent messing with his head. He walked in slowly. Looking under furniture in the living room. Nothing, no one. “Bokuto, you can come out, it’s Tanaka.” and still there was nothing. Even after he searched every cabinet and crevice and cranny and nook in the lower level of the house there was nothing. Was Bokuto even here? He had to be, who else would give off that scent.  
  
Ryuu walked upstairs. He could see through the open door the blankets thrown messily off the bed. Suga always made sure things were spotless. He must have been in a hurry. It set him on edge. He checked that room first. Suspecting that the pup could be hiding under the blankets or under the bed, but still, he was not there. He was about to give up and call the police, when he heard a small whimper coming from the room at the end of the hall. “Bokuto, are you in here?” there was a shuffling from the closet. Ryuu clambered over the barrage of children's toys and slowly, so as not to startle or hurt the pup, opened the closet doors. Ryuu took a giant leap back when he heard the scream rip from the pups throat. The scent made Ryuu’s spine shiver. He coughed and dropped down to his knees. “Bokuto. Shh shh, you’re safe.”

 

“No!” The pup yelled, hiding in, what looked to be a nest, of all assortments of things Bokuto liked. Ryuu made the mistake of putting a hand into his nest, and got a harsh slap from the pup. It sent him whirling back.  _ Okay _ he thought,  _ I guess I deserved that. _ Ryuu scooted farther away and made himself as small as he could.

 

“I didn’t mean to go into your space.” He held up his hand in surrender, “Sorry.” The pup shivered, eyes jotting around the room, petrified. The pup hugged his little stuffy closer to him and stiffened every part of his body. He couldn’t just go to sleep with a pup like this. He probably had already eaten. No harm in eating anything again but Ryuu didn’t doubt that at this time of night that Suga took care of all of the pups basic needs. Still no harm in trying to get him some water or … something. “why are you afraid?” he asked. The pup sniffled, pulling a blanket over his head and shaking. “Do you want some water? Some food?”

 

“Is Suga dead?” he whimpered.

 

“No no Suga is just fine.” Bokuto shook his head.

 

“no. No big came in. I smell it. It's so angry.” Ryuu knew Suga’s dad. Old fashioned, short tempered. But he didn't think he was this bad.

 

“It’s okay. Their gone. And Suga is safe. Alive and well.” Bokuto took the blanket off of him and looked up with big, teary, worried eyes.

 

“promise?” Ryuu nodded.

 

“pinky promise.” Bokuto bit his lip and looking crawled out of his nest. He stumbled over the edge and clumsily stood up.

 

“I need a bandaid.” The pup held out his arms and showed the scabby scratches littering them. Ryuu grimaced. Poor little guy. He put on a smile.

 

“Then let’s get you bandaid. oh, wounded warrior.” Bokuto giggled and shoved his thumb and in his mouth and tugged on Ryuu’s shirt. He knew he’d get a kick out of that.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


“Can I eat ice cream?” the pup asked while rocking on a chair do he could reach the counter. His hair was a wild mess, and he had a wild small milk stash that made Ryuu laugh. He wasn't a good cook but he knew how to make an omelet and he was craving one, so why not.

 

“Maybe later today. Sound good?” Bokuto bounced up and down on on the chair.

 

“what's you favorite flavor?” the pup asked. Ryuu put a hand on his chin dramatically. He hummed. To be honest he didn't really like ice cream all that much. It was an overrated desert. He liked pie.

 

“I think I like pie more than i like icecream.”

 

“I’ve never had pie. Can I have pie? What's pie?”

 

“pie can be a lot on of things. The possibilities never end. Sweet, savory, pecan, apple. Shepard, cheesecake is even technically a pie. Pie is the chameleon of foods. Besides potatoes.”

 

“what's a chameleon?”

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


Suga didn't sleep a wink. His dad had found his dress and dragged his ass back home. Sending him to bed with a slap. He waited till he heard the van rumble and vibrate. Till it drove away. Suga snuck downstairs. His mom had had a chest of things. That his dad didn't bother to sell when she died. It was an antique. Made by his great grandpa for his grandma on her 16th birthday. It was filled with photos, mostly. But a wedding dress sat at the bottom of it, and a blue dress she had originally chosen to wear when she died. But his dad liked white on her more. Suga stuffed it in his bag, along with the envelope of pictures. He locked it back and shoved it in the back of his dad's closet. He looked around his house. Nothing was on the walls anymore. No armor for him to wear against his dad. Nothing left of his mom except a dreaded box. A skeleton in the closet.

 

He left a note on the table. If his dad had a problem with him leaving, he could come come and get him, but it would be harder to drag him back to this hell when Suga he had a gun in his bag, and Daichi by his side. He made sure to write that down. He'd call cps next time time a hand was laid on him.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


“fuck me.” Suga stood in front of Daichi’s door. Disheveled,shivering, determined.

 

“um, Koushi?” Daichi asked, looking down at the bottom of hi pants, soaking wet. Koushi pushed passed him into the living room. He threw his bag on the couch. “Koushi what are you doing?” Daichi watched as his boyfriend undressed in front of him.

 

“my clothes are wet. What does it look i’m doing?” Daichi stared. Koushi rushed towards him, lips on his in a second. Lapping at his lips all too fast. Koushi came at him like an ocean. Flooding him with that scent. He was drowned out, his senses bubbling over. He heard the small oceans mewls on him. Teeth scrape, tongue laps. And before a the TV could go back to commercial, the mattress was already yawning underneath his knees, yawning against Suga’s porcelain spine. He swallowed so much ocean. Lips on lips for longer than he could think about. All he could think about was how this wasn't right. This was wrong. What kind of man swallows an ocean when there's barely enough for the fish?

 

“come on, take your clothes off. It's lonely like this.” The ocean laced kisses up this man's stomach. Hardening him like a cliffside. He pressed back as the ocean lapped against him. Something rumbled. And Daichi was brought back into the moment.

 

“are you purring?” he laughed. Suga turned bright red. Flushing down to his toes, which curled with pleasure as Daichi rubbed that sweet spot. “no, no, it's cute. I don't hear you purr ever.” Suga looked like he was about to say something, but before he could a moan ripped through his throat. Claws were on his back. And slick was spilling out. Daichi quickly shed his clothes. Butterfly kisses down his oceans happy trail. He suckled and nipped and the small thing he had. Making Suga arch. He was so noisy, it made Daichi noisy. Was that a turn on?

 

“inside, come on, Dai, please.” The ocean writhed against him. He was barely on the bed now, holding onto Daichi for dear life. He pressed two fingers inside and heard the high pitched squeak, and the purring pick up. Suga tugged in his hair. “dai, dai, m-more.” three fingers scissoring in and out. He finally pressed his own length in, and felt the scrape, harsh, down his shoulders. He was slow at first. Just making sure the other was okay. But it got to be too much. He almost choked while holding back. Whimpers, moans and wails escaped his lovers mouth. He saw Suga leg twitch and contort as he thrust. He put a hand on his thigh and rubbed the knot out. Before he knew it, Suga was spurting and shivering against the thrusts, vibrating, it sent Daichi over the edge. And they both spilled out, falling on top of the other. Suga laughed, after and gain moment to catch their breaths, and plopped plopped a wet kiss to his nose. “why haven't we done that before?” the ocean exclaimed.

 

“I didn't know you wanted to.” Suga purred against his chest.

  
“me neither. I’m so sleepy now.” He yawned. Daichi rolled his eyes and let the ocean sleep. He let himself sleep too.


	17. Goodness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this scene written since the goddamn beggining of the fucking fic. But i feel bad because i squeezed it into a spot i basically was just like . . . "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE" and just added it. so it's abit rushed and out of place but whatever i'll edit this once it's done so you guys can re read it in a new light XD if you want. okay more is coming. (BABIES EVERYWHERE) also there will be a sequel once this is done and this is probably right around the halfway mark.

“I have a really pretty friend.” The pup said as they both sat on the couch. Ryuu endlessly texting Suga to see if he was alright. The pup was covered in blankets and stuffed animals. They were playing a card game. Although it wasn’t really playing since Bokuto couldn’t read. It was more like teaching. Ryuu looked up.

 

“Yeah?” He was tired. They didn’t get much sleep that night. Bokuto had clung to him all night.

 

The pup nodded and smiled, his face all round, and the color of his shirt soaked from him chewing on it. “He’s small and smart. He doesn’t like holding hands, that makes me sad.” Bokuto pouted, and hugged his blanket tighter to himself.

 

“Maybe he doesn’t like being touched, like you don’t sometimes.” Bokuto furrowed his eyebrows and pouted even more.

 

“But he doesn’t deserve that.” Ryuu looked up from his phone, and put it away, he winced.

 

“I didn’t mean it like th - do you think you deserved that?” The pup shrugged. Ryuu grimaced, pointing his finger at the pup. “No one ever deserves that. Not you, not anybody. You did nothing wrong.” Bokuto tilted his head.

 

“Yeah. okay. Can I have ice cream?” Not one to dwell. Ryuu patted the pup on the back, and quickly picked up off the couch, spinning him around. The pup laughed and held on tight. 

 

“What flavor?”

 

 

-oOo-

 

 

Koushi trudged through the rain back towards Ukai’s place. Daichi was walking along side him, helping him with his stuff. Koushi insisted that he didn’t have to, he could carry it on his own. But he was a bit sore. Daichi was a perfect gentleman and held an umbrella over his head as they made their way over. Just a block away. But the hem of his dress had been drenched from the walk. He silently cursed when he plopped into a huge puddle. Daichi laughed. It easily splattered all over the dress, muddy water decorating him. His hair was soaking as well. The shower he had taken felt moot at this point. He turned around when he heard his boyfriends snickers and kicked as much water as he could at him. Daichi held the umbrella in front of him like a shield. “You’re so mean!” Koushi wailed, It wasn’t like he was the only wet, he could hear the squelch of Daichi’s shoes every time he walked. At least they were both miserable. Koushi turned away, but he was quickly grabbed and pulled under the umbrella, Daichi’s arm around him.

 

“I can’t be that mean.” He was pouting, a little bit of stubble, minty breath. Koushi kissed his cheek, it was a sweet gesture, until the kiss turned into him blowing a raspberry on his skin, and Daichi jumping away with the umbrella in hand, leaving him to the winds. “Eww.” the Alpha teased.

Koushi stuck out his tongue, tugged the umbrella back and squeezed shoulder to shoulder with his boyfriend. “We gotta hurry up, Tanaka is probably fed up with me by now”

 

 

-oOo-

 

 

It was a sunny day when Keishin and Ittetsu got back. Koutarou jumped into the omega’s arms right away, and wouldn't let go even to say goodbye to Sugawara. He held on straight through unpacking, and Keshins shower. only letting go when Keishin pried the pup off of him, so he could take his own shower.  
  
The next week was so routinely it made Ittetsu’s teeth grind. Koutarou had nightmares daily, and panic attacks daily. Everything was exactly the same. HE almost missed his heat. And he hated his heat. Keishin seemed to be liking it though. For as messy as the Alpha was he was quite the routinely person. And when something finally did happen it wasn’t good.

 

Ittetsu was worried. He was told it was something in kids that happened sometimes after sexual abuse. He wasn’t looking forward to the talk that was about to happen. He didn’t think Koutarou even knew what he was doing exactly. Keishin had walked in on him with his hand down his pants, he said he had looked spaced out. It was an uncomfortable enough subject for regular kids. But for Koutarou it would probably stir up some memories. As soon as he had brought it up Bokuto began to scratch his arms raw. “You’re not in trouble Koutarou. It’s okay.”

 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He yelled. Curling up in the corner of the couch.

 

“Baby, baby it’s okay. It’s not your fault. We just want to make sure you’re okay.” Ittetsu went to put his hand around Koutarou but the boy flinched and pushed himself back into the couch cushions. He sighed. Keishin rubbed a comforting circle into his back. “Do you know what your dad did to you Koutarou?”

 

“He hurt me?” Koutarou said, his face streaming with tears and snot. Ittetsu nodded.

 

“He hurt with his fists, he hurt with his words, but he also hurt you in other ways.” Koutarou looked at him, confused. “Your dad raped you. When you said that your dad ‘kisses you in bad places’ that’s sexual abuse. Do you know what sex is?” Koutarou shook his head. “Sex is when people get together to touch each other in places that make them feel good. With your private parts right? You know about that. That’s only for adults. Adults do that, not kids. And when an adult does that to a kid it’s really bad. It’s against the law and it really hurt you. Remember when you first came here and you couldn’t walk because your butt hurt?” Another nod. “You didn’t want that and it hurt you. Adults can say yes to each other but they can’t when they are intoxicated, that’s rape. Or when they say no, that’s rape, or if they can’t say yes, that’s rape. And a kid can’t say yes to an adult. Your dad raped you. And that’s very very bad, and it isn’t your fault.” Ittetsu drew in a shaky breath.

 

“Why?” Koutarou asked.

 

“I don’t know honey. Sometimes people do terrible things to others. When your dad did that to you he hurt you in a lot of different ways. And we want to make sure you can be okay, and not feel bad about it. So when you touch yourself we get worried because you’re really young and we don’t know why.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault, honey. It isn’t. We just want to take care of you. We are worried. Can you tell us why you touch yourself?” Koutarou sobbed again, scratching at his arms.

 

“I don’t know! I’m sorry!” Ittetsu went to go sit closer to Koutarou.

 

“It’s okay if you don’t know. It’s okay. We can figure that out. We just want to make sure you aren’t hurting yourself. Honey, are you hurting yourself? Do you get scared when you touch yourself?” Koutarou nodded and wiped his nose with his sleeve. “Okay. Okay. can you try not to do anything that hurts you? Or scares you?” Koutarou’s eyes widened and he looked around, scared. His breathing picked up, and then he hid his face in his knees. “What is it honey?”

 

“You’re gonna get mad at me.”

 

“We promise we won’t. Please tell us what’s wrong.” Koutarou hesitated, then reached down to his shorts, pulling them up to his hips. There were tons and tons of scratch marks and scabs. Ittetsu’s heart stopped. Keishin put his head in his hands. “Oh no. Koutarou. Oh no.”

 

“I’m sorry. Don’t get mad. I’m sorry.” Ittetsu shook his head.

 

“I’m not mad. You are doing just fine, thank you for showing me. Why did you scratch yourself?” Some of them looked infected.

 

“I was scared.” Ittetsu absently brushed his fingers where the scabs were, Koutarou scooted away quickly. He recoiled his hands. He had to remember to ask. Remember that Koutarou had to know that his body was his. And he could do what he got to decide who touched it.

 

“Why were you scared, honey?” Koutarou drew his voice down to a whisper.

 

“It was dark.” Ittetsu held himself against the urge to pick up his pup and squeeze him until he couldn’t feel sad or afraid anymore. He held in his breath. “I was scared Alpha dad was going to come back.” Ittetsu felt the tears begin to fall off of his face. “Small papa, you’re crying. Why are you crying?” Koutarou asked in a panic.

 

“I’m okay. I’m just really worried about you. You know if you're scared you can always come and sleep with us.” Koutarou worriedly bit on his thumbs.

 

“And if you need the lights on when you sleep that’s okay. Or a nightlight. We could put glowy star stickers in your room if you want to.” Keishin said. Koutarou quickly looked over at him.

 

“Stars?” Keishin nodded. “And i can sleep in your bed? And nothing bad will happen?” His voice was raspy from tears.

 

“Of course. Nothing bad can happen when we are here. We will protect you.” Koutarou uncurled a little bit.

 

“I want… I want stars. I can have stars?” They both nodded. “And - and i can sleep with you and i’ll be safe?”

 

“Super safe.” Keishin confirmed.

 

“Can i have hugs and kisses?”

 

“Of course you can have hugs and kisses.” Ittetsu said. Koutarou crawled into Ittetsu’s lap, and then, surprising to both of them, crawled into Keishins. He was surprised as Koutarou scented him. Keishins look of surprise turned into a teary eyed one. Koutarou had refused to make any physical contact with him for the two months he was there. And to scent him … It almost made ittetsu cry.

 

“Can i tell you something Koutarou?” Koutarou hummed a yes as he continued to scent. “I love you, so much.” Koutarou pulled away.

 

“You love me?”

 

“That’s right.” Koutarou pondered for a second. He pointed at Ittetsu.

 

“Does small papa love me?”

 

“Mhmm. I love you a lot.” His mouth was open and his eyes were wide.

 

“Why?”

 

“Uhm. Well because you are nice, and kind, and super smart. And you're part of our family.” Keishin said as he held Koutarou close. The boy looked puzzled and gripped Keishin’s shirt.

 

“And that’s good?”

 

“Yes.” They said in unison.

 

“Okay.” Koutarou laid down on both of their laps, sprawled across them.

 

“Thank you for talking to us Koutarou. It’s really good that you are talking to us.” Ittetsu ran his fingers gently through the small boys hair. His face still sticky with tears. It hurt him to know that someone so young could intentionally hurt themselves. That something had led him to that point. It had only ben two months but from the moment Ittetsu had saw the boy, all beat up, his hair drenched with sweat, and nursing on a water bottle in his doorway, he had thought of him as his pup. Koutarou was his pup. He never had the option of having kids. His heats never being regular enough to constitute as healthy. Riddled with Cysts. The long jagged scar across his abdomen was proof enough of his infertility. But Koutarou was his. IT was meant to be. He was a father, something he had always wanted and now he got to be one. He got to be the parent for the sweetest ad most imaginative kid he had ever met. There was ups and downs, and his journey might be harder than some but it was so worth it. Koutarou was worth all the stars in the sky. Worth all the space in all the universes, and all the time there could ever be. And most importantly he deserved love. A love that was patient and understanding, that asked before it was forced. And he could give that. Because Ittetsu had so much to give. 


	18. Another fucking authors note I guess

Hello everyone.

So I just got done with twelve weeks of intensive out patient program for my clinically severe OCD.  
I wasn't expecting to have my entire outlook on life changed after 11 weeks of what I call mental boot camp.  
Just imagine working on your biggest fears for 14 hours a week.  
I graduated!!! The test is out of 40, 40 being the worst, I originally scored a 33. But I am now graduated with an 8. 7 is not diagnosable OCD. So i was one point away from literally curing my OCD.  
So if you was wondering where I have been that's what i've been doing for all 11 weeks of my summer. (i'm actually a bit pissed the normal time for getting out is 8 weeks and all my friends graduated less then that, but apparently i'm just an underfucking acheiver and went for 11)  
So yes, I should have more time to update HYPOTHETICALLY. But you know shit happens and within this program i've been diagnosed with Autism, PTSD, an Eating disorder. So it's not just my theories anymore, I was fucking right! which is fantastic but also like. shit bud i've got a lot of issues.

So while the OCD part is (mostly) out of the way i've entered truama therapy, eating disorder clinic, and i'm on a waiting list for the Autism unit. (seattle childrens hospital, thank god for my insurance am i Right? DEBTERS PRISON)   
On top of that whole mental fuckedy sandwich. I'm also fighting with my school over their mistreatment of my individualized earning plan for my dyscalculia and ADHD and GAD. I should be put in a special ed math class but noooooo. Should be getting more time and less work as well, but noooooooo. It's fine though, I'm okay with taking an extra year of highschool if it means getting into my dream college.

I'm taking 9 classes this year, 8 in school and one online. (private school fucks up your credit kids don't fucking do it my tittmunchers)  
SO YEAH!  
I'm directing a play at school, helping my teacher design a curriculum for advanced creative writing as well.

So while i would love love love love love to boost up m words per month on all of my fanfiction, i'm unfortunatly unable to update regularly at all.

NOTHING IS BEING ABANDONED I hope soo . . i'm shit at promises, but I have a lit planned for at least two of my works i'm currently updating. this one and catching my breath.

Unfortunatly I don't think i'll be able to start updating frequently until after november.

I'm trying. but not only am I busy but my outlook on mental illness has changed in way that i would have to change the fundemental morality and storyline of my fanfics to align wiht my new views. EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE! cheesy i know but it's actually hard work. that and all my new info on how to handle certain outcomes which is hard to portray because it's a lot of tough love and self reliance.

I'm trying you guys. don't give up on me! i need your validation. Love you all thanks for reading everything and I promise that the latest this will update is the 1st on january 2018.

thank you!


	19. Kindergarten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wasup??? i'm back. guess who's back? me!!! Also added note i fucking love my boyfriend who i had a flashback in front of and he handled so well that i started to cry like forty minutes after it happened from greatfullness, sorry for spilling my personal details! actually you know what? nah, i'm sharing my personal details, y'all know me now XD But yes my boyfriend is an 11 out 10. I'm excited to try to get back into updating at least every fortnight!! hope you enjoy this mess!

Koushi wasn’t feeling great. He was feeling really tired, and kind of nauseous. The teen had woken up that morning feeling a dull tenderness in his chest. It had confused him, he wasn’t in heat, so why were his breasts tender? He brushed it off, maybe it was some weird hormonal thing. The gang was meeting up in town today, and he had to sneak past his dad to get out of the house. Hopefully he’d be passed out drunk in his chair by now. Koushi hoped.

The boy tiptoed his way down the pretty white banister and stairs, sliding his fingers delicately along the polish. The omega was wearing one of the dresses Daichi had bought for him. Pretty blue floral pattern. It was one of his favorites. For some reason it was all tight around his waist, he was eating a little bit more than usual . . . “Go change.” Koushi sighed.

“Please dad, I’m just going out with Daichi.” Koushi said, crumpling the fabric of his dress in between his slender fingers. His father turned around in his chair.

“It’s bad enough you’re a breeder. Go upstairs and get changed. Before you disappoint me more.” Koushi lowered his head.

“Yes, dad.”

-oOo-

 

Keishin sat in a small plastic chair, in front of a cheap wooden desk. All around him were childrens drawings, crafts, and photographs. It was very maternal, however one cold steel desk ornament clashed with the rest of the decor. He focused his attention on that. It calmed him down. Something about the coolness in it. Warmth only made him sweaty and nervous. Especially since this school seemed to ooze family perfection. He was dressed in his best pair of pants, khakis, and a dress shirt ittetsu had forced him to wear. It was itchy, and he was having a hard time keeping still because of it. A clock ticked, and ticked and ticked. He had only been there four minutes, not too long, but an eternity for someone like him. In just a moment however, someone broke the silence. Keishin adjusted himself, straightened his shoulders. Pressed his legs together, hands clasped on his knees. He might not have been able to fix his face, but he tried nonetheless. Maybe his lips were a pit too pouted and his eyes a bit wide with fear. The someone didn’t mention that though, instead opting to sit in the lovely floral arm chair behind the desk. This someone was the principle at the school; she wore nothing but florals and opaque blacks. He shoes were worn and tearing, and her face was covered in acne scars. She had a toothy grin that showed her gums, she emitted a warmth that mimicked the feel of the room. Keishin adjusted his collar. She plopped her elbows on the table so softly that he could only hear the slight ruffle of her padded sport coat. “So,” She began, her lips pulling at each other as she opened her mouth, “We’re here to talk about your little one? About enrolling him in our school?” Keishin nodded, adams apple bobbing. “He is six, correct?”

“Yes.” The lady looked at him for a moment, then let out a loud laugh.

“Oh! How terribly rude of me! I forgot to introduce myself. When i’ve got all the forms on my desk i forget about me. Well well. I’m Kuyiko Asumata. You can call me Mrs. K I’ve grown so accustomed to it.” Mr.s K reached over the desk and shook the alpha’s hand, it was like a dead fishes grip. And slimy too. Keishin tried to smile, but it really was more of a grimace.

“I’m Ukai Keishin, pleasure to meet you. Thank you for meeting with me.” Mrs. K waved her hands, she had a really deep laugh. It was unsettling.

“AH! No, no, the pleasure is all mine Mr. Ukai. Now, now. Let’s see . . . Six, correct?” Keishin nodded, he was fidgeting with his hands. “Yes, yes. And he’s never been in school before now?”

“Uh, no. Well. he’s my foster son. We are in the process of an adoption at the moment. But that's- uh that’s beside the point. His biological parents were quite old fashioned and kept him inside the home. They died, I don’t want to be mistaken for someone jaded but, it was probably for the best. Th-that’s the other thing,Mrs. K, that I wanted to talk to you about? About Koutarou past, about what he will need during school hours. Just so he can fit in with the other students. He’s quite bright really! Truly! Just a little different.” Keishin pressed on a little patch of skin above his thumb, he winced, bad habits die hard. Stupid nails, he’s gotta trim those.

“Oh? Oh, oh, oh, yes I see it in the forms. Quite right. You said here that Koutarou is autistic? Not only this hurdle, but has PTSD as well? You write below with comorbid symptoms stemming from both of these. Dear, oh dear, this must be such a hassle, such a task for you to handle. How do you do it all?” Keishin furrowed his brow. This was an unexpected response. It was difficult, maybe, to raise Koutarou, but not because of - well. It just didn’t seem appropriate for her to be saying all this, even if it was in good conscious. It sounded like she was saying he was a burden, Koutarou was not a burden, he was a miracle.

“N-not really, a hassle. No. . .” Mrs. K smiled even wider.

“Hmm, well. I’m not quite sure if our school is equipped to deal with someone with that amount of nee-”

“Wait,” Keishin stopped her. He put his hand up, sighing exasperated. “This is a public institution. By law you are required to fit him into your school, and follow the needs listed out in those papers by several of his doctors. You can’t just say you are not equipped to deal with my son.” Her lipstick stained teeth were lost behind her slim smile. And angry squinting eyes.

“There's no need to get angry at me Mr. Ukai. I’m sure it can’t be easy raising a kid with your disposition, but there is no need to take it out on me. I am only trying to help you.” Mrs. K took a sip of her tea before continuing. Keishin had just about had enough at this point. “I was simply saying. This school is not equipped enough to deal with your son. We don’t have the money. And although we will accept him nonetheless, it won’t be under the best of circumstances. Homeschooling would most likely be the best option for your son.” Keishin gritted his teeth.

“You are the only school within a twenty mile radius that is public. All of Bokuto’s doctors have informed me the best way for him to live a happy childhood and grow is for him to interact with children on a daily basis.”

“Well! Mr. Ukai do these doctors have a degree in education?”

“Mrs. Kuyiko, frankly I would just like to ask if you have a degree in child development and psychology.” Keishin was getting riled up. This fucking bitch was going to deny his son an education. He didn’t want to go home and tell Ittetsu what had happened. He didn’t want anything but to get his son into school, for christs sake. “All we were here to discuss this meetings is the certain needs my son will have to have to achieve the same goals as other children. There was nothing more to it. He is already enrolled.”

“I suppose you're right. Your son is already enrolled in our school. I guess there isn’t anything else I can do about it at this point. I’ll make sure what's on this lists is followed. The best I can.” She hid that dirty little secret under a skeevy grin. Keishin didn’t trust her.

“Is that it?” He asked. “That’s all we are going to do? Argue about my sons right to an education, and then kick me out?” Keishin had stood up at that point, realising how small this lady was. Feeling powerful over her.

“Sir, If you don’t calm down and leave my office I will call the campus police.” He turned away, quickly grabbing his coat and walking out the door. Fuck.

That wasn’t good. Even if she was an awful ableist asshole. He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn’t have used his size, his status, to threaten her. He was just repeating the cycle. His fingers ruffled through his hair in distress. Go damnit. Why was the world so grey? 

-oOo-

 

“Hey, Asahi?” Koushi asked one night after practice. Daichi had some family stuff to take care of and therefore had bolted home in his mother's car right after they were cleaned up. And Koushi didn’t feel comfortable walking home alone in the dark, so Asahi being the gentlemen he was had offered to walk him. They didn’t live too too far apart from each other. Asahi just a mile up the hill from Koushi. He hoped it wasn’t too much. He was struggling to get the question out. Asahi was his best friend. It was hard to ask him to help with something so personal. But lately things have been weird. His breasts had swollen, he’d been trying to hide it with a tight shirt. He was feeling kind of sick, and he had gained three pounds. It was all adding up, he really didn’t like it.

“Yeah?” Asahi asked back absentmindedly, looking around at the foliage the moon was lighting up.

“I- I wanted to ask you a favor.”

“Yeah?” He said.

“I don’t know for sure, but, I think - Well . . . I think I’m pregnant.” Wind swept by dramatically, emphasizing the sudden silence the two had fallen into. Asahi looked absolutely shocked, Cartoonishly staring at Koushi with his jaw dropped. Koushi had to cover his cackle with his hand. Yes, Asahi was the right person to tell. “Sorry, sorry!” Koushi kept laughing, “It’s just your face!”

“Don’t joke about things like that, Suga!” Suga shook his head, placing his hand on his friends shoulder. He sobered up quickly.

“I’m not, I swear. It’s just your face. You looked like a disappointed father, when his son said he wanted an anime body pillow for christmas.” Koushi chuckled again.

“You really are?” Koushi nodded. “How - did - hh - Koushi what are you-”

“I’m not sure yet,” The omega said, sushing the boy. “So I want you to come and help me with the test.” Asahi looked puzzled.

“Don’t you just have to pee on it?”

“Well . . . Yes but, I don’t want to be alone . . . you know?” He didn’t want anyone he knew to see him either. He’d been stupid, especially anyone that knew his dad, he’d die if his dad found out. Literally die. He didn’t trust his dad not to kill him. Koushi shivered.

“Yeah,” Asahi said. “Yeah ‘course. Course, when do you want to um-”

“Now!” Koushi put his hand over his mouth, “Now, now, i have to know now.” Asahi nodded, rubbing the back of his head, he looked very worried.

“Alright.”

 

-oOo-

“Are you almost done in there?” Asahi shouted through the red metal door.

“Yeah!” There was a long pause. “Okay,” Said a timid and shaking voice from the other side. “Come in!”

Suga looked like a wreck, his hair was disheveled and he had even forgotten to zip his pants up all the way. Asahi averted his eyes to the little pink stick sitting on the sink. “So what does it say?” Suga stared at the looming stick without moving. “Suga?”

“It’s not ready yet.” Asahi moved closer, bending down to stare at it.

They waited.

In silence.

For two whole minutes.

Silence.

It was agonizingly slow.

Really boring.

Asahi yawned. “I can’t look!” Suga squealed and turned away, placing his head on a wall. “Just tell me what it says . . any second now.” 

Asahi sighed. In just a moment later a little plus shaded in on the stick. A plus. Positive. “It’s positive.” And that’s when Suga started to cry. “Oh.” Hiccuping and sniffling as snot and big gator tears rolled down his cheeks. “Suga, it’s okay. You don’t have to worry. It’s going to be okay. There are options. We can help.” asahi placed a hand on the smaller boys shoulders. He didn’t know how to handle this.

“I should have been more careful!” Suga cried, turning and shoving his face into Asahi’s shirt. “I was an idiot.”

“There there” He rubbed his back. “You didn’t think, shit happens, it’s going to be okay.”

“I want to get rid of it.” Asahi nodded, he thought so. “I don’t want it. I don't want a parasite growing inside of me. I don’t want it! I can hardly take care of my friends, my dad, my fucking mom! How can I be a parent if - if I let her die!”

Asahi, with wet in his voice, hugged the omega tighter. Wanting to make sure he knew how much everyone loved him. “It wasn’t your fault, you were a kid! Suga, a child. You don’t have superpowers, you can’t beat sickness like that. You don’t have to take care of everyone, sometimes you just need to take care of yourself.” Suga nodded.

“I don’t want to tell Daichi.” Asahi sighed.

“You know he won’t judge you,” Suga remained silent. “But it’s your choice.”

“I want to go home. Can you take me home please?” It was hard watching suga walk home, gripping his stomach with a vice. Forcing himself to not just grab a sharp stick and try to shove it into his womb. It was hard to see someone who’s always been so strong with themselves break. And hate their own body, and magic that seemed to follow them.


	20. Authors note

Hey guys. I just wanted to let you know im doing real well. I really want to finish this and add the part two that i ave been planning but it is going to take me a WHILE. Sonce graduating highschool is proving difficult and i need to get back into haikyuu since i have basically isolated myself from fandoms and stuff just to study. I will finish this.

\- ya boii


	21. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been gone for far too long.

“Hey, kiddo. Are you lost?” It was getting late. The whole street seemed to be flushed orange with the sunset. Keiji had been sent home from the library, since it was a sunday and they were closing early. Usually he’d have gotten a ride earlier but his mom didn’t show up. He tried calling them using a payphone just outside but neither of them picked up. The kid sighed. He didn’t remember the way all too well, but he remembered the street names and the general direction his home was in, so he decided to give it a shot. Keiji was tired of waiting, the sooner he could get home the better. And mom wasn’t all to reliable anyways. He could do this. Or so he thought. Keiji had to admit to himself that he was lost now. On the verge of tears Keiji looked up at whoever had posed that question, he tried to contain the lip quiver, he nodded. “Oh, well that’s no problem! We’ll get you home . . . or find your parents in no time. I promise!” the person who was full of empty promises seemed to blend in with the sunset. Orange hair, really bright, it kind of hurt Keiji’s eyes. But Keiji was also kind of confused because the boy didn’t look too much older than him. “I’m Hinata, What’s your name?”

“Akaashi.” The boy smiled and looked around. Keiji squinted at him and tilted his head, what was he doing? Did he think he was blind and couldn’t see his parent if they were a few feet away? The kid rolled his eyes.

“That’s a nice name. How old are you?” Hinata asked.

“I’m five, how old are you?”  
“Fifteen. Are you looking for your mom and dad? Or house? Do you know what street you live on? Or your address? Your mom and dad’s phone numbers?” Keiji quickly wrapped his head around the bombardment of questions and nodded. Fifteen, he didn’t look that old at all.

“Ozai street. The big blue house, with the white fence and dog that never stops barking.” Hinata nodded dramatically. Thinking for a moment and then perking up.

“That’s only a couple blocks up! I’ll take you there! Hold my hand come on.” Keiji took he older boys hand. He kind of wished someone else would have found him, this boy was weird. Were all older boys this energetic?

 

-oOo-

Kotarou was being his noisy little self, humming a loud tune and waiting impatiently, looking out the window. Ittetsu was glancing back every now and then from the couch, where he held on to his keys and was texting Keishin to try and calm him down before they went in for a final meeting with the school board. Ittetsu was frustrated but he didn’t have the energy to argue, all he wanted was to get his kid into school that would treat him well. Kotarou quickly jumped off the window sill and ran to the door. Ittetsu followed him, “Be careful ko.” The little omega looked back at him and pulled, smiling on the door knob.

“Hinata!” He squealed. This boy was like a watchdog, Ittetsu laughed to himself, Opening the door; Kotarou ran out. Ittetsu had to catch him by his shirt collar to make sure he didn’t run out into the street. The redhead looked over from across the street and waived. Than Ittetsu noticed the little dark haired boy next to him. It seemed Kotarou noticed as well, because the boy ran right across the street, forcing Ittetsu to run after him.

“Koutarou!” he squeaked while running after him. The black haired boy was suddenly pummeled by Kou’s hug. “Hey, buddy, you can’t just run across the street like that.” Koutarou wasn’t paying attention. He gave up quickly, he’d have to teach this bouncy pup you got to look both ways! “Sorry, Hinata.” 

Hinata just laughed, “It’s okay! I was just dropping Akashi off here, he got lost.” Ittetsu looked between the three and put on hi smile.

“Nice to meet you Akashi. I’m Takeda.” The little boy stuck out his hand, surprisingly well mannered, Ittetsu returned it. “Is this your house?” Akashi nodded. There were no cars in the driveway, or lights on in the house. “Is anyone home?” Akashi shrugged.

“My parents don’t come home till late.” he said simply. He turned to Hinata and bowed. “Thank you for the help.” just started to walk up the steps to his house.

 

“Hey, Akashi. You can just come knock on my door if you need anything. It’s the one right over there, you see it?” The boy nodded. “Feel free, anytime.” Ittetsu turned to Hinata and Koutarou who was grinning wildly at the door Akashi had just passed through. The little omega bounced up and down and flapped his hands. Ittetsu chuckled. “Sorry about the running. Come inside?”

 

-oOo-

 

A small room with lights that made all the guests feel trapped and gloomy. Reminding them all of their days as students. Ittetsu put a smile on and Keishin put on his best look of intimidation. The same principal Keishin had met with last week was there, looking all smug and . . . and . . nasty at them. The director of disability classes and rights in the district and and the teacher Bokuto would be placed with. He looked nice. The director - who had a very colorful name tag that said ‘Mrs. Mio’ - handed them both packets of paper. “Thank you.” he said.

“No problem, sweetheart. I hear we are going to be talking about your son today? Adopted right? Well the district is required to supply for those with disabilities, and I know that Mr. Webber has had children with special needs before, even abroad. But i heard you had some special requests besides the ones we are required for? I’m sure we can come to an agreement. If everyone keeps their calm.” Ittetsu knew right away that the only story she heard was from the principle bitc- lady.

“Of course, Mrs. Mio, we didn’t have any other plans.” Mrs. Mio nodded kindly.

“So first off how about you tell us all about your little pup, hmm?” Keishin rolled his eyes, a soft kick to the shin had him stop.

“Koutarou arrived at our house a few months ago from a physically and sexually violent home surrounded by drugs and neglect. He was only brought to us once his parents almost drove him off a cliff from their overdoses. Henceforth he has dealt with many obstacles. PTSD and problems that stem from his past traumas and some other neurological disorders that have been recently diagnosed. Autism being one of them. His needs really don’t have to be all that much but we want to take extra precaution in the beginning. He’s really hyper, and happy, and he loves stuffed animals, he can be loud, but he doesn’t like talking to new people. He has a hard time communicating what he needs but if you give him time he can get there. Koutarou has a hard time being around Alpha’s and Beta’s that he just meets. As well as how picky of an eater he is, sometimes he is just unable to swallow. HE has flashbacks and panic attacks. But he wants to learn and is in therapy. We work everyday to make sure he can come here. All we ask is to have just a couple exceptions. We were hoping to he could be provided with an aid.” There was a long silence between his long monologue on Koutarou nature. Mrs. Mio seemed to be contemplating and Mr. Webber was just smiling. 

“I think under the circumstances that is a great idea. Would our goal to be to diminish the need for an aid under your direction and the doctors that work with your son?” Ittetsu nodded. The principle rolled her eyes.

“A flexible plan for his education would be great as well.” Added Keishin.

“To get an Aid we will need you to sin these papers,” She said, rummaging through a large bag and pulled out another pamphlet. “And each of his Doctors as well, to get a release of his evaluations so we can justify the money for an aid to the district. Once these are signed we can assign him one. If you get these into me next week we can enroll him next month. Uhm . . . another thing i’d like to talk about is whether or not you want him in special ed. While we can put him in the class, another option is to have a 3 month evaluation of his performance in class, to see if he really needs that help as well?” Mrs. Mio gave them the sweetest smile. “Don’t worry about your son you two, we’ve had plenty of kids like this before and i’m sure the district can spare a little.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've graduated now! i'm an adult! and I also am not in therapy anymore. More hopefully coming soon!


	22. Predator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fucking pedophile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i don't update this that much. My meds have been givin me some real bad creative block. i'm gonna try harder though

Mr. Webber had always thrown himself into his work. Often spending longer in the school than the rest of the staff. He had won popularity among the kids and the teachers and the neighborhood. He was a nice person that everyone loved to be around. And he prided himself on this. He didn’t have a bad childhood, or any bad run ins with anything. Maybe he had a distant relationship with his mother but nothing serious. He had a privileged life. He never felt bad sitting down at his computer and jacking off to the things he did. It didn’t make him feel bad when he heard word of his alumni students becoming drug addicts, getting arrested, or even killing themselves. That was their own decisions. Mr.Webber liked to spend his evenings in his room, posting on Alpha rights forums and watching porn. Mostly just the typical omega getting fucked till they passed out porn but his favorite was the kids. He didn't know why he liked it. He just liked it. He just did. And he saw nothing wrong with it. Age was just a number wasn’t it? These kids never said no, and even if they did it didn’t matter, they were kids, sex was natural and one couldn’t be traumatised by it. It was all due to fragile PC people who made it seem like you could. This helped people grow. Alpha’s had needs. And it wasn’t moral to infringe upon them. 

He looked at the screen, touching himself, moaning. And then he realized something. “Well i’ll be damned,” he huffed. This little fucks going to my school, he thought. He started stroking himself faster. “F-fuck” This was an exciting day. And exciting day indeed.


	23. Secrets

Bokuto didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to leave his parents. There were too many people, and everything was too noisy. And it was too big and too scary so he screamed for at least ten minutes, before being ripped away from his papa. A nice beta lady was holding him and cradling him. “It’s okay pup. You’re gonna have a great day and your daddy's will be back so soon!” Bokuto cried into her breast. He just wanted to go home. He was sat down on the colorful carpeting, still sniffling, rubbing at his eyes. A familiar scent came to him. He looked up in between is hiccups.

“We get to have fun all day now.” The familiar face of Tetsurou showed. Tetsurou held out his hand. “Come on I’ll show you too our spot.” Bokuto wiped his nose, getting a good amount of snot on his sleeve and followed his friend.

 

-oOo-

 

Koshi decided he wouldn’t tell Daichi about the pregnancy. He waited with tons of omegas, some beta’s and surprisingly one alpha. They all were ignoring each other. Koshi just wanted this over with as quickly as possible. “Sugawara?” A nurse called. “It’s your turn!”

 

-oOo-

 

“What are you working on Bokuto?” Mr. Webber asked the pup. The kid pointed at his drawing and continued to color furiously. “Oh, I see. You’re drawing something you like a lot right?” Bokuto nodded. “Something like an animal?” Bokuto nodded again, grinning to himself. “ARe you drawing a . . . bunny?” The boy shook his head playing with his shirt. “Hmm . . . how about a horse?” Bokuto giggled and shook his head. “Can it fly?” Bokuto nodded. “Is it a bird?”

“Owl!” Only slightly surprised by the pup talking, Mr. Webber smiled in return.

“Oh an owl. Owl’s are very nice creatures. Are they your favorite animal?” The pup nodded. “Mine too!” Bokuto beamed, and clapped his hands. This was going to be easy.


	24. Grade school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys im doing great. I uploaded this while i was in the E.R

“kKOOSHIII!” Koshi jumped up from his studying. He wiped the drool from his mouth. Yuch, he hoped he wouldn’t do this on the test. “Koshi! You get your ass down here right now.” Koshi quickly made his way down the stairs.

“COming!” He heard a smash and stopping, muttering as well. He started thinking of all the things that could of happened. At first he thought about the pregnancy test. No he wasn’t even home when he took that. Did they doctor call? No because he only put down his number and Asahi’s. Did his dad find his dresses? He doubted it. He only had one hidden beneath his dresser at the moment.

“What the hell do you think this is?” His dad shoved a paper in his face. “Why am I receiving this garbage in my house?” Koshi pulled the paper back from his face, squinting at it. His shoulders dropped and he sighed. Thank god. “You got a D? Are you fucking kidding me? You think I can accept this?”

“I’m sorry sir.” His dad crumpled the paper up and threw it at him.

“Oh don’t give me that shit. You’re gonna get it fixed. There isn’t another option here.” His dad sat down on the couch. Flipping through the channels. The coffee table was in disarray, more papers spread across the dining room table. It was a mess. It bothered him, his dad was normally a clean man. He looked back to his dad. “YOu gonna answer me or you gonna keep standing there lookin like a retard?”

“No, sir, sorry sir. I’ll get it fixed.” he turned to walk up the stairs again. Getting his grade fixed would be pretty easy. He was a good student so it must of just been a missed assignment or a bad test score. He could fix that.

“Oh, and Koshi?” The omega turned around. “You might want to come grab your bill while your down here.” His blood went cold. The letter was already open. The doctor’s name . . . The procedure . . . Koshi couldn’t move. “Are you gonna make me pay for it?” Koshi ran down the stairs and tore the letter from his dad’s hands. He needed to get out of here, he was gonna be sick. He saw it. He saw everything. He slammed the door once he was in his room. Falling to the floor.

“Daichi?” He whispered into his phone. “I need you to come and get me. Right now. Park a couple streets away . . . okay?” He hung up before his mate was able to answer.

 

-oOo-

 

A few miles away a 7th grade student wanders around downtown. Kicking rocks as he walked his way home. He ponders with the idea of just never coming home. But it was stupid, that wouldn’t do anything. Besides he wanted to go home to his bed. No one would believe him anyways.

 

-oOo-

 

“Can I go to school today?” Koutarou asks as he waddled up to the kitchen counter. Ittetsu bites his toast, silly pup. He was glad he was enjoying school.

“Sorry babe but it’s a weekend. You don’t have school on weekends.” Koutarou pouted. “aww hun, you'll go back on monday. And today we can go to see everyone at practice today. How does that sound?” the pup lightened up a bit. God he was such a cutie. Ittetsu’s heart fluttered. Everything was starting to fall into place. He picked up the pup and placed him on his lap. They were their own little family. Just like he wanted.


End file.
